tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74550153975149411222024-02-19T15:42:31.684-08:00Wide Open SpacesJust trying to figure out what my identity is post graduation!thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.comBlogger92125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-42388470953174152582017-03-26T14:19:00.000-07:002017-03-26T14:23:14.305-07:00God Help the Outcast<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; min-height: 13px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I got the opportunity to preach today for the first time in a very long time. It went great. Here's the text of my sermon for those who weren't able to be there in person! Scripture texts are Genesis 1: 26-30 & Luke 14: 15-24</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; min-height: 13px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"><span style="font-size: 11px;"> </span> </span>In the beginning, God created everything there was to create in just six days. From the waters to the skies to the land beneath our feet and the trees that tower over us. Yes, God made everything. And yet, God entrusted us with the land that God had created. God told us that it was ours to preside over and take care of. God believed that we were capable of taking care of the land, the trees and the animals. God believed in us.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>So, that begs the question then? How have we done with taking care of the Earth that God has entrusted to us? Are we doing a good job of taking care of it? If God were giving us a grade, would we get an A or an F? Or something in between?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Well, I don’t think it is any secret that we definitely won’t be receiving an A rating anytime soon. With all the global devastation that has been caused by humankind over the centuries, it almost seems like we would receive a failing grade. Climate change, extinction of species, polar ice caps melting, the destruction of the ozone layer, food waste, landfills and the list goes on and on and on. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>So, yeah, we aren’t exactly doing the greatest job of taking care of our planet. That’s pretty clear. But how are we doing at taking care of each other? In our passage from Luke, we hear Jesus tell the parable of the great banquet in which guests were invited to dine with the host of the dinner but they each declined for various reasons. Angered by this, the host instead asks his servants to bring in all the homeless, the disabled and all those who wish to have a meal to eat of his feast. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>It’s a pretty powerful story and one can easily picture that banquet table filled with guests of all ages and disabilities. I live in the Tenderloin so it would be as if I walked around the streets of the Tenderloin and invited all the people I saw on the street to come have dinner at my house. All the drug dealers, the addicts, the homeless and the mentally ill gathered at my house for dinner. Something tells me my roommates would probably not be ok with this idea!</span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>How does this relate to what I’m talking about today? It gets to my larger point that we have a problem with food. Specifically, with the ways in which it is distributed and the ways in which people can access it. Did you know that enough food is produced every day for every single person on the planet to have enough to eat? So why is it that 42 million people just in America are considered food insecure, meaning they have to skip meals or go without eating sometimes? If enough food is produced to feed all the people who need it, why are there still people who hunger? </span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>This church has a long and proud history of being involved in these issues of food inequality, food scarcity and food justice. Our new food pantry is but the latest way that we as a congregation are dealing with these issues. If only that were enough, though. Sadly, it is not food pantries alone that can solve the problem of hunger. Volunteering at soup kitchens and food pantries and homeless shelters and other programs is not enough to solve the problem. It requires support from both the state and the federal government. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Last week, the White House announced a new federal budget and it was immediately subject to controversy. Among the many things facing cuts are both Meals on Wheels and school lunch programs. A supporter of the proposed budget said that the cuts were because those two programs don’t see results, whatever that means. In his best selling book, God’s Politics, author Jim Wallis says “Budgets are moral documents. They clearly reveal the priorities of a family, a church, an organization, a city or a nation. A budget shows what we most care about and how that compares to other things we care about. So when politicians present their budgets, they are really presenting their priorities.” So, we now know what our new administration’s priorities are: war, the military and a wall. And we also know what their priorities are not: feeding the elderly and the poor. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Our Lenten theme this year comes from the prophet Amos who says, “let justice roll down like waters.” Amos was very critical of his country for their treatment of the poor, the downtrodden and the destitute. Jesus also makes it very clear that we are to love and support those who do not have the same benefits and resources that we do. And in the creation story, we hear that God tasks us with taking care of God’s creation which means not just the plants and animals but also each other. The Biblical witness is full of times when God expresses what theologian Gustavo Gutierrez calls God’s preferential option for the poor. This means that God and Jesus often shows up in ways that highlight the poor and downtrodden and that God has a special affinity for the poor. We can see this all throughout Scripture; in the Prophets with their wailing against the nation of Israel for how it treats its poor; in the Gospels with Jesus and his ministry to the outcast and downtrodden and in so many other places all throughout the Bible. We see and hear how God’s love is especially for the poor and unlucky, the weak and the odd. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Thus, as Christians, it is part of our very calling to speak out against cuts to programs like Meals on Wheels. It is an act of justice to stand up and declare that any budget that cuts out meals for seniors or children is unjust and unChristian. It simply is unconscionable that anyone could think that this budget reflects anything approaching Christian values. A program that helps millions of seniors eat and brings them a visitor or two is not something that should just be cut and taken away. These programs provide a vital service to society. Their results? Keeping seniors alive and fed and giving them some company for a few minutes every day. For many seniors, the meals on wheels delivery people are the only human interaction they get all day. To take even that away from them is not just cruel, it is inhumane and we must be willing to call it that. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>But lest you think this sermon was only going to be about #45 and his cruelty, let me pivot a bit to talk about the wider issue of food justice and how it impacts our lives everyday. Did you know that around 40% of all the food produced is never eaten? Did you know that 23 million people live in what are known as food deserts meaning that they have to walk at least a mile in order to find healthy, affordable food options? There’s so many things wrong with both those scenarios. It seems radically unfair that so many people do not have easy access to fresh, healthy food and must live on unhealthy, high sugar meals that only cause them all kinds of health problems. Meanwhile, those of us with access to fresh, healthy food either don’t buy it or do buy it but then are forced to throw it out due to lack of use. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Both of these are a problem and let me emphasize that one is not worse than another. Both represent a failure to appreciate and support God’s creation. And both also do not extend the hospitality that Jesus tells us to extend toward our neighbor. Cutting Meals on Wheels, wasting food, letting people live in food deserts are all ways that we, as Christians and as people, fall short of glorifying God and appreciating God’s creation. This isn’t simply a problem of our country’s administration or our elected officials. This is a problem that all of us have been complicit in, in some way. And that means that it is up to all of us to address the problem and fix it. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>What does that look like exactly? Well, many times it can and does look like volunteering at your local food pantry or donating food to the food bank. It can look like offering to make a meal for your local homeless shelter or volunteering to serve meals with Meals on Wheels. But there’s so much more to it than that. Real change, the kind that lasts and makes a real difference comes not just from volunteering but from activism. We have to be willing to take bold steps no matter how uncomfortable they might make us. I’m not going to stand up here and tell you what specific actions you should be taking because that comes off as shaming and I certainly don’t want that to be what comes across in my message today. However, there is more that all of us can be doing to address the structural problems of food inequality and food insecurity. What that might look like is going to be different for each and every one of us based on our abilities, our skills, our interest levels and our time commitments. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>My main point is that all of us can contribute something to the conversation around food justice. And as followers of Jesus, all of us should be doing something. Can you march or participate in a protest on food justice? Can you write to your congressperson and ask them what steps they are taking to address hunger in America? Can you provide a meal for your local homeless shelter? Can you boycott businesses that aren’t paying their employees a living wage? Are you willing to shop at your local farmer’s market rather than a big chain store? I’m not suggesting that you need to do all of these things. Nor am I suggesting that you need to do any of these things as there may be some way you can contribute that I didn’t mention. What I am saying is that our Biblical witness calls us to do the work of justice no matter what that may look like for us. All of us can do something, no matter how small or insignificant it may appear to be to us. Trust me, it will make a huge difference to someone else. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>God entrusted us with God’s creation and God believes in us still and in our capacity to fulfill God’s promise on that. We can still choose who we want to invite to the table and who we want to stand up for. God’s preferential option for the poor is the clarion call we should heed to help the poor and the outcasts. The ones that society has cast aside are exactly the ones that we should be helping the most. We can do nothing less as Christians. I leave you with the words of Oscar Romero who served as the Archbishop of San Salvador and was assassinated 37 years ago this very week. He says, “There are not two categories of people. There are not some who were born to have everything and leave others with nothing and a majority that has nothing and can’t enjoy the happiness that God has created for all. God wants a Christian society, one in which we share the good things that God has given for all of us.” May we strive to make it that kind of world. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal; min-height: 13px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal; min-height: 13px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal; min-height: 13px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: helvetica; line-height: normal; min-height: 13px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></div>
thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-21120858940385017892016-03-30T18:53:00.000-07:002016-03-30T18:53:36.896-07:00Out of the Woods?! In my previous blog post, I wrote about what I was going to be giving up for Lent this year. I decided to make a huge sacrifice and give up dating. For the past 40+ days, I haven't been on a date at all. I even deleted all my online dating profiles and apps so I wouldn't even be tempted to even flirt with a guy. So, how was the experience of going dateless for Lent? Did I hate it? Did I love it? Would I do it again?<br />
To be honest, it was actually kinda refreshing to give up something so important to me for forty days. Did I miss it? At first, kinda but then I got used to it. It was nice to not have my time so caught up in messaging guys and to not have to play those crazy mind games for a while of "will he message me back". It felt freeing to be able to devote my time and energy to other pursuits and interests. I had more time to myself, more time with friends and more time to devote to other hobbies. I found myself not having to be concerned as much with whether or not a guy likes me or is into me. I enjoyed my time away from the dating game and think it gave me a new clarity and focus. I had some time to figure out what it is I actually might want in a potential partner. I had time to determine what really are my deal breakers and what am I more willing to compromise on. I also now know that I don't want to play games with anybody. I'm not looking for games. I'm looking for something real. Games are for children, not adults. I have a better idea of that now.<br />
Sunday night, I slowly began the process of dipping my toes back into the dating pool. I'm going gently back in as I don't want to burn myself out on it again. I feel much less cynical about it now, though. I genuinely am going into this with a much more optimistic outlook on it all but also a much more realistic outlook as well. I know that not every guy is going to be into me. I get that now. I also know that I'm not going to be into every guy. That's ok too. I feel better able to handle rejection and disappointment now and I also have learned better how to respect my own needs and time more. I'm not going to waste time going on a date with someone unless I am really into them and feel like there might be a connection. My time is way too valuable to me now. I'm also going to try and do a better job of asserting myself and being the first one to message and the first one to ask out on a date and such. I have tended to be rather passive about that in the past but that hasn't done me any good. If I like someone, I need to be more aggressive. That's going to be difficult for me as I know myself well enough to know that being assertive is something that doesn't come to me naturally. Blame the social anxiety or the Asperger's or whatever else but I am determined to overcome it.<br />
What I have also realized is that it really is going to be ok if I end up alone. That doesn't mean I've been a failure. That doesn't mean that I have to feel alone. I can surround myself with friends and family and such. Yes, having a partner is a different thing entirely but that doesn't mean that that has to be the only option to be happy. I'm not going to close the door or say that there isn't anyone out there for me but I'm also going to accept that this may end up being my normal for the rest of my life and I need to make peace with that. Taking a break from dating helped me realize that. Now when I do go on dates it won't be because of some desperate need to not be single. It will be more out of a genuine desire to connect romantically with someone and to have them be a part of my already great life. Perhaps that's been the secret all along? I don't know but I sure am looking forward to getting back out there. It's been a good 40 days in the desert but now, I'm ready to have my thirst quenched! thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-81202663146834983682016-02-10T21:16:00.002-08:002016-02-10T21:16:36.838-08:00The More Boys I Meet (or What I'm Giving Up for Lent) The season of Lent is upon us. This is the time of year when Christians around the world commit to a season of repentance and renewal. In the weeks leading up to Jesus's death, we are reminded of the sacrifices Jesus made and are asked to recommit ourselves to following Christ in this season. Many Christians choose to do that by giving up something for Lent. It can be chocolate or soda or caffeine or candy or TV or Facebook or any number of other things. The whole point of giving something up is to help you connect better with God and with your faith. Many people give something up and take something else on, like reading the Bible every day or praying every day or something else entirely.<br />
So, what am I giving up this year? Something that just a year ago, I wouldn't have ever imagined I would want to give up or even need to give up. I'm giving up dating. You see, over the last year, the number of dates I have gone on has skyrocketed. I went on more dates in the last year than I did in the previous 15 years combined. Some of them were great. Some of them were terrible. Some were really mediocre. I learned a lot from each of them and I met a lot of great guys through these dates. However, none of them have led to anything substantial or long lasting. I've ended up alone over and over again and that has really hurt. I'm really tired of the games and the drama and the endless back and forth. I'm tired of going on a great date with a guy only to never hear from him again. I've gotten to the point where I'm no longer looking forward to going on dates. I've become bitter and cynical and keep telling myself that this one won't be any different than all the others. When that starts happening, you know you need to take a break for a while.<br />
So, I'm declaring that for Lent this year, I shall not be going on any dates. I, just this morning, deleted all my online dating apps completely. I'm taking a break and closing things down for a few weeks. I'm hoping to use this time to recharge, refresh and to figure out what is it that I really want in a relationship. What are my deal breakers? What am I willing to compromise on? What do I need from a partner and more importantly, what do I have to give to a partner? I'm not so sure that I actually know the answers to those questions anymore which is why I think I need to take a break for a while. It is even entirely possible that I may stay away from dating for longer than the Lenten season. I may or may not ever come back to it, to be perfectly honest. I enjoy being single and if I have to end up all alone, then so be it. I've made peace with that and I'm not losing sleep over it. For right now, I need a break. A break from drama and games and constant wondering if I should text him first or if I should wait until he texts me. A break from break-ups and bad dates and awkward silences and all that. I think my wallet and my schedule will appreciate the break as well (dating is expensive out here, for the record).<br />
So, here we go. Day 1 of the new adventure known as no dating. I've heard it said that you meet the love of your life when you stop looking. Time to put that theory to the test! Here goes nothing! Wish me luck and hold me accountable to this. I really am determined to keep this Lenten vow and go an entire 40+ days with no dates. It shall be hard, I am sure. But I have found myself developing an unhealthy addiction to dating so I need to cut it off before it gets much worse. I shall let you all know how it goes and what, if anything, I learned from the experience.thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-91290943352743172412016-01-03T20:38:00.001-08:002016-01-03T20:38:20.222-08:00Word of the YearHello folks,<br />
I know what you're thinking: what, he's actually blogging?! OMG, stop the presses!! Yes, it is true, I have not been very good about blogging on this thing in a very long time. I can't promise that I will ever blog again after this post is published. I just really haven't been in the mood to sit down and write on this thing so I just haven't. Anyway, without further ado, I bring you to the subject of this very post.<br />
I don't know how many of you are familiar with the concept of word of the year. It is the idea that you pick a word at the beginning of the year with the hope that you will actually live into that word over the course of the year. I've known about the word for a while but never actively participated in it. For me, the concept of coming up with a word for my entire year before the year has really even begun is just baffling and weird to me. And, if I'm being honest, a bit daunting. After all, what if I can't actually manage to live in to that word? What if I pick a word and my year doesn't end up fitting that word at all? Yeah, suffice it to say I have lofty expectations for myself when it comes to such a concept so I haven't ever participated before.<br />
I'd like to start by taking a minute to reflect back on the past year. 2015 was my best year yet. I grew so much as a person, as a friend and as an individual. I graduated finally with my Masters degree. I moved to one of the most beautiful and diverse cities in the world. I started my first grown up big kid job (one that is actually in my field). I joined the SF Gay Men's Chorus, a group that has helped me find community and do something I love. I got my first tattoo (one that I'm so thrilled with and one that I still need to sit down and explain the rationale behind someday). I traveled to two states I had never been to before (North Carolina and Utah) and I met a United States senator! Plus, I got to see One Direction and Lee Ann Womack in concert! Yeah, 2015 was jam-packed with lots of activity and excitement. Is it possible to have a word that sums up the year? What word could possibly describe this past 365 days of my life?<br />
For me, the word for 2015 would be hope. I spent the first few months of 2015 unsure where I was going and what I was going to be doing next. This time last year I was in the process of applying for jobs out of state and praying to God that I would get one of them. I felt that my time in the Bay Area had come to an end and I was ready to move on and experience life someplace new. Long story short, neither of the jobs I applied for even granted me an interview. I was disappointed and sad but by then I had also come to the realization that I wasn't quite as ready to say goodbye to California as I thought. So, I took it as a good sign that neither one of those jobs panned out. However this still meant that I was less than three months away from graduation without a job offer in sight and no housing leads either. I kept praying to God asking God to send me some sort of sign that opting to stay out here was the right move. Months went by with nothing. No job offers, no housing leads and graduation was looming ever closer. I was starting to get very angry and annoyed with God. It felt like my prayers weren't being heard. It felt like God didn't care anymore and had given up on me. Flash forward to August. 3 weeks before I needed to have something lined up, I got offered my current position as a hospital chaplain. Then, just a few days later, I got offered a place to live in SF that was within my budget and would only be a short 30 minute commute to work. Did I mention that this all happened just before I had to be out of my on campus housing? Yeah, God was listening to my prayers. God heard every single one of them but God was just waiting for the exact right moment and the exact right thing before God could answer them. I kept holding out hope that God would provide. Turns out, my hopes weren't misplaced. God sent me the exact right things at exactly the right time and keeping my hope in God and prayer alive.<br />
So yeah, I'd say hope would be a great word to sum up my 2015. So, what about 2016? Do I even dare and try to already think of a word that could possibly encapsulate this next year of my life? There's so much pressure here. Whatever word I pick I feel like I have to live up to. I like the idea of challenging myself to live in to a word. So, here goes nothing. My word for 2016 is:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiULZKqZhU3xBEU7JBGJYjU_Sc7Pl3RZ5kmtYmuIo_ymojCD0GVtPN9mrGHHZ47tk3q2Y90hLCu3s911S8FGDDMvaHE9rFEGAHob18nmbZv0dGfFZT4-q6jxeheMFmv6lmX4SyRb2Cu6WKe/s1600/joy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiULZKqZhU3xBEU7JBGJYjU_Sc7Pl3RZ5kmtYmuIo_ymojCD0GVtPN9mrGHHZ47tk3q2Y90hLCu3s911S8FGDDMvaHE9rFEGAHob18nmbZv0dGfFZT4-q6jxeheMFmv6lmX4SyRb2Cu6WKe/s1600/joy.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Yep, my word is JOY!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Joy is not a word that comes easily to me. I'm a pessimist with clinical depression so the concept of being full of joy about anything is not something I've been very good at. But I want to approach this year with joy. I want to be joyful and appreciative of all I have. I want to try new things and not complain about them. I want to not be a "bitter, old cynic" and instead look forward to whatever this year might bring me, good or bad or neutral. I want to maintain my sense of joy because I know what it looks like to live without that. I lived without joy or hope or anything positive for too long and I'm tired of living that way. So, I'm declaring 2016 the year of JOY! May it be so! </div>
thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-54126329825042577642015-08-16T12:32:00.001-07:002015-08-16T12:32:08.998-07:00We Built This CityHad the opportunity to guest preach today at a Presbyterian church in San Francisco. Scripture text is Jeremiah 29: 7-9.<br />
<br />
The prophet Jeremiah has some really strong words for the Israelites here. They’re upset about being sent into exile and cast out of their homes. Understandable perhaps. After all, who wants to be cast out of their home and forced to make a life elsewhere? My guess is, most of us wouldn’t willingly sign up to live in exile or to live without the comforts of home. It would make us feel very uncomfortable and perhaps even a bit unsafe.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I’ve been spending my summer doing a unit of Clinical Pastoral Education with the San Francisco Night Ministry. The Night Ministry has been in existence for 51 years and in that time has become a vital and important part of the night life of the city. The Night Ministry practices a ministry of presence and is there for people when they most need it. Our job is not to convert, proselytize, evangelize or condemn. We simply walk with people and engage with them wherever they might be on their spiritual or life journey. Our work causes us to spend time with prostitutes, drag queens, bartenders, doormen, drug addicts, drunks, alcoholics and people who are living on the streets for one reason or another.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>We hear some rather interesting stories through walking the streets. Stories that can break your heart. Stories that can make you doubt your faith in God. Stories that can make you wonder why you continue to do this type of ministry.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>They are the stories of people like Jimmy, a man I met on the streets. Jimmy is in his mid 20s. He’s living on the streets because his parents kicked him out of the house when he came out as gay. He had been staying in a local shelter but the living environment was really abusive and not healthy. Now, he’s living on the streets trying to make enough money to get something to eat, even just a donut from the local donut shop. His story is the story of so many young gay men.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>There’s Mark, a young man I met who had recently overdosed on heroin for the third time. A man who is so addicted to heroin that not even the fear of death will stop him from seeking it out. He’s already died and come back three times. He is fully aware that the next time he overdoses, he may not come back. It may be too late. Yet, he’s an addict. He literally can’t stop. His story is the story of so many addicts.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>There’s Thea, a trans woman of color I met. She’d been homeless for three days but still maintained a positive attitude. She was quoting Bible verses at me and kept telling me she was remaining optimistic. I’m sure Thea is aware, though, that her status as a trans woman of color makes her much more likely to face violence and sexual assault. Trans women of color are the most at risk, particularly those who are homeless. Her story is the story of so many trans men and women.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>These stories are just a few of the many stories I’ve heard over the last two months of working with the Night Ministry. There are many, many more that I and my colleagues could share but I think those will suffice. What does one do with all these stories? How does one carry all of them and possibly continue on to do the work every night? Every single night we hear story after story after story. It can sometimes feel overwhelming. I’ve often questioned why I’m doing this work, particularly after a hard night full of tragic stories.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you”. What does this phrase actually mean? It is real tempting to read this phrase as meaning that I should see myself and my colleagues as the saviors of San Francisco and that thus we are called to bring salvation and save those on the streets from their plight. I do have a bit of a savior complex so you can understand why I might be tempted to read these words that way. However, I think that’s perhaps not the best approach to take with these verses.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>How then should we read these verses? Let’s look at the word “welfare”. It means the good fortune, health or happiness of a person, group or organization. So, what Jeremiah is saying here is that we are supposed to seek out the happiness of the city where we have been sent. How does this apply to my work with the Night Ministry? When do we ever see any sort of happiness or good fortune in the work we are doing? I’ve made it sound pretty bleak and depressing.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The church doesn’t always have the best reputation. Christians and Christianity have a public relations problem. It is especially true here in the Bay Area. Marin County, where I currently live, is the most unchurched county in the entire country. People just don’t see the purpose of going to church anymore. It is easy to see why when all you hear from the media is all the ways that Christianity continues to persecute and hate others in Jesus’s name. This is the kind of Christianity that the Night Ministry works to counteract. Every time we walk into a gay bar or a drag show or talk to a trans person, we are sending the message that the church can and is a force for good.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Here’s where the welfare of the city idea comes in. By being present in those moments and those places, we are doing the work of Jesus Christ. Through this work, the church is given a new image, a better image. When people find out that we are with the Night Ministry, they tell us stories. Stories that they might not otherwise tell anyone else. Stories of deep pain and great joy. Stories that transform both the teller and the listener.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The Night Ministry does its work with little fanfare or press. We’re known but not well known. Yet, we are everywhere in this city every night. When the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage nationwide, I and one of my colleagues were in the Castro walking the streets and enjoying being a part of the celebration and festivities. Our presence there sent a message that not all Christians are bad. There are actually some that wanted to celebrate marriage equality right along with them.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“For in its welfare, you will find your welfare.” When the city celebrates, we celebrate. When the city mourns, we mourn. We walk alongside those like Jimmy & Mark & Thea but we also walk alongside those who are celebrating marriages, births, job promotions. In their good fortune is ours as well. In their joy is our joy.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>It is through my work with the Night Ministry that I have learned something deep and profound about the nature of Christian community. Our joys and our sorrows are all wrapped up together. When one hurts, all hurt. When one celebrates, all celebrate.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>This spirit of community is embedded in the city of St. Francis. It’s what built this city into the great place it is. This city had to band together in the 80s when the AIDS epidemic hit. When Harvey Milk was assassinated. When the People’s Temple cult killed themselves. When so many other historic and important things have happened here, the city has come together as one. We built this city not on rock and roll but on compassion. On caring for each other. On taking care of our own community members. On living with each other even when we disagree with each other.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>For in its welfare, you will find your welfare. When we take care of each other, we take care of ourselves. God has called us to care for each other, the Jimmys and Marks and Theas of the world. This care can be as simple as a long conversation about their life or even just a hug. It can take many forms but whatever form it takes, it can and will bring about our own welfare and that of others. The whole purpose of the work the Night Ministry does is to humanize others. To make them feel like they have value and import. When we see others, really see them, we give them a sense of humanity. And in return, we feel more human too. We find our welfare wrapped up in their welfare. This is part of our calling as Christians. This is part of our calling as human beings. This is part of our calling as residents of the city of St. Francis. We can do no less nor no more with our lives. “Seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you.” Indeed, Jeremiah, let us go forth and seek the welfare of this beautiful, amazing city we call home. Let us go forth and see the Jimmys, the Marks and the Theas in our communities. Let us go forth from this place prepared to discover the many ways that our own interests are tied up with those of others. Amen.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-44824971697002880602015-07-12T12:41:00.001-07:002015-07-12T12:41:13.581-07:00BraveToday, I was blessed to preach the following sermon. This marks my first preaching gig since graduation. Scripture text is Amos 7: 10-15<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br />
<br />
How many of us have the courage to do something that we know is going to be difficult? How many of us will, when necessary, stand up and speak out? How many times have we personally risked relationships in order to express our views?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Courage is defined by the dictionary as, “the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear.” That sounds easy enough, doesn’t it? Yet, for some reason so many of us are either unwilling or unable to take the steps necessary to be courageous especially when it comes to our relationships.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>In the last year, we have seen an escalation in violence against the African American community. From police murdering black people to a white man murdering 9 black people during their Bible study to 8 black churches being burned by arsonists, now is a dangerous time to be black in America. Comedian Chris Rock was recently asked if black men are an endangered species now and his response was, “no, the government protects endangered species.”<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yes, it is a dangerous time to be black in America. However, what are white people doing about it? Are we speaking up in support of our black brothers and sisters? Are we participating in the Black Lives Matter movement? Are we speaking out and declaring that the Confederate flag is indeed racist and should be taken down and never put back up? Or are we too afraid of what speaking out might mean for our relationships with our friends and family? Are we not willing to have those bold, courageous moments because we know it will damage a relationship that is pretty good for us?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>For so many of us, I fear the answer is yes. We fear the trouble it might bring. We fear the conversations it might cause. We fear the damage it might do to our friendships. So, we say nothing. We remain silent. We shy away from the tough conversations and we don’t dare say too much for fear of being labeled a certain way.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I’m sure Amos had the exact same thought process. He didn’t want to go tell the King that Israel would soon be overthrown and sent into exile. He knew that that was not the message that the King or the people would want to hear. Earlier in the book of Amos, he calls out the people for their wrongdoing. He proclaims that “justice will roll down like waters and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.” I’m guessing Amos wasn’t too popular at parties!<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> Yet, Amos still felt called to prophesy. He knew that it would make him unpopular. He knew that it would possibly result in him being kicked out of Israel. He knew that it would result in the loss of relationships. He did it, anyway. He took a chance and spoke out against the injustices he saw Israel committing. Amos, who as he admits, “was not a prophet or a prophet’s son”, still was willing to put his life and his reputation on the line to speak out against what he saw as wrong.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Recently, the Supreme Court of the United States of America made a ruling that lifted state bans on same gender marriage. While many across the US praised this ruling, there were plenty of people who were unhappy about it. Some even went so far as to say that God’s wrath would soon be raining down upon America for allowing this to happen. I’m not going to weigh in on the debate over whether or not the Supreme Court made the right decision. I’m not going to weigh in on whether or not I think God’s wrath is going to rain down upon us for allowing two people who love each other to get married legally.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Instead, I’d like to weigh in on the great outpouring of support I’ve seen from others about the decision. It warmed my heart to look at my Facebook news feed that Friday morning and see so many rainbow profiles and so many people expressing their affirmation that they were happy with the Supreme Court’s ruling. For some, I’m sure doing that took some real courage. I know I saw several people have to deal with ugly comments from their friends and family for expressing their support so openly. It can be tough to be that open about your feelings on an issue that is so controversial still. I especially felt bad for my queer friends, myself included, who had to deal with all kinds of ugly comments from their “friends” and family members. One friend of mine compared being gay to pedophilia while another thought it would be a good idea to share a post from conservative Christian Franklin Graham talking about how the Bible has already defined marriage as between a man and a woman. This same friend then didn’t take too kindly to me calling Franklin Graham a bigot and made it clear that there was no ill will intended by posting that. As if posting something so intentionally hurtful was done in a spirit of friendship.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yes, many of us took risks on that day. We posted about our joy over the ruling. We changed our profile pictures to express our support. We endured vicious, hateful attacks upon us from friends and family near and far. We risked friendships or in some cases ended them because we believed so strongly in the cause.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yet, in some sense, that was perhaps an easy battle to take on. Same gender marriage is now supported by the vast majority of the country so you are far less likely to encounter resistance to it if you post about it. While it is still courageous and bold to speak out about it and I don’t want anyone to think otherwise, in a sense it is somewhat “safe” to talk about. You aren’t risking as much by posting about it on social media as you are with certain other issues.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>It would be far more courageous, particularly as a white person, to talk about issues of race or racism. How many of us are openly willing to discuss the topic of race with our white friends and family members? How many of us are willing to have those hard conversations about all the ways that we have been complicit in racist policies and actions? How many of us are willing to put our lives and reputations on the line and risk our friendships to call others out and call them racists?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>What about our country? Are we willing to risk seeming unpatriotic for calling our nation out for its atrocities? Are we willing to declare that this nation has a lot of work to do before we can ever bother calling ourselves “Land of the free, home of the brave”? Are we speaking out against the injustices happening in Israel/Palestine and the ways that our country is complicit in it? Are we wiling to stand up against corporations and governments and declare that they need to clean up our air, stop polluting our waters and start being responsible for fixing the mess they’ve created?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Or, are we just too afraid or too complacent to bother with any of that? Are we instead willing to let others put their reputations on the line while we sit back and watch The Daily Show on our couches? Are we willing to do the hard but necessary work involved even if that might mean ending relationships that have lasted for decades?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The biblical witness is full of people doing just what we should be willing to do too. Amos is just one of many examples throughout the Bible of people who had the courage to speak up. Moses; Ruth; Esther; Jeremiah; Ezekiel; and let’s not forget that person we call Jesus. All people who risked their reputations (and in some cases, their lives) in order to speak out against the injustices being done against God’s people. Was this easy for them? No, it definitely wasn’t. Many of them even argued with God about it or tried to run away from it. Yet, in the end, they found themselves speaking out.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>If our Bible calls us to speak out and be brave, then why are we so unwilling to do it sometimes? Why aren’t we more open to calling others racists? Why aren’t we more willing to call our siblings homophobes and bigots? Why are we not shouting from every rooftop that America is the evil empire and that the way we are currently doing things isn’t benefiting anybody but the elites in society?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>We must be willing to follow the Biblical witness and be wiling to speak up. We must be willing to speak out. We must be willing to risk friendships and risk arguments with people we care about deeply. It is what our Christian faith calls us to do. It is what the Biblical witness tells us we must do. It is what those on the margins of society most need from us, someone to advocate for them and to stand in solidarity with them. We must do no less than be brave, be bold and have courage. In the words of President Franklin D. Roosevelt, “courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” Let us face our fears and speak out. Let us live into our Christian convictions and be brave. Let us be like Amos and be wiling to risk our reputations to call each other out on injustices. It is truly the only thing we can do in this life.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-4673011656276138752015-06-02T16:52:00.000-07:002015-06-02T16:52:17.414-07:00Take Me to Church? I graduated from seminary with my Masters in Divinity two weeks ago. So of course, the first obvious question is: what am I actually going to do post graduation? That's such a great question and one that I have been asked repeatedly for about the last month, hence this blog post. This is my attempt to let everyone know what exactly I will be up to for the next few months or more.<br />
<br />
I do have something lined up for the summer. Starting next Monday, June 8th, I will be starting a unit of what is referred to as Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). This is one of the last remaining requirements I have left for my ordination process and will be 10 weeks of intensive clinical self-examination and peer group meetings. Most people do their CPE units at a hospital. I'm taking a different route, however, and will be doing mine with the SF Night Ministry doing street chaplaincy with the homeless. This is a population that I am excited to work with and a population that I feel called to work with. I'm looking forward to reaching out to them and being a helping, pastoral presence in their lives. The unit will include leading Bible Studies, walking the streets at night and being a crisis line volunteer. There's a lot of other logistics of it that I still don't entirely know yet so I am looking forward to learning more about it this coming Monday when we have orientation. The only part I don't like is that CPE doesn't pay anything at all so I'm going to be living off what is left from my student loans this past semester. Money is going to be really tight for me this summer which is not ideal but I'm going to make it work. I've arranged to continue living on campus through the summer and have already moved into a cheaper apartment on campus that will save me some money.<br />
<br />
As for what's after the summer? That's still being figured out. Over the last few months, I've come to realise that I really want to stay in the Bay Area for a little while longer. My heart is here. My friends are here. My life is here so why leave? So, I've determined that I'm going to stay here and make it work for at least another year. Come next August, I'm going to re-assess and decide if I still feel called to stay here or if it is time for me to move on to a new adventure. I don't really see myself settling down anywhere for very long. I'm fortunate in that I have the freedom to do that. I don't have a mortgage, a partner or kids so I'm very open to going wherever I might feel called to go next. For right now, that's the Bay Area. The cost of living here is ridiculous and that is the part that is going to be the most difficult factor. Yet, I'm resourceful and can live on very little so I just have to be smart about it and I can make it work.<br />
<br />
So, what about jobs? You might think that since I have a Masters in Divinity now that I would be looking for church jobs. Well, you would be wrong. I've been realising that I really have been feeling burned out on church work, actually. It's really the only kind of work I've done and I think it would be good for me to experience other types of work before I commit myself fully to it. I'm really interested in trying something in the non-profit sector. I've never worked for a non-profit before and think it would be good for me to have some experience in that realm. I'm also looking at different types of chaplaincy positions because it wouldn't hurt to have that experience under my belt either. What I've realised about myself is that I love preaching. I love writing liturgy and crafting worship services. But I don't really love all the other aspects of church work. I think I'd be fine with doing something along the lines of guest preaching occasionally on a Sunday morning. That way, I get to do the preaching and liturgy writing that I love without all the other aspects of ministry that I don't.<br />
<br />
As for ordination, I'm still deciding if that is something I still want to pursue. I've come to realise that for me, it isn't the most important thing anymore. I don't have to have it to lead a successful, happy life. I'm going to be just fine if I never get ordained. I really will be. So, while I do plan on finishing up all the requirements for ordination, I can't say for sure that I'm going to actually get ordained. I just don't feel ready at the age of 30 to make such a major life decision, particularly one that stays with me for the rest of my life. If I get to the age of 40 and still want it, it will still be there for me.<br />
<br />
Ultimately, what I've realised is that I just want to be happy and be able to support myself. As long as both those criteria are fulfilled, I'm going to be just fine. I sincerely believe that a person is not their job. A person is a person and they just happen to have a job. So, whether I'm working at Starbucks or pastoring a church or working for a non-profit, I'm going to be just fine regardless because I'm still me, not the job. I think we tend to lose sight of that fact nowadays. I've got some promising job leads that I'm going to be pursuing over the course of the summer but even if I end up working at Barnes and Noble, that doesn't make me a failure or doesn't mean that I wasted the last four years of my life. I'm still a success. I'm still a person. I still have value. That's what I have come to realise over the course of the last few months.<br />
<br />
So, that's where things stand now. I've got housing and a job lined up for the summer and I'm going to be vigorously pursuing other jobs for the fall and other housing options. Here's hoping it all goes well and I get to stay here in the Bay Area for at least another year.thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-10742793736366752062015-04-24T15:02:00.000-07:002015-04-24T15:02:51.652-07:00How to Succeed in Seminary (Without Really Trying)Today, I was blessed to preach my senior sermon to my professors, colleagues, classmates and friends. It was truly an honor to be at the pulpit today. Here's the text of my sermon for those who weren't able to be there in person. Scripture texts are Exodus 4: 10 - 13 & Philippians 4: 8-13.<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>My name is Moses. I was called by God to deliver the Israelites out of Egypt and take them to a land where they would no longer be slaves. God asked me to do this in spite of the fact that I was in no way, shape or form qualified for the job. I had never held any type of important positions in any organization before that. I mean, when God spoke to me, I was a sheep herder for my father in law and a fugitive from justice. So, what in the world did I know about anything involving successfully leading people to do anything at all? Did I mention that I had a speech impediment and wasn’t exactly known for being a great orator? Yeah, good job God. You picked a real winner here!<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yet, God used me anyway. God made me a great orator. God helped me lead my people out of Israel and into the Promised Land. Sure, there were some speed bumps along the way. Pharaoh wasn’t too happy about letting us go and there was that whole roaming through the desert for 40 years debacle and don’t even get me started on that whole golden calf drama. Yeah, needless to say, it wasn’t always smooth sailing. Yet, in the end, it all worked out as you may have heard by now. The Israelites were freed from the land of Egypt and became a great and powerful nation. And it was, at least in part, thanks to my leadership. God used me to help deliver God’s people in spite of the fact that I wasn’t at all the right person for the job based on my prior history. I never saw myself as the type of person who would do all that I did. Somehow, God did though.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The Bible is full of characters like Moses, characters who at first glance you would never imagine would be remembered as important or essential or be seen as great leaders. Characters who if they existed today would have been written off by society as failures. You had Jacob, the liar. David, the adulterer. Abraham and Sarah, the infertile elderly couple. Rahab, the prostitute. And let’s not forget to add Jesus to this list. A man who in his 33 years of life led an unsuccessful attempt to challenge the status quo and was publicly humiliated, tortured and executed while his own followers either betrayed him, denied him or completely abandoned him. Not exactly what any of us would define as a success story, right?!<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I’m supposed to be preaching today about the topic of success. That is, after all, why I titled my sermon “How to Succeed in Seminary (Without Really Trying)”! Yet, I must confess something to you. I literally know absolutely nothing about this topic. You see, I’ve never succeeded at anything in my entire life. If you were to look up the word “failure” in the dictionary, you’d see my picture! Everything I’ve tried, I’ve been a failure at. I’ve never been any good at sports or mathematics or science or relationships or keeping a budget or taking care of myself or gaining weight or remembering to do things on my to do list or finding a job or sleeping. I’m not particularly clever or funny. I pretend to be much smarter than I actually am. I am 30 years old and yet I can barely tie my shoes. I never learned how to swim. I just recently learned that people actually floss their teeth and to top it all off, I can’t even make a grilled cheese sandwich successfully!<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>So, why in the world would I ever even pretend like I have anything to say at all about the topic of success? Where did I, someone who society would label a complete and total failure, get the idea that I can even possibly know at all what it means to succeed?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. Sounds great, doesn’t it? I have to confess this is perhaps my favorite verse in the entire Bible and I think many Christians would say the same thing. It is so empowering and so encouraging and so simplistic, isn't it? Yet, are Paul’s words actually true? Can we really do all things through Christ? What does that phrase even mean? Does it mean that all I have to do is believe in Jesus and I will pass that test? Or get that job? Or even get that mysterious third date with someone?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. Really? Can I now? Because as stated earlier, it sure doesn’t seem like I can. If that were indeed the case, my life would surely have been a whole lot easier and I would know what it looks like to succeed.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I think what Paul is intending to say here is that simply believing in Christ isn’t actually enough. You have to show your beliefs through your actions. “Whatever is true. Whatever is honorable. Whatever is just. Whatever is pure. Whatever is pleasing. Whatever is commendable.” Do those things and you really will be able to do all things. It is not enough to simply be a Christian. Anyone can do that. We have seen that plenty of times over the centuries. However, simply claiming the title of Christian means nothing if you aren’t willing to live into that label and do Christian things.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>So, without further ado, let me present exclusively “Tad’s Tips on How to Succeed in Seminary (or in Life) (Without Really Trying).” <br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Step 1: Love but more importantly allow yourself to be loved. Allow others to see you, the real you. Allow yourself to get close to others even when you know it might hurt because it will. When you are in the midst of a nervous breakdown because you failed yet another quiz, permit others to comfort you as you cry. When you feel as if your entire life is spiralling out of control and you don’t see any way out, call up someone and ask them to come sit with you as you eat ice cream and vent. Lastly, allow yourself to make friends, real, life-long friends. The kind of friends who will continue to be friends with you in spite of your many, many, many flaws or failures. The kind of friends who will still love you even after you make outrageous, outlandish statements in the middle of class about hating babies. Oh yes, they will continue to remind you about it for years afterward but they won’t let that stop them from loving you. That’s the first step to success.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Step 2: Don't be afraid to raise your voice and speak out. Speak out against the sins of homophobia, sexism, racism, classism, transphobia and other societal evils. Use your voice and don’t let anyone tell you that you have nothing important to say. If you have a problem with the way things are being done or if you feel like you’ve been wronged, speak up. Don’t believe the lie that the world may tell you that your voice isn’t necessary because you aren’t part of the dominant paradigm. That is precisely why your voice is so important. Our world needs to hear the voices of women, of queer people, of trans people, of African American, Asian, Latino and Latina people. Low income, no income, all those voices need to be heard and need to be shown respect. If I have learned nothing else from my time here, it is this very fact. You have a voice. You have a power. You have a chance to change the world. Take it, always.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Step 3: Do well but more importantly, do good. Get out into your communities and do something that helps others. Whether it be making dinner for the homeless, teaching Sunday School to children, babysitting, or any number of other things, don’t let yourself off the hook for getting involved. Our world needs more committed citizens like us out there in the streets: marching for marriage equality; protesting for women’s rights; lobbying for prison reform. It is part of our calling as Christians to help others. It is part of our calling as human beings to work to make a better system for others. It is part of our very essence to want to see others succeed. So, do it. Get out there and get in the streets. You won’t regret it, not even for a second.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Step 4: This is the final step. Give yourself permission to fail. Yes, I did just say that one of the steps to success is to fail. Perhaps that sounds counter-intuitive, maybe even counter-cultural. However, it means you have the freedom to not put so much pressure on yourself. Here’s a simple fact that I absolutely hate to admit publicly. You can’t do everything. You especially can’t do everything well. Thus, give yourself permission to drop the ball or fail or let someone down. It is going to happen and that is ok. It may happen multiple times over the course of your life. That is ok too. You won’t like it. You may feel like a complete and total loser. You aren’t. Not even for one second. Just because you fail in certain aspects of your life doesn’t make you a failure at life. Take it from someone who knows, a scrawny nerdy gay kid from Texas with learning disabilities and a speech impediment. Take it from NBA legend Michael Jordan who once said, “ I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” Take it from the Biblical narrative. God still used Moses, a murderer and a fugitive with a speech impediment and made him leader of the Israelites. God still used David and Rahab and Abraham and Noah and many other “failures” to achieve God’s plan for humanity. If God can use them, in spite of their failings, doesn’t it make sense that God can use you and me too?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>So, those are my four tips on how to succeed in seminary without really trying. But wait, you are saying to yourself. Those are all great pieces of advice but none of them will help me achieve an A on my Theology test or help me write my final papers. What gives? I want to know how to succeed academically. I thought that was what you were going to tell us. You are correct, nothing I told you will help you succeed academically or guarantee that you make all As. Making good grades isn’t a bad thing but it isn’t a true measure of success. What will matter? That you loved and were loved. That you spoke up and raised your voice. That you did good in your communities and your world. That you gave yourself permission to fail. That’s the true measure of success. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. Now, we have to actually go and do. In Christ’s name, AMEN.thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-85474140234936017312015-03-19T13:59:00.001-07:002015-03-19T13:59:38.632-07:00The Kids Are Alright?I am participating in the UncoSynchro blog, a writing collaborative effort from #UNCO, focusing on subversive themes of faith and life. The theme for March is (un)Lucky.<br />
<br />
Disclaimer: this blog post is in no way intended to criticize, shame or otherwise denigrate those who have made a different life choice than me. It is simply intended to give my thoughts on the matter.<br />
<br />
I want to write today about a topic that has been on my mind for many years now: the subject of kids. For a long time, I really did genuinely believe that I wanted kids. I thought that that was something I wanted and thought I would make a great dad someday.<br />
<br />
Yet, I've come to think slightly differently on the matter. I've been giving it a lot of thought and I've realised that having kids isn't as important to me as I once thought it to be. I think I've realised that if I never have kids, that's ok. Not everyone has to have children. Not everyone has to make that choice. That doesn't mean that I've somehow failed or that I've been unlucky. That also doesn't mean that my life is somehow less fulfilling if I haven't had kids.<br />
<br />
That's a phrase that really gets under my skin: this idea that people who don't have children are somehow less fulfilled or less satisfied with life. That's quite frankly, incredibly insulting and ignorant to say to someone. You can have just as fulfilling and just as successful a life if you never have children as someone who has. It just means that you put your centre of value into something else besides your children. It could be your career or your volunteer work or your partner or your friends or your pets or something else entirely. Any number of things can bring you fulfilment or joy, it doesn't have to be children.<br />
<br />
Also, can we please not look down on people who don't have kids and feel sorry for them? Again, insulting and degrading. You don't know all their life circumstances that have led to them not having children. For me personally, I just don't see the appeal or the point really. I recently went through and made a pro/con list of all the reasons to have or not have children and honestly, the cons won out. This doesn't mean that having children is a bad thing or the wrong choice. I want to validate those people who have had children and let you know that I support your decision and the reasons why you made it (whether or not it was intentional).<br />
<br />
For me, though, I just don't see the appeal. Having kids can be a real burden and a real pain and I don't see a reason to sign up for that. Plus, I love to travel and I know that that would probably not be able to continue if I have children (or at least not to the extent that I would like it to). There's also the fact that you lose a piece of your identity when you have children. You no longer are yourself. Instead, you become "Jacob's daddy" or "Susie's mommy" or simply just "Daddy". For me, as someone who's struggled with identity issues my whole life, having to give up a part of my identity has zero appeal for me. Not to mention the fact that I would never get to sleep in again and as someone with insomnia, I crave being able to sleep in! And there's also the fact that your time is not yours anymore. Your days become all about your kids and their schedules and their needs and it stops becoming about you.<br />
<br />
So, are those selfish reasons to not have children? Perhaps but isn't it also just a little bit for selfish reasons that people have children anyway? There's a need to care for something. There's a need to have your legacy preserved. There's a need to have that identity or status that being a parent gives you. I'm not saying that those are bad reasons to want kids. Not at all. What I am saying is that they are, in a sense, selfish reasons. So, it is selfish to want kids and selfish to not want kids.<br />
<br />
Here's my somewhat rambling point of all this. Not having kids doesn't mean that I'm somehow unlucky or haven't been successful in life. I'd like to think that when I get to the end of my life, I will look back with pride on my accomplishments even if they don't include children. I'd like to believe that irregardless of having children or not, I will still feel like my life has been blessed and that I've led a pretty lucky life. I'd like to think that my choice to not have children will be respected and appreciated by society and by my friends. For the longest time, I was bowing to societal pressure to want kids. Now, I'm choosing to go against the grain and declare that it really doesn't matter to me if I never have children. I'm going to be ok either way. At the end, what really matters is whether or not I've made a difference in the world and whether or not I've been loved and have loved. That can come in a myriad of other ways besides children.<br />
<br />
I think I'm a pretty lucky guy, even without the kids. And I think that will continue to be the case even if the children never happen. The kids will be alright and so will I!<br />
<br />thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-27152719871330225272015-02-14T11:59:00.002-08:002015-02-14T11:59:57.419-08:00All About that Treble?I am participating in the UncoSynchro blog, a writing collaborative effort from #UNCO, focusing on subversive themes of faith and life. The theme for February is (un)Loved.<br />
<br />
It's Valentine's Day, a day I hate more than almost any other day. Thus, I felt it necessary to write a blog post about everyone's favourite subject, self-love. The following represent my thoughts on a subject that is highly personal to me and one that is also highly charged.<br />
<br />
"You're too skinny"<br />
"Are you anorexic?"<br />
"You just need to eat more. That will put the weight on ya!"<br />
"Have you tried working out? Lift some weights, it will do wonders for you."<br />
"Come over to my house and I'll fatten you up in no time."<br />
<br />
These are all comments I've received over the years from people who mean well. I admit it, I'm skinny. For those of you who've only read my blog and have never actually met me in person, let me paint the picture for you. I'm 5 ft 9.5 inches tall. I weigh maybe 130 pounds if I'm lucky. I have zero body fat and my metabolism is super fast meaning that I can't gain weight even when I try. I know what you're thinking. "He's so lucky. I'd love to have that problem. I'll gladly give him some of my weight."<br />
<br />
Yeah, I've heard that one before too. How it must be so great to eat as much as I want and not gain a pound. Or how lucky I am that I'm not overweight and have to worry about health problems that come from that. I've heard pretty much every comment a person can hear about my weight. I know people mean well. I know those comments aren't meant to be hurtful. Most of the time, I am able to laugh it off and smile.<br />
<br />
However, I don't think people realise how hurtful their comments can be sometimes. I've struggled with body image issues my whole life. I got called anorexic every single day of high school because I weighed less than 100 pounds the whole way through high school and people thought for sure I must be anorexic or something. For the record, I've never had any sort of eating disorder and I do in fact like to eat. I eat at least 2 meals a day, sometimes 3 and I snack constantly. The idea of intentionally skipping a meal or intentionally throwing it up after eating it has zero appeal to me. So, you don't need to worry. I'm eating. That's one thing I'm really good at: eating.<br />
<br />
I've made peace with the way I look, mostly. Do I have times when I wish I was fatter or had more curves or had a six pack? Yes, yes I do. Somedays I look in the mirror and I'm really disgusted by what I see. I think our culture glamorises and idolises thinness to an unhealthy degree. We demonize fat people and call them lazy. However, that also means that we sometimes don't think about the fact that thin people can also struggle with body image. Yes, I'm skinny but it's not the "good" kind of skinny. I'm too skinny (whatever that might mean). I look like I haven't eaten in days or like I'm starving myself.<br />
<br />
I'm trying to get to a place where I can love myself, all my non curves and non edges. Self-love is actually the hardest kind of love there is. It requires you to accept the fact that you are the way you are and that that isn't likely to change anytime soon. It requires you to quiet all the voices in your head that tell you that you are too skinny or that maybe you should be anorexic since everyone thinks you are anyway. It is not helped by well meaning voices telling me to eat more or work out more or offering to fatten me up. What those comments are really implying is that I'm not good enough as I am and that my current weight is unacceptable to those people. That doesn't make the task of loving myself very easy.<br />
<br />
We need to think about the way we speak to each other and we need to be careful that our comments never imply that the other person isn't perfect the way they are. What I want more than anything is for others to affirm that the way I am is great and beautiful and worthy of being loved and that I don't need to do a thing to change it. I currently weigh the most I have ever weighed in my entire life. It is very possible that I will stay this weight for several more years, even decades. I want to be okay with that fact. I want to accept the fact that I weigh what I weigh and that is good enough. But then, somebody else says something like, "we need to fatten you up" and I realise that I'm not ok with it.<br />
<br />
On this Valentine's Day, a day when we recognize and celebrate love, let us begin with self-love. Let us love ourselves as we are and not be so quick to try and change it. Let us love the bodies we were born with. Ok, so I don't have a six pack and I don't have muscles and I don't look like a male model. That's ok. I don't need to. I look like myself and that's good enough, don't you think?thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-19140152232025827772015-01-18T12:00:00.003-08:002015-01-18T12:00:50.755-08:00You Can't Stop the BeatHere's the sermon I preached this morning at my church. Scripture text is Philemon 1: 8-21<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>My name is Onesimus. Perhaps you’ve heard of me? I’m mentioned several times in your Holy Book but only in one portion. The letter that Paul wrote to my master, Philemon. Paul says that he has met me and that he has converted me to his faith and that now he is sending me back to my master with the hope that my master will do the right thing and set me free as a favor to him. <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>What I find so interesting about Paul’s letter to my master is that not once does Paul ever ask me what I want. My voice is left completely out of the story and my silence is never once accounted for. Did Paul even think to ask me whether or not I wanted to return to my master? Did he think to ask me if I might rather have been seeking him out as a way to get away from my master? Did Paul bother to even consult me about what I thought my ultimate fate should be? No, he didn’t. My voice wasn’t considered important or interesting or necessary to Paul or to Philemon. Just like so many other characters in your Holy Book, I am left voiceless with no one to come to my defense and stand up for me. Who will speak for me? Who will stand up for me? Who will give me my voice back? <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Onesimus has been silenced in the Bible. His voice and his interests are left completely out. He is just another nameless, faceless, speechless character whose own interests aren’t considered important or necessary or good. Yet, those were biblical times. Things were different then. We don’t still do that now, do we? We give everyone a voice and everyone a say, don't we?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Trayvon Martin. Oscar Grant. Michael Brown. Eric Garner. Sound familiar? These four men were all shot dead over the last few years because of the color of their skin. Their voices were silenced. Their voices weren’t considered important. Their voices were considered less worthy of attention and focus than their white assailants. Since their deaths, there have been attempts by the public and the media to paint some or all of them as “thugs” or “criminals” or some other such label that would somehow justify them being shot dead. As if it is somehow more socially acceptable to kill someone if they are a thug than it is if they aren’t. Their deaths have inspired protests and have also created the “Black Lives Matter” motto on social media.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>More importantly, their deaths have sparked conversations all over the country about issues of race and racism. It has forced many white people to confront their own internal prejudices and biases toward their black brothers and sisters. It has also exposed the inherent racism that exists in our justice system as so far not a single indictment has come down for the white men who killed these black men.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Tomorrow, we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day, a national holiday in which we are asked to remember the legacy of Dr. King, a man who worked so tirelessly for so long to help the Black voice be heard and be considered important. We are almost fifty years out from his assassination and it sadly doesn’t look like we are any closer to realizing his vision of living in a society where we really do believe that the black voice matters and shouldn’t be silenced.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> It is absolutely vital that more white people speak up about this issue and stand in solidarity with their black brothers and sisters. Since we are the ones who perpetuate the racist system, we are also the ones who have the power to stop it. We can take action against the systems that perpetuate racism. We can stand up against racism and declare that the status quo isn’t benefiting all. We can even work to enact new laws that will ensure that our black brothers and sisters are given a more equal footing in society.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>We can be the ones who demand that the black voices no longer be silenced. We can stand up and declare that the deaths of Trayvon, Eric, Oscar and Michael do matter and that their voices were silenced just like Onesimus’. We have to be the ones who demand that they be heard and that justice prevail. We can give Onesimus his voice back. We can demand that he be given a chance to speak his truth, his experience and his life. We can do the same for all the black people in our own lives whose voices have been silenced. I hear the cries of Trayvon & Michael and I hear the protests in places like Ferguson and New York City. As a white person, I admit my own complicity in the silencing of black voices and in the attempts to slander them and keep them oppressed.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>So, I’ve identified the trouble with the text: the fact that Onesimus is silent. What about the grace then? What words of hope does this text have to say to a world troubled by Trayvon & Eric & Michael & Oscar? What does this text say to us that we can use to better engage with our black brothers and sisters and be a part of the solution, not the problem? It comes through Paul’s words that Onesimus was his beloved brother in Christ and thus Paul didn’t see him as a slave anymore. Through Christ Jesus, we are all united. We are Trayvon Martin. We are Eric Garner. We are Michael Brown & Oscar Grant and the many other nameless, faceless, silent black men who have been killed. This is the hope that white people can provide. A hope that one day, our system will support and uplift black bodies, not destroy them.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>As Martin Luther King says, though, in his Letter From A Birmingham Jail, “Justice delayed is justice denied.” Thus, while we can provide hope, hope won’t be enough. While we continue to sit by and wait for a day when racism will end, more black people will die or be the victims of our racist policies. So, yes, hope is great but hope won’t prevent people like Michael Brown from being killed.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>We have to be more than the hope then. We have to be the agents of change. Change is coming. You can’t stop the beat of history as it marches forward toward a new day. Let’s help make that new day today. Let’s be that change. Let’s be aware of our own privilege and use it to help, not hurt. Change won’t come about if we hope for it. We have to actively work for it, for the good of our black brothers and sisters. We have to fight for it, with them, not against them. It is up to us to begin the hard work of dismantling the systems of privilege that keep oppressing black people. It is up to us to vote for elected officials that will represent those voices that are silenced. It is up to us to stand up and speak out against racism in our culture and our world. It is up to us to do this hard and difficult yet necessary work. Onesimus won’t be kept silent anymore. Michael Brown won’t be kept silent anymore. Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin, Oscar Grant won’t be kept silent anymore. Their voices are rising up, out of the pages of history. Out of the pages of the Bible. Out of the pages that tell them that they should stay silent and stay oppressed. Do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of revolution. That’s the sound of their voices. That’s the sound of change. It’s coming. The only question that remains: are you going to join in or stay on the sidelines?<br />
<br />thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-9315587393831602482015-01-01T19:17:00.000-08:002015-01-01T19:17:11.894-08:00A Year Without A White Man I want to take some time to write to all of you about a project I took on this past year and the many ways it expanded my worldview. This past January 1, I decided to take on a rather unique and unusual reading project. I love to read. I've been a bookworm for as far back as I can remember. However, I haven't always done a good job of reading outside my comfort zone or reading about other cultures. Thus, I gave myself a challenge: that I would only read books written by non-white men. I did this partly because I think that white men have had enough of a voice in our culture and I wanted to give other voices a chance to speak up. I also did it as a way to confront my own internalized racism. I realized when deciding to begin this project that the vast majority of my own favorite authors or favorite books are written by white men. While I don't mean to denigrate or deny their own marvelous writing abilities, I was aware that I needed to branch out and read books by some non-white men. Instead, I focused exclusively on historically oppressed groups. I would like to add the caveat that I did still read books by white women. This was because I wanted to include all the various ways that women, even white ones, are still systemically oppressed in our society. However, of the 46 books I read this past year, the vast majority were written by people of color.<br />
So, what did I learn from doing this project and how did it open my eyes? A big takeaway for me is just how institutionalized and systemic racism really is. Through reading books like Americanah (Chimamanda Adichie); Roots (Alex Haley) and 12 Years a Slave (Solomon Northrup), I was exposed to the ways in which my white culture has made racism a part of every system and how far back it really goes. I confess to having a much different view of slavery and even racism before hand. My history textbooks growing up gave the image that slavery wasn't as bad as it might have been portrayed. They portrayed the idea that most slaves preferred slavery over being free and were indeed happy with their lot. I realize now just how racist and awful an idea that is to even think but before reading Roots or 12 Years a Slave, it had never occurred to me to re-think this. As a white person, I've come to realize just how little I had actually ever thought about race mainly because it doesn't affect me. I even remember thinking to myself how this project sounded very racist to take on because isn't it racist against white people to not read them for an entire year? My whiteness protects me and gives me a level of privilege that people of color don't have access to no matter their financial resources or education or ability. The books I read this year helped me see just how hard it is to be a person of color in America.<br />
Through reading 100 Years of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez); And the Mountains Echoed (Khaled Hosseini) and the House of the Spirits (Isabel Allende), I was exposed to what life is like for those who live in other countries. It gave me a new global perspective.<br />
It also gave me the opportunity to finally read some books by authors who are well-established and critically acclaimed but who I had never read before for some reason. I finally had a chance to read Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye, Beloved); Alice Walker (The Color Purple); Maya Angelou (I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings); Chinua Achebe (Things Fall Apart); Jhumpa Lahiri (The Namesake) and Ralph Ellison (Invisible Man). Somehow, I had never before read any of these authors and they completely expanded my reading abilities and my worldview.<br />
What were the best books I read this year? I have to admit, not every book I read this year was that great. That's ok. I didn't go into this thinking they all would be. I knew there would be some books I'd read that would be less than awesome. However, there were definitely some that stood out to me as being excellent works. Redefining Realness by Janet Mock was an incredible book for me to read this year. Mock is an African-American transgender woman who writes about her experience growing up as a boy and then realizing that she was actually a woman and then deciding to go through with transitioning. It is a powerful story about what it is like to be transgender, black and a woman in the United States. Definitely highly recommended for anyone who wants to know more about that experience. The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri was a powerful story about the immigrant experience in America. Also highly recommended. I can't say enough good things about the Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie. He writes about his experience growing up as a Native American and choosing to attend school off of his reservation. A powerful look at how white culture has supplanted and made shameful Native American culture. I read two Khaled Hosseini novels this year (And the Mountains Echoed and A Thousand Splendid Suns). Both were great but incredibly devastating reads. He really paints a vivid picture of what Afghani life is like both pre and post Taliban. I can't stop thinking about The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende. Such a strong, vivid prose style that has stuck with me even now almost a year after reading it.<br />
I had my eyes opened to the many ways that being a minority can be hard. It can feel shameful or lonely or isolating. It can even be dangerous. I won't say that I was completely unaware of this before but it became clearer to me through the works I read this past year. Some of these books were quite difficult to read and I had to force myself to get through them. Some of them contained extremely graphic sexual acts of violence, particularly against children. Not exactly pleasure reading. Some of them made me feel so incredibly ashamed of my whiteness and the fact that my ancestors did such terrible things to an entire group of people. Some even forced me to acknowledge my inner racism. That was the hardest part of this project: acknowledging that even as a somewhat enlightened, highly educated queer person that I am still guilty of racism in some ways. I still have racist thoughts or racist tendencies. I admit that. What this project did was bring them to light and help me be willing to acknowledge them to myself.<br />
Now, that we've hit a new year, I've come to the end of my year long project. I'm looking forward to being able to read some Charles Dickens and John Green and Orson Scott Card again, three authors I had been particularly missing reading over the last year. However, I'm also going to be more intentional about seeking out and reading more books by people of color. I've got a good place to start after this past year with several authors that I really want to read more from. Perhaps I'll even be willing to admit some of them into my hard to crack list of favorite authors or favorite books! I'd encourage everyone to take on a project similar to this in your own lives. If you aren't a reader, maybe try it with something else you enjoy. Maybe only watch TV shows or movies starring or written by people of color? Perhaps only cook foods that are enjoyed in countries other than America? Travel someplace where you are likely to be the minority? Whatever you do, you owe it to yourself to do it. It will enrich your life in so many ways, I promise you. I can't believe I waited so long to discover so many of these authors but now that I have I'm very excited to see what else they have in store for me!thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-61812389244414242982014-11-20T21:13:00.003-08:002014-11-20T21:13:40.991-08:00Counting Our (Un)Blessings!I am participating in the UncoSynchro blog, a writing collaborative effort from #Unco14, focusing on subversive themes of faith and life. The theme for November is (Un)Gratitude. This is my first entry for the UncoSynchro blog, and I will participate monthly.<br />
<br />
In this season of gratitude and a time in which we give thanks for all the good things in our lives, I think we too often don't acknowledge or hide the not-so-good things in our lives. We focus on all we have and conveniently (for one month at least) forget about all the things that aren't. In an attempt to change the conversation, this post represents my attempt to take stock of all the many things in my life and in the larger world that I am not grateful for. If you don't want to read about this topic and think that I'm being a terrible person or negative Nancy for even mentioning these things, that's fine. I invite you to move on and ignore this post. However, I think there are some of you who could use this and so I write this for all those who don't always want to be told to be grateful for what they have.<br />
<br />
I'm Not Grateful: That I will be spending yet another holiday season without a special someone in my life. I mean, really? Again? Why do I seem to suck so much at this one particular aspect of my life? I'm thriving in all other areas of my life so why not this one? Does my special someone even exist? Am I a leper? Am I so completely undesirable that no one could even stand the thought of being with me for longer than two dates? I'm so over this dating game shenanigans. I'd love to just once have a special someone to spend the holidays with. This whole being single during the holidays thing is so over-rated.<br />
<br />
I'm Not Grateful: That my dad died when I was 19 years old. He never got to see me become the amazing man I am now. He never got to see me mature or graduate from college. He will never get to be a part of my wedding day (if I do meet someone to marry). He will never meet any kids I someday have. I'm ungrateful that he had to die when I was still too young to really appreciate him fully. I really wish he were still here. I miss having a dad in my life. I miss having that special connection with someone who never let me forget that he loved me. I really wish I could call him up next week and wish him a Happy Thanksgiving. The fact that I can't ever do that again makes me really ungrateful and really angry.<br />
<br />
I'm Not Grateful: That I never really knew my grandparents. I was a late in life child and my grandparents were pretty old when I came around and lived on the other end of the country. They all died when I was young. Thus, I never really got to have any type of significant relationship with them. I'm so jealous of my friends who have great relationships with their grandparents and can tell stories of summers spent with them and time spent learning from their wisdom. I never had that. I wish I had. I have almost no memory of any of my grandparents and that makes me very bitter and very ungrateful.<br />
<br />
I'm Not Grateful: That there will still be hungry people on the day after Thanksgiving. Despite however many of us spend at least part of our Thanksgiving at a soup kitchen feeding the hungry, there will still be hungry people. Why? Our world produces enough food every single day for every single person on the planet to have more than enough food to eat every single day. So, why are there hungry people then? No one should have to go hungry, not in a world of plenty. I guess I just don't understand why we allow this system to continue. Maybe I'm just being naive but it seems like feeding everyone would benefit everyone. While you consume your pumpkin pie and your fifth piece of turkey this Thanksgiving, remember all those who would love just to have the crumbs off your pie.<br />
<br />
I'm Not Grateful: That 40% of homeless youth are LGBTQ. Yes, really, 40% of the youth that are homeless consider themselves part of the LGBTQ alliance. Why isn't this addressed more? Don't get me wrong, it makes me so happy to see more and more states finally allow marriage equality but what about all the other issues that aren't about marriage equality but affect the LGBTQ community? I worked with homeless youth in Chicago. It was hard work. It's what inspired me to go to seminary. It made me angry that any of them were homeless. Let's address this issue NOW. Let's help get these youths off the streets and into some type of permanent housing situations. Let's work to keep them safe, find them jobs and help them with their bills so they can afford to stay off the streets. Most importantly, let's work to enact laws that will protect them from harassment. They deserve that.<br />
<br />
I'm Not Grateful: That we still cannot seem to have a real, actual conversation about the horrible state of mental health care in our country. I thought and hoped that the death of Robin Williams might have finally been the impetus we needed to have a dialogue about the terrible state of our mental health care in this country. It doesn't seem to have done anything, though. We need to actually have a conversation and begin the process of doing something to address the very real issue of mental health. I say this as someone who deals with mental illness every day and would love to be able to get some better mental health care for myself and for all the others who need it so desperately. This is an issue that affects all of us and it needs to be addressed.<br />
<br />
I'm Not Grateful: That we've had over 70 school shootings since Newtown, CT and yet we can't seem to get any sort of gun legislation passed. Our children are literally dying and yet we don't seem to care enough to do anything about it.<br />
<br />
I'm Not Grateful: That we are all expected to be cheery and merry and full of joy during the holidays. Not all of us feel that way about the holidays. Many people dread them. Some just downright hate them. Yet, we are still expected to smile and put on a happy face and be cheerful even when all we want to do is cry and rant. Just let us have our time away from the holly and the jolly. And for the record, I love the holidays but I resent being told that I have to always be happy or jolly during them. Sometimes, I don't want to be and I want that choice to be respected.<br />
<br />
I'm Not Grateful: That I spent so many years hiding who I really was from people and not allowing people to know the real me. My life has improved so much in the five years since coming out of the closet. I really wish I'd done it sooner. I feel like I missed out on so much by staying closeted for so long and that my friends didn't get to know the real me.<br />
<br />
There's plenty more things that I'm ungrateful for but that seems to be enough for one post. What are some things you're ungrateful for this holiday season?thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-37532725309308162002014-08-17T13:43:00.000-07:002014-08-17T13:43:17.627-07:00Give Me Something to Sing About!<br />
Diclaimer: What I write about here is very sensitive, very personal information. It is not something that I share lightly or share looking for sympathy. I share all this because I believe it is time to be completely honest and open about who I am. It is time to quit hiding. Also, I want to add that the experiences I relate here are mine and that I do not claim to speak for anyone else even in places where I use plural pronouns. My story is not everyone's story. It is mine alone. With that being said, please read below.<br />
<br />
Actor/comedian/entertainer Robin Williams died earlier this week by taking his own life. His death shocked and saddened many. What so many found shocking was that it was so hard to believe that someone as well-loved and well-liked and respected and funny as Williams would do that. He seemed to have it all together. How could he do that? Why would he do that?<br />
<br />
I can tell you why. You see, I have struggled with many of the very same demons that Williams himself battled. His death shook me up because it made me realize just how deadly depression can be. I've battled depression for years now. It's something I've learned to live with and have accepted the fact that it is something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. I think I've written on here before somewhat about it but this post is intended to be my full, honest account of what I struggle with every day. It is intended to put a human face on it and to show that depression doesn't discriminate. Even those of us who seem so put-together and so care free can still be fighting a terrible internal battle.<br />
<br />
I think I first started dealing with depression when I was in middle school. I can't really remember specific instances but I just felt such a deep sadness in my body. I also started hearing voices in my head. Voices that told me that I was worthless and would never amount to anything and that nobody loved me and nobody would ever love me. Voices that said that the people in my life would be better off if I wasn't still around. Those voices were always there, every single day. Sometimes they were quiet and I was able to get through an entire day without hearing them. Other days, they wouldn't shut up and I would be pestered by them all day. My teenage years were rough. I dealt with a lot of self-loathing and self shame. Some of this was due to the extreme verbal abuse I was receiving from outside forces but some of it was also my depression making itself manifest and telling me that I didn't deserve to live. At my darkest and lowest points, suicide seemed like a great and viable option. It would free me from my torment and it would relieve my suffering and misery. I came very close to killing myself on a couple different occasions. I really can't say why I didn't do it. To this day, I'm unsure. Something always stopped me. Still, the belief that I wasn't worth much always was there, preventing me from fully enjoying my life.<br />
<br />
I want to address something here that I have seen come up over and over in the national debate about suicide that has been happening this week. I've seen several people call Mr. Williams selfish for taking his own life. Over the years, I've heard that repeated over and over that people who commit suicide are selfish. For a long time, I even believed that myself and that may be why I didn't do it. However, I've been thinking back on those times when I got so depressed that suicide seemed like a viable option. I have to say that at the time, I wasn't at all thinking of it as a selfish act. To me, it seemed like a selfless one. I felt like such a terrible burden to my family and friends that I honestly believed that they would be better off if they didn't have to deal with me. I wasn't very popular and had very few friends and the friends that I did have I wasn't very close with anyway so I honestly didn't feel like anyone would miss me regardless. I felt their lives would be better off if I wasn't a part of them anymore. I would no longer be a burden to anybody ever again. So, again, suicide felt like a self-less not selfish choice.When you are in that deep a spiral of depression, you lose your ability to think logically sometimes. Suicide can seem like a good option then. It can seem like the only option. It can seem like the self-less option.<br />
<br />
Do I wish I didn't have to battle with this every day? Yes, I really do. You can't pray it away or wish it away though. You can only live with it and deal with it in the best way possible, whether that be through medication or therapy or something else. I never know when my depression is going to hit. It can come at any time and stay for as long as it needs to. I don't get to control it or tell it when it is allowed to visit. It sets the agenda. That's the most frustrating part. I can wake up one morning and be completely depressed and there can literally be no reason at all for me to be depressed. I can be completely miserable even though things in my life are going great. The voices in my head tell me that even though I have amazing, supportive friends and am going into a career that I have excitement about and am thriving at school and enjoying life, that none of it is good enough or that I don't deserve it or that it is all an illusion and will be gone in just the blink of an eye. The voices in my head tell me that I should be miserable, not happy. It's messed up, I get it. Believe me, I wish it wasn't this way.<br />
<br />
I don't always tell people when I'm feeling depressed. I hide it pretty well. I don't like dealing with all the attention or the questions or the probing that telling people would involve. I have social anxiety disorder and Asperger's so being the center of attention is really difficult for me. This is also why I don't always tell someone when I'm feeling suicidal. I don't want to deal with all the attention and exposure that would bring me. Sometimes, I don't want to talk. I just want to be left alone to cry or feel sad in peace. This is why I take some issue with the whole "if you need help, get it" mentality. I don't always want to ask for help because of the attention it will bring me. I don't want to deal with all the questions or scrutiny or probing that will come about if I tell anyone I'm suicidal. Plus, what if word were to get out publicly to all my friends and family? I would feel so ashamed and so embarrassed and even humiliated and that is not something I want to be put through. That is guaranteed to make me feel much worse, not better. Instead of putting the onus on the person suffering, how about others around that person reach out to them instead? Look them in the eyes and ask them how they are doing. Be sincere with them. Maybe they still won't tell you. That's ok. Don't demand that they do. Don't shame them into telling you something that personal and private. Also, keep in mind that even if you do tell them that they are loved, that they may not believe you. I don't always. Doesn't matter who tells me. The voices in my head say otherwise. They say that that person is lying or just being nice or polite. How could anybody love me, a messed up screwup of a person who can't do anything right? These are the things that they tell me sometimes. These are the things that I live with.<br />
<br />
Can I say with 100% certainty that I won't ever be suicidal or try to take my life again? No, I can't. I wish I could but I can't predict the future. I can't predict just how bad things might get for me someday or how bleak things might seem or what the voices inside my head will tell me. I hope I don't get to that point ever again. I certainly don't plan to. I plan to live a long, healthy life and die an old man surrounded by my loved ones. However, I also have to be realistic here and just admit that I can't say with any degree of certainty what might happen to me in the future. Am I ok now? Yes, I am actually. It's been a few months since my depression last hit. I'm feeling good at this point in my life and hope those feelings continue for a long while. Do you need to be worried about me? If you want to be, sure. Know that I do go to therapy and that my therapist has been really great at helping me mute the voices in my head. She might literally save my life someday. However, no method is 100% effective so there's no guarantee that I will be ok even with therapy. My depression can come back at any moment.<br />
<br />
I think what I want to close this with is just a reminder to be kind to everyone. You don't know what type of battle they are fighting. We all are fighting some type of battle. The only difference is the combatant. I will also say that unless you yourself have battled with depression you don't get to judge those of us who do. Don't tell us that our problems are trivial and that there are starving children in Africa so what do we have to be depressed about anyway? That doesn't help. That trivializes my problems and insults me and my intelligence. Yes, I know there are starving children in Africa and people being blown up in Gaza and murders happening in Chicago. I know all that. That doesn't mean that my problems aren't real or aren't important or aren't worthy of attention. Treat me with kindness, not hostility. Treat everyone with kindness. Be gentle. Be supportive. Be a friend. Don't take offense if we have a hard time believing you when we say you care about us. We know you do. Our depression wants us to believe otherwise. The voices in my head tell me otherwise. Why would you want to be friends with me? Why would you care about me? Don't you know how messed up I am? You should stay away at your own risk so I don't become a burden to you later on. Get out now while you still can.<br />
<br />
Like I said in the disclaimer, I didn't share this hoping to get attention or to elicit sympathy. I simply wanted to be more open and honest with everyone who happens to read this, whoever you might be. I wanted to put a human face on this illness that so many people struggle with on a daily basis. Just know that even if you see me laughing and smiling and making up a spontaneous song and dance routine that I just might be crying on the inside and may not even be able to tell you why.thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-936369593395419502014-08-03T12:06:00.000-07:002014-08-03T12:09:20.221-07:00We Are Each Other's AngelsToday, I was blessed to preach at the church that raised me. It was an honor and privilege to be among them today. The service went great and people loved hearing what I had to say. For those of you who couldn't physically be there, here's the text of my sermon. Hope it brings you some comfort during these turbulent times. Scripture texts were Micah 4: 1-4 and Matthew 5: 7-12<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>My name is Javier. I am 10 years old and I am from the country of El Salvador. El Salvador is a country that has been wracked by violence and bloodshed for over 30 years now. Many of my friends have lost relatives due to the extreme violence. My own parents were murdered just last week. I was told that I needed to get out of El Salvador and head north to the United States, where I would be kept safe and free from violence. Instead, I’m being kept back at the border and told that because I’m an immigrant, I’m not welcome in this country. I thought the United States was a land where immigrants could come and be free and safe from their own countries. Now, I have men at the border pointing their guns at me and threatening to kill me if I attempt to cross.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>My name is Kat. I am 22 years old. Last year, I came out to my parents as bisexual. They didn’t take the news well. In fact, they kicked me out of the house and told me I was not welcome to come back. Now, I’m homeless and forced to live on the streets. Did I mention I’m from Chicago, a city that is supposedly progressive and inclusive? How could this have happened then to me? Why don’t my parents love me for who I am? How could they do this to their own daughter? Why am I forced to live on the streets? It gets cold here in Chicago in the winter and I am forced to find some sort of shelter during those months. Last month, I was verbally harassed by a police officer. Two weeks ago, I was sexually assaulted by a man who thought that because I was homeless, it meant I didn’t mind being taken advantage of. No one should have to live like this. No one.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>My name is Jonas. I’m 15 years old. Last month, my best friend was shot dead in another school shooting in another town in the United States. He was one of 15 victims. What’s sad is how little press coverage his death got. School shootings are so commonplace now that nobody really even bothers to report on them anymore. They have become just another fact of life. It saddens me that the life of my best friend and my other classmates weren’t worthy of being mentioned on the evening news, as if their lives weren’t important enough to warrant coverage. Why did this happen here? Why does this happen anywhere? Why are the lives of our citizens not worth more to our politicians and lawmakers? Why is my best friend dead and no one is being held accountable?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The stories you just heard are, in part at least, fictional. Javier, Kat and Jonas are just characters I made up in my imagination. However, the stories they share are, sadly, all too real and important. In our New Testament reading today, we hear Jesus say, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.” Let’s think about that line for a second. “Blessed are the peacemakers.” “Blessed are the peacemakers.” Um, really? When I look at this scripture text and then read the news headlines, I can’t help but wonder if Jesus would still be saying this in our modern times.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>You’ve read the stories, I’m sure. About Gaza and Russia and Ukraine and South Sudan and Venezuela and Iraq and Syria and El Salvador and it becomes increasingly clear that we live in unstable and violent times where peace is really hard to find and where people who try to make peace are seen as irrelevant and useless and not as important. We live in a world that glorifies war. We live in a world that is constantly showing us images of terror and violence and death. In our country alone, there have been 74 school shootings since Newtown, CT and our government has done absolutely nothing to address this. Children are fearing for their lives and are being gunned down every single day and yet we are so beholden to the gun lobby and so in love with our guns that we can’t even see that our current ways of living are not doing anyone any favors.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Is this the world where the peacemakers are blessed? A world where we give medals to people who kill others in combat and call them heroes? A world where we execute murderers so we can prove that we are tough on violence? A world where we tell children like Javier that they need to return to their own countries because we don’t want them draining our resources? A world where LGBTQ people like Kat are still subject to bodily harm and even death in more countries than we can count?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>This world is where peacemakers are blessed? Really, this one? It sure doesn’t seem like it to me. I’d love to hear what Jesus would have to say to us now. I’d like to think that even he would just give up, throw in the towel and retire to a house in the woods and live in exile. It would certainly be easier to believe that.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Nation shall not lift up sword against nation. Neither shall they learn war anymore.” It’s a great passage, isn’t it? One that pacifists love to trot out all the time to justify why they are against war and violence. Yet, I’ve seen no evidence either in our modern times or even our ancient times about this ever being the case. We are a world that knows how to conduct war all too well. As a friend of mine recently put it, “I used to believe the world could change. I’m not so sure anymore.” It’s hard not to agree with that sentiment, especially when looking at our own history.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Two weeks ago, I traveled to Ghost Ranch in New Mexico to attend a week-long retreat with prominent Celtic theologian John Philip Newell. We spent a week in the desert talking about God and participating in silent meditative walks through the beautiful landscape there. It was during one of these walks that we were asked to reflect on the statement, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” We were asked to think about what that means to us and our context.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I spent my walk observing the beauty of where we were. I spent my time reflecting on just how much natural beauty there is in the world. It gave me a sense of inner peace. That’s when I realized something. Perhaps Jesus isn’t talking about external peace, a peace that is so rare and increasingly hard to find. Perhaps Jesus was instead referring to an inner peace, the kind of peace that comes along only when we search for it. I’ve discovered that when you are at peace within yourself, it is very hard to have any desire to seek revenge against others. Perhaps that’s the kind of peace that we ought to be pursuing, a peace that calms our hearts and quiets our fears. A peace that results in contentment, not anger. A peace that comes about through Jesus and through our belief that Jesus is working in our hearts and in our world to make everything better.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Last weekend, I went to Indiana for a retreat that I look forward to every year. It is a retreat for all LGBTQ people that are in the Presbyterian ordination process. This is a community that knows all too well the sort of violence and hatred that others in the church are capable of. This is a community that knows personal stories of being rejected and abused by others. This is a community that could easily give up on the church. Many have. Yet, many of us have chosen to stay with it and are continuing to seek ordination in the church. Perhaps we’re crazy. Perhaps we’re weird. Perhaps we do it because we know that we can find some sense of inner peace and contentment through each other. We support each other, love each other, help each other through the process and in that helping, we start to find some sense of peace about everything.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.” Perhaps that’s the kind of peacemaking we should be pursuing: inner peace. We can help each other get there. I can’t help but wonder what our world would look like if we started helping each other achieve inner peace. Maybe we wouldn’t feel the need to strike back in anger against each other. Maybe our children could go to school and feel safe. Maybe in our own quest for contentment, we might find that the world actually is capable of changing and our own inner cynicism and bitterness will melt away.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Let me clarify something here that I know is perhaps nagging at some of you. I’m not at all advocating for a withdrawal from the world or for us to focus only on ourselves and not on the problems of the world, vast as they are. What I’m instead advocating for is a different approach, an approach that emphasizes our own inner capabilities to change the world. When we find inner peace, we thus strive for outer peace. When we are at peace within ourselves, it can spur us on to action, action that will bring peace to others like Javier and Kat and Jonas. What might that action look like?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Best selling author Anne Lamott recently posted a compelling answer to that very question on her Facebook page: “I know that if I want to have loving feelings, I need to do loving things. It begins by putting your own oxygen mask on first: I try to keep the patient comfortable. I do the next right thing: left foot, right foot, left foot, breathe. I think Jesus had a handle on times like these: get thirsty people water. Feed the hungry. Try not to kill anyone today. Pick up some litter in your neighborhood. Lie with your old dog under the bed and tell her what a good job she is doing with the ruptured ear drum. I try to quiet the drunken Russian separatists of my own mind, with their good ideas. I pray. I meditate. I rest, as a spiritual act. I spring for organic cherries. I return phone calls.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I remember the poor. I remember an image of Koko the sign-language gorilla, with the caption, "Law of the American Jungle: remain calm. Share your bananas." I remember Hushpuppy at the end of Beasts of the Southern Wild, just trying to take some food home to her daddy Wink, finally turning to face the hideous beast on the bridge, facing it down and saying, "I take care of my own."<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I take care of my own. You are my own, and I am yours--I think this is what God is saying, or trying to, over the din. We are each other's. There are many forms of thirst, many kinds of water.”<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Beloved, we are each other’s angels. So, take care of each other. Don’t let this crazy, violent, topsy-turvy world get you down. Find inner peace. Find contentment. Help others find theirs. If you see a homeless person on the street, help them. Offer them a hand up. If you hear about a school shooting on the news, find out what you can do to help the victims and survivors. If you hear about violence toward others trying to immigrate to the United States, ask yourself what you can do to be a part of the solution, not the problem.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Maybe it won’t do any good. Maybe tomorrow, Javier will still not be able to immigrate across the border. Maybe Kat will still be homeless. Maybe Jonas will still be grieving the loss of his best friend. Somehow, though, I think our efforts to find peace, real peace will do some good in the long run. I think it is worth trying anyway at least for the sake of Javier and Kat and Jonas. They deserve better. We deserve better. We can do better.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Now, go answer your calling. Go and fill somebody’s cup. When you see an angel falling, won’t you stop and help them up? We are each other’s angels and we meet when it is time. We keep each other going and we show each other signs.”<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-14133908595174721272014-06-23T18:16:00.001-07:002014-06-23T18:16:08.837-07:00Abound in Hope This past week, I had the pleasure of once again attending the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA) in Detroit, Michigan. This biennial conference is where Presbyterians of all ages, races and political persuasions gather together for a week of worship, prayer, and discernment as to what the will of the body is regarding various issues that have come up since the last General Assembly. I attended the previous General Assembly in the role of a Student Assistant but this time I was lucky enough to be given the opportunity to attend in a different role, that of a Theological Student Advisory Delegate. These are seminary students who are sent to the Assembly as representatives of the seminary. They serve on committees and have full voice and vote in committees and voice on the floor of plenary. Our votes are tallied but are considered advisory votes and thus do not count in the final total where voting is considered.<br />
I had been an alternate to go and then found out a week before the start of the Assembly that I was needed to go in someone else's place. I quickly changed my plans, canceled some flights and was soon enough well on my way to Detroit for an experience that I can only describe as amazing! I like to describe GA as one big family reunion and that was definitely true from the very beginning of this one. Almost from the minute my plane landed I was running into people I knew and some I hadn't seen in years. It was a very joyous experience and that proved to be true for the entire week.<br />
On the second night of the assembly, we held elections for our Moderator and Vice-Moderator of the PC(USA). These two people would be representing our denomination all over the world for the next two years and would be the face of the Presbyterian Church over the course of that time. This was quite a historic year as all three candidates for Moderator had publicly stated their support for same-gender marriage, one of the issues that would be coming before the Assembly later in the week. Thus, in my own opinion, there really were no bad options. I'm blessed to say that a good friend and former colleague from Chicago was elected as the Vice Moderator. It felt so awesome to see her up there being inaugurated and installed and knowing that she would be someone representing the denomination that I love for the next two years. That was another way in which the Assembly was a blessing to me.<br />
I ended up serving on the Church Polity committee. This is the committee that considers overtures regarding changing different parts of our constitution. I'm a bit of a self-professed polity nerd so this was actually the perfect committee for me to serve on. I found myself really drawn in to our debates and questions. It was all fun for me. I had also agreed to help plan our committee's worship services, something that I have found myself really enjoying over the last two years. I ended up being in charge of picking out hymns, something that I find very spiritually rewarding for me. Needless to say, this made my time on the committee even more enjoyable.<br />
Our committees met for two days and then we were back in plenary session so that we could all vote on the overtures that the committees had approved or disapproved. While there were many that were very important, there were a few issues in particular that were the most watched and the most prayed about. They were ones that the Assembly chose not to approve at their last gathering and there was much conversation in the months before that this time things would go differently. I know that I was certainly praying for a different outcome this time around.<br />
The first issue of controversy to come before the assembly was the one regarding same-gender marriage. There were two overtures relating to this and I'm so proud to say that both of them passed the Assembly by an overwhelming margin. The first one is an authoritative interpretation that gives pastors the freedom of conscience to marry same-gender couples in states where it is legal. The language of this overture was really lovely and made it clear that pastors who don't agree with same-gender marriage don't have to be required to perform one. They still have the right to say no to any couple, straight or gay. It also doesn't require pastors to break any state laws as the rule only applies to pastors who reside in states where it is legal. As more and more states allow it, more and more Presbyterian pastors will be able to follow their conscience and marry their same-gender congregants without fear of prosecution from either state or ecclesiastical authorities. Because it was issued as an authoritative interpretation, its passage at the Assembly meant that it would go into effect as of the end of the Assembly. Meaning that in the 19 states where same gender marriage is legal, those Presbyterian pastors are now free to marry same-gender couples if they so choose.<br />
The other overture that passed was the one that would change the description of marriage in our Book of Order (which is Part 1 of our Constitution) to read that marriage is "between two people, traditionally a man and a woman". This is a huge change from the current language which explicitly states that marriage is only between a man and a woman. Because this is a change in our Constitution, it requires a majority of our presbyteries to ratify it so won't go into effect until a year from now (assuming it receives the required number of votes). Passing these two overtures was a huge step forward for the denomination and one that comes at great risk. Many churches have already threatened to leave because of our actions. For me, I saw it as an opportunity for us to truly live out the Gospel. Jesus called us to be people of acceptance and love for everyone. He broke bread with the outcasts and sinners. He was a friend to the friendless. By passing these overtures, my denomination showed that it was willing to be bold, brave and prophetic and that it was seeking to live out the values that Jesus taught. To me, that's worth losing some people over. What wasn't said in the conversations was how many people we may gain by passing these overtures. People who have left the church because we've been rejecting them. People who got tired of waiting for the church to change. People who were waiting for the church to become more like the Jesus and the God that they believe in. These are people who will hopefully come to church now. They are people who will agree to be part of a denomination again and will become an important part of our future as a denomination.<br />
The other controversial overture that passed, albeit by a very slim margin, was the one regarding divestment from three companies that have been profiting off the Isreali occupation of Palestine. This is an issue that attracted lots of passion, controversy and twisted stories. There has been a lot of misinformation about the actual language of the overture that was passed. Here are the actual facts from someone who was actually there, read the overture and voted for it. The PC(USA) did not divest from Israel. We did not declare ourselves to be anti-Semites. We instead chose to take a moral, highly symbolic stand and declare that we weren't going to profit anymore off of the suffering of the Palestinian people. It was an act of conscience. It was a prophetic move that declared to all that we are seeking ways of peace in a land that hasn't known any in a long time. Yes, it has been twisted and distorted by the media as an anti-Israel, anti-Semitic action but nothing could be further from the truth. Those "facts" are being reported by people who didn't even bother to take the time to read the actual language of the overture. The Presbyterian Church (USA) still loves their Jewish brothers and sisters and still cares about them. That hasn't changed. Let me make it perfectly clear. This wasn't an anti-Israel action. This was an anti-oppression action.<br />
All that being said, I left this assembly filled with so much hope and joy for the church that has been a part of my life for so long. The theme this year was "Abound in Hope" and I can't think of a better theme, personally. It was abounding in hope. Hope permeated the entire week. Hope energized my conversations. It fueled my motivation and it gave me the courage to speak on issues that felt important to me. This Assembly gave me hope for the future of my denomination; for the future of my ministry; for the future of my life. Indeed, I left Detroit on Saturday morning feeling eternally grateful that I got to be a part of the experience. I can't really even tell you in words how awesome it felt to be in the room when they announced that the two overtures about same-gender marriage had both passed. I felt proud, joyful, grateful and so appreciative for the people who had dedicated the last several decades of their lives to ensuring this would someday happen. I remain awestruck by it. As a queer (a word I don't often use to describe myself) seminary student, I am very much aware how historic that particular day was and the fact that I was privileged enough to be sitting on the floor of plenary voting on an issue that is so personal to me and so many of my closest friends. It makes me cry just thinking about it.<br />
I close this off by saying that I am so glad that the opportunity to go to Detroit fell into my lap. It was where I needed to be. It was how I needed to start my summer. It was what I needed to give me hope in my denomination again. I feel so excited now to someday be a pastor in this church that I have grown up in. I'm so lucky and so privileged and so grateful and yes, so hopeful. Detroit restored my soul. It restored my life. It restored my dreams.thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-78724780711617957132014-05-04T13:05:00.000-07:002014-05-04T13:05:42.416-07:00Living on a PrayerOne of the last sermons I will get to preach at my internship congregation. This was probably one of the toughest and most personal ones yet. Scripture text was Matthew 6: 5-14.<br />
<br />
<br />
It is slightly ironic that I am standing in front of you today, preaching on this particular topic. I was a bit taken aback myself when I saw that I would be preaching on this subject. Why, you may be wondering? Well, here’s the thing. When it comes to prayer, I confess that I just have a really difficult time with it. You see, when it comes to prayer, I just can’t seem to do it. The idea of sitting there and praying just doesn’t seem to work for me. I have tried so many times to just stay focused and to pray but to no avail.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I should confess here that I have ADHD or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Thus, I think that perhaps explains why I lose focus so easily and why I therefore find praying to be a rather difficult task for me. I know I haven’t always had a hard time praying. I remember when I was a much younger person that I would pray every night before going to bed. At some point, I stopped doing that and never started again.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Here’s just some of my reservations about prayer. These reservations, at least to me, represent the main reason why I don’t pray. Why do it? Why bother praying? If God already knows all our needs and already knows what is on our hearts, then why do we have to bother articulating them? Can’t God just give us what we want without us having to ask?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>We live in a broken, violent world. A world where people are savagely beaten and murdered every single day. A world where families are torn apart by war, violence, poverty, and death. A world where those with money and power have access to everything while those who lack both have access to nothing and yet we are told that this is the way it should be and that we shouldn’t expect or hope or long for anything better.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Where are our answered prayers in this world? People have been praying for peace in the Middle East for decades and yet the violence rages on. People have prayed for an end to hatred and homophobia and yet the persecutions continue. People have prayed for our children to feel safe and yet the violence in our schools and neighborhoods continues to rage on and consume entire families.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Is this what our answered prayers look like? A world shattered and broken by war and violence and poverty and hatred and abuse? This is the world that we continue to live in and grieve in and pray in. Our prayers don’t really seem to be making much, if any, difference at all.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>So, again, I ask you, why pray? Why bother? Why not just give up and stop praying and just accept that the world we live in is the world we have and stop trying to pray for it to change or be better. Why, indeed?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>In our scripture reading for today, we see Jesus tell his disciples how not to pray. He instructs them to pray not with boisterousness and loud voices like the hypocrites do. Instead, he instructs them to pray in secret and in quiet and not to make a big production out of it. Then, he teaches them the prayer that is perhaps the most well-known prayer in the entire Bible. The prayer that has been repeated by Christians for generations. The prayer that we now know as the Lord’s Prayer.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>At first glance, it seems so simplistic and so easy. It seems almost unfinished and feels rather short. Surely, there must be more to the prayer than just these few short lines, right? I mean, how can we possibly encapsulate everything we want to say to God in just these few short verses? I mean, God has to hear about our sick grandma and our anxiety over our upcoming test and our anguish over our loss of a job and none of those things is mentioned at all in this prayer. What gives?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>What Jesus is expressing here is the idea that our prayers don’t have to be these long, drawn out things. They can be simple and easy. They can be as short as one word or as simple as just saying Thank You. There is no need to attach fanciness or ornamentation to them. God sees right through all of that. God sees right to our hearts. God sees what we need to say even before we say it.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Which brings me back to my initial question: why bother praying? A few months back, I had the opportunity to attend the Companions on the Inner Way retreat down in Malibu, California. I basically signed up for this retreat as an excuse to spend a week in Malibu. I knew absolutely nothing about what I had signed up for or what I had gotten myself into. I got off the airport shuttle at the retreat center, received my schedule for the week, looked through it and thought to myself, “What in the world have I just gotten myself into?”<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>It was a week-long prayer and spirituality retreat. We were scheduled to do lectio divina meditations and spend time in contemplative silence and do art and journal and most importantly of all, pray. All stuff I have professed to either hate doing or to not get much out of. From the very beginning, I knew I was going to be in for a rough week. However, something inside me had told me to come on this retreat. Something inside me had told me to open myself up to this experience and to open myself up to the new ways of seeing that this might bring me. So, that next morning, I woke up and decided to be open to these things that I have been so against for so long. And, you know what? I found myself really enjoying them. I found myself actually enjoying lectio divina and enjoying time spent in contemplative silence and being able to actually, dare I say it, pray. I even, shocker, made art!<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Again, let me ask the question: why pray? Let me, if I may, reframe the question and approach it from a fresh angle. Instead of asking, why pray, I’m going to ask instead, why not pray? Why not take a chance and pray for each other and for ourselves. Why not pray knowing that God will see us and hear us? Why not swallow our pride and humble ourselves just a little bit so that we can take some time to just surrender ourselves to the act of prayer? After all, sometimes all we have is prayer.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Here’s what I have come to realize about prayer: it doesn’t have to be some on your knees with your mouth open praying to God type thing. It can be found in other ways. In the beloved children’s book, Anne of Green Gables, little Anne Shirley, an ever-inquisitive and spunky young lady, has this to say about prayer: “Why must people kneel down to pray? If I really wanted to pray I’ll tell you what I'd do. I'd go out into a great big field all alone or in the deep, deep woods and I'd look up into the sky—up—up—up—into that lovely blue sky that looks as if there was no end to its blueness. And then I'd just feel a prayer.” That, is a form of prayer. Walking the labyrinth? A form of prayer. Lectio divina? A form of prayer. My personal favorite way of praying? Through singing. Whatever way you choose to express the desires of your heart to God are acceptable and worthy as prayer.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yes, we live in a broken and fearful world. We live in a world that is full of violence and anger and hate. We live in a world that can be so crazy and topsy-turvy that it sometimes can threaten to be too much and we think that we should just give up. Clearly, God doesn’t hear our prayers or answer them because how could our world be like this if God did? So, wouldn’t it just be better to give up rather than continuing to pray without ceasing?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>No, it wouldn’t. Yes, it may not always be easy. Yes, we may get distracted during our praying or feel like it isn’t making a bit of difference. Yes, it may be that we would rather God just give us what we want without having to ask for it. When your dad has been sick for five years and you pray for him to get better only to see him get worse, it can seem pointless to continue praying. When you have a loved one go to prison and you pray to God everyday for them to be paroled and come home to you only to see them denied parole again and again and again it can seem pointless to continue praying. When you are being verbally abused and bullied every single day and you just pray for it to cease and it doesn’t, it can seem pointless to continue praying. Most of all, when you realize that you prefer boys instead of girls and you know that this very fact alone will mean isolation and ostracism and you pray, night after night, for God to just take it away and make you “normal” and instead God doesn’t, it can then seem pointless to pray.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yet, here’s the thing. Those are exactly the times when you need to pray the most. Perhaps you just need to change the request some. Instead of praying for your dad’s healing, pray instead for him to have a good and peaceful death so he can be relieved of his pain and suffering finally. Instead of praying for your loved one’s release, pray instead that they are safe and that when they do get out, they have learned something and won’t go back in. Instead of praying for the abuse to stop, pray instead for resiliency to keep on going in the face of abuse. Most importantly, instead of praying for God to change your sexuality, pray instead for the wisdom to see your sexuality as a gift, not a curse.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>So, yes, continue to pray. Continue to walk labyrinths and sing and dance and meditate or whatever else you find prayerful. Continue to believe that prayer is an essential and important part of your life. Continue to believe that it can somehow make a difference, because it does. We are, all of us, living on a prayer. Sometimes that is the only thing that keeps us going. Pray without ceasing. Pray with or without words. Pray every day in every way. Pray as if your life depends on it, because it does. Pray and know that God hears those prayers and appreciates them no matter what. When you can’t think of anything else to do or anything else to say, pray.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Will we still live in a broken and fearful world even if we continue to pray? Maybe yes but that doesn’t mean we should quit. Wars will rage. Diseases will spread. People will continue to be people. Yet, we must continue to pray. Not for an end to war but for our own abilities to stop war. Not for an end to disease but for an end to the conditions that leave people vulnerable to disease. Not for an end to hatred or bigotry or prejudice but for our own abilities to start loving everyone. This is the real purpose of prayer. To reveal ourselves to God and to pray for a change in ourselves, not our world. By humbling ourselves before God, we allow ourselves to be open to the ways in which the Holy Spirit opens us up to new ways of visioning. Yes, I think it is safe to say that we ought to live on a prayer.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-12578183051852733312014-04-27T12:39:00.001-07:002014-04-27T12:41:23.642-07:00Someone to Watch Over MeI preached again at my internship congregation. Here's the text of what I said for those who are interested! Scripture texts were Ruth 1: 15-18 & 1 Corinthians 12: 14-26<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I’m about to tell you a shocking fact about myself that you probably won’t believe. It is something that many people, even my closest friends, don’t believe about me. It is something that I do my best to hide from people because of the stigma attached to it. However, I think this is as good a place as any to just outright admit it. Alright, here it goes. I am an introvert and a bit of a loner. Don’t believe me? No worries, I’m not offended. I know I fake it pretty well and make myself out to be this big extrovert who loves being around people but the truth is I actually find myself drained by being around people. I crave my solitude and alone time. I crave those moments when I can just keep to myself and not have to interact with anybody. I crave my evenings alone with just a book.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Here’s something I guess I should also mention about myself, something that perhaps openly contradicts what I just stated. For the past four years, I have lived in intentional Christian communal living. I realize that many of you in the congregation do not understand any of the words that I just said so allow me to define what intentional Christian communal living means. These are best defined as communities of people who covenant to live together and agree to share various responsibilities like chores, grocery shopping and meals. We meet together every week or so in order to discuss various issues that have come up since our last meeting but also to just update each other on our lives and what we would like for the rest of the house to pray about in our lives.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I lived by myself for most of college. I had a house all to myself during most of my adolescent years. Thus, I’ve become really good at and really used to living alone. So, what has it been like for a loner and an introvert to live in intentional community with other people? In a nutshell: an incredible blessing for my life with its share of challenges and difficulties as well.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I first moved into intentional communal living when I moved to Chicago. I had covenanted to live in community with five other people my own age. I had literally no idea what I had signed up for or what I was about to get myself into. Yes, it was rough. There were times when it was downright challenging. Even now, four years into living in intentional community, there are still times when it is rough. There’s still times when I contemplate getting my own apartment or times when I just crave more alone time or times when I just don’t want to interact with another human being the rest of the day. Yet, in the end, I have found myself feeling greatly rewarded by my communal living experience and honestly can’t even think of my life without it.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>What does all this have to do with our Scripture texts for today? How does my rambling about the benefits of living in community relate to our Scripture passages for today? In our first Scripture reading, we hear a strong statement about what community can and should look like through the lens of Ruth’s vows to Naomi. “Where you go, I will go. Where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.” Now, these just happen to be some of my favorite verses in the entire Old Testament. That’s not, however, the reason why I chose them. These verses have a lot to say about the nature of community. Naomi was urging Ruth to return to her homeland and be with her own people. This was actually the custom of the times back then so it wouldn’t have been unusual at all for Naomi to tell her daughter-in-law this. Ruth defies convention, though, and insists to Naomi that she will stay with her and will follow her even unto death. She will forsake her old ways and live in new ways because she has such respect and deep love for Naomi. Keep in mind that this was a very patriarchal culture and the very idea of two women traveling together without a man to accompany them would have been considered quite scandalous and even slightly dangerous. What can explain this desire on Ruth’s part to buck conventional norms and stay with her mother-in-law? The Hebrew word for such a concept is hesed, which is usually translated as loving-kindness. It is normally understood as a kind of love that goes above and beyond all reason or rationale. It is the kind of love that would cause a young woman to break with tradition and stay with her mother-in-law rather than return to her native land.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Hesed is also the kind of love that would cause someone to choose to live in such an unusual living arrangement like intentional Christian community. When you think about it, how counter-cultural is it for someone to do that? We live in a society that prizes individuality over anything else. A society that tells us that we should value our privacy and mocks those who choose to march to the beat of their own drummer. We have labels for those people. “Freak”; “weirdo”; “non-conformist” are all insulting labels that we attach to people who go against the grain. I mean, why would somebody choose to live in such an odd arrangement when they could just as easily live by themselves? Why would somebody defy social conventions like that? There must be something wrong with them, right? Why would a woman, who has just lost her husband, want to remain with her mother-in-law and travel to a foreign land rather than head back to the safety and security of her own land and the stability and strength of a man’s presence? Why, indeed?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Hesed, that’s why. It is the kind of love that can’t be explained or understood or comprehended. It is the kind of love that just makes you do things that might be slightly unconventional but that you know will benefit you in the long run. Things like staying with your mother-in-law or living in an intentional community that requires praying for others. These things aren’t always going to be understood by others, nor should they be. Hesed, or loving-kindness, is the only thing that could possibly explain it.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I’d like to shift now to our New Testament text and talk a bit about its contribution to the concept of community. First, though, I’d like to introduce you to another unfamiliar word. The Greek word “koinonia” has many different translations but the definition I like best is when it is translated as “fellowship” or “community”. The concept of koinonia is one that permeates the New Testament and is widely identified as the idealized state of unity and fellowship that should permeate our Christian lives together.<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>We see that concept on display here in this passage from 1st Corinthians. While Paul never actually uses the word koinonia in this particular scripture passage, the idea of it is clear throughout it. To Paul, community or koinonia means that we are all a part of the body of Christ and that we all matter. Even though some of us may fulfill different functions or serve different purposes, his point remains that we are all one. “If one member suffers, all suffer together with it. If one member is honored, all rejoice together with it.”<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Thus, we see here that the concept of koinonia to Paul means that we each play a role and we each have importance in the body of Christ. When one of us is hurting, we all are hurting. When one of us rejoices, we all rejoice. This is what being in community means. This is what being in community looks like. This is what being a Christian means. Rejoicing with other people’s joys and crying with other people’s pains. That’s the type of community that we are called to live into.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>How does this play out, though, in our everyday lives? More specifically, how can we do a better job of practicing the concepts of hesed and koinonia in a world that doesn’t even know what those concepts mean? For that answer, I turn to a classic George and Ira Gershwin tune. The song “Someone to Watch Over Me” is a beautiful well-known ballad about a woman who is waiting for the love of her life to come find her and be the someone to watch over her. What I’d like to focus on from that song is the concept of someone to watch over me. When taken out of the context of the song, it actually could be about how we are called to live with each other in community. We all need someone to watch over us. We all need someone to hold us accountable. We all need someone to practice hesed and koinonia with us. Naomi had Ruth. The disciples had Jesus. We, too, all have people in our own lives that can be that person for us. It could be a significant other. It could be a best friend or a parent or a sibling. My point being that even those of us who claim to be loners and introverts still have need of people to watch over us. I don’t mean that they discipline us or punish us or anything like that. Rather, these are people who are part of our cloud of witnesses. People who are part of our body of Christ. People who are our community, our koinonia.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>This is what living in community has taught me. Yes, I may still be an introvert. Yes, I may still sometimes be a bit of a loner. Yes, I may still have times when I just want to be alone. Yet, living in community with other people has taught me so much about the value of community. It has taught me the value of having someone to watch over me; to pray for me; to hug me when I am at my lowest point. I saw the benefits of community when I was violently mugged a few years back. My housemates supported and helped me through that very difficult time. I saw the benefits again when one of my best friends died just a few weeks after I started seminary. Over and over during the past four years, I have received the benefits of community. It has both blessed and enriched my life in countless ways. My koinonia has shown me the benefits of hesed and for that I remain grateful.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I want to encourage you to show hesed toward others. Be like Ruth. Show others the same kind of loving-kindness that Ruth showed to Naomi. I’m not saying you have to leave everything behind and defy convention like she did but think about the ways that you can better enable others to be a part of your community.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Where is your koinonia? Do you have one? Take some time this week to sort that out. If you don’t have it, what steps can you take in your life to find it? We all need the blessings that community can provide. We simply can’t live without it.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>If you take away nothing else from this sermon, take away this: hesed and koinonia. What are we doing to both affirm and support those things in our lives? Without the blessings that community and hesed has given me, I would not be the person I am now. Neither would any of us. Find your koinonia. Find someone to watch over you. “Won’t you tell them please to put on some speed? Follow my lead. Oh, how I need someone to watch over me.”<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-86066892101240155182014-04-06T13:19:00.001-07:002014-04-06T13:25:20.367-07:00Let It Go?I preached at my internship congregation today! Here's the sermon for those who would like to see it. Scripture text is Matthew 18: 21-35.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have a confession to make. It is not one I make easily or lightly. It is one that I would prefer to never state publicly but in the interest of full disclosure, I think it is necessary that I reveal this to you today. I hope that what I am about to say won’t shock you or make you love me any less but if it does, I accept that as my punishment for what I am about to tell you. Are you ready? Are you sure? It is going to be quite shocking and maybe a little scandalous. Okay, here it goes. I have a hard time with the concept of forgiveness. The old saying, “Forgive and forget”? I can do the forgetting easily enough but the whole forgive part is something I struggle with.<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I suspect it is the same with many others, perhaps even many of you in the congregation. What is it about forgiveness that we find to be such a challenge? Why is it easier and sometimes better for us to continue to hold a grudge for years, rather than simply forgiving those who trespass against us? </span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Perhaps I should back up a bit and first define what forgiveness actually means. According to Webster’s Dictionary, forgiveness is defined as “to give up resentment of or to cease to feel resentment against”. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? All it requires is that we give up our resentment of another. Yet, this seemingly simple act seems so hard for so many of us to do. </span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Here, in this Scripture text, we hear Jesus’s words about forgiveness and how important it is to the Christian lifestyle. Peter asks him, “Lord, how often shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Seven times? Jesus replies, “No, you shall forgive him seventy times seven.” Now, Jesus isn’t saying that you should literally only forgive your brother 490 times and then at the 491st time, you can say, ok, that’s it. No more forgiveness. It is a metaphorical meaning implying that we should forgive without ceasing. We should forgive without any limitations on it. </span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I have to stop here and ask, though, really? Is it really supposed to be that way? It is easy for Jesus to say that we should forgive our brother or sister when they have done us wrong, like when they talk about us behind our backs. However, I wonder if Jesus would say this to a woman who was sexually abused by her brother. Would he tell a woman who’s been raped that she should forgive her rapist? Would he tell an abused child that they should forgive their abuser? Jesus’s platitudes about forgiveness might have worked fine for the community he was in and the times he was in but they seem to bear no relation to the world we live in today. Instead, they come off as cheap and empty and hollow and don’t seem to offer much comfort to our modern day troubles.</span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Or do they? A few weeks ago, Rev. Fred Phelps passed away. For those of you who have somehow managed to avoid knowing who Fred Phelps is, he was the founding pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas. This church has single-handedly promoted hatred and intolerance and is infamous for their picketing at Matthew Shepard’s funeral and also at funerals of military personnel. The church has been labeled as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center and is generally seen as an extreme example of the conservative Christian movement.</span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Now, I’m about to say some stuff that you might find controversial or perhaps even surprising. You might think that when I first heard that Phelps was on his deathbed and had entered his final days that I was happy or excited or perhaps wanted to perform a cha-cha on his grave! You might have thought that I would be the first to throw a party to celebrate the death of a man who has done nothing but spread hate and intolerance toward me and my fellow LGBTQ sisters and brothers. I’m not gonna lie, if this had happened a few years back, I might have done just that. It would have been very easy for me to simply wish for him to be suffering in hell. I don’t think anyone would have begrudged me that much. </span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yet, here’s what I have come to realize. In order to be a Christian and a follower of Christ, it is essential that I also be able to forgive others, even those who have deeply hurt me. Does this mean Fred Phelps gets a free pass and that we can excuse everything he ever said or did? No, it does not. Let me make this perfectly clear. I do not excuse, condone or in any way endorse anything that Rev. Phelps or the Westboro Baptist Church does or says. This man spent a lifetime hating people that he probably never even bothered to take the time to get to know. He spent years spewing vitriol and promoting a false Gospel and a false God. </span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yet, and here’s the controversial part of my sermon, I forgive him. I hope that he is up in heaven partying with Jesus and Matthew Shepard and that he has found the peace in death that he so clearly never had in life. Best-selling author Anne LaMotte has this to say about forgiveness: “Forgiveness means it finally becomes unimportant that you hit back. You're done. It doesn't necessarily mean that you want to have lunch with the person.” Would I want to sit down to lunch with Fred Phelps? No, I think not. I don’t think anything productive or healing would happen there. I no longer feel the need to hit back. I no longer feel the urge to wish him suffering and misery. I no longer wish him anything but peace. </span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>This next weekend at SFTS, we will be presenting our Fourth Annual Production of the Vagina Monologues. This is a show about female empowerment. It is a show about women who are willing to speak up and say that they are no longer going to allow the abusers to win. It is also a show about forgiveness. In the show, there are several monologues about women who experienced sexual violence against themselves. Women who were violated, raped, abused or otherwise broken down and told to be silent because their voices aren’t worth hearing anymore anyway. Yet, what the show acknowledges is the fact that this won’t be the case for these women anymore. They are about to rise up, speak up and declare their truth. The truth that they are beautiful and wonderful people just as they are and that no one can tell them otherwise ever again. </span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>What is most striking about the monologues, at least from my perspective, is the fact that none of these women seek revenge against their abusers. None of them declare any type of ill will or wish any sort of harm on their attackers. This, in its own way, is an example of forgiveness. The realization that they are strong and empowered in spite of what has happened to them is an example of what is possible through the power of forgiveness. They exemplify the idea that you don’t have to hit back. You don’t have to ever see your abuser again but you also don’t have to allow yourself to wallow in sadness and shame. </span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>What we see in Jesus’s parable of the unforgiving servant is what happens to us when we are unable to forgive. We see a servant who is punished severely by his master because he cannot forgive his fellow servant of a relatively small debt, even after the master forgives him a relatively large debt. The master, in this case, is meant to be God. God can forgive us of anything we’ve done. That’s the very nature of God. God can forgive Fred Phelps. God can forgive an abuser. God can forgive anyone, no matter how large the debt or terrible the burden. </span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Of course, we aren’t God. We are human. Humans are subject to all kinds of failings. Thus, I want to really emphasize here that it is okay to be unable to forgive. It is okay to be angry. It is okay to be mad. It is okay to be feeling whatever you are feeling. Your feelings are valid and important and need to be acknowledged. As someone who spent years being verbally abused by people close to me, I totally get that anger. I totally get that wanting to see the abuser suffer or be punished. It makes perfect sense. It may even make us feel good. At what cost, though? </span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The whole concept of forgiveness in the New Testament is based on the idea that those who are able to forgive others are also able to receive God’s forgiveness. When we fail to forgive others, we also fail to receive God’s forgiveness for us. We fail to be better than our abusers. We fail to be better people. </span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Anne LaMotte also has this to say about forgiveness: “Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.” We can’t continue to be in community with others if we aren’t willing to forgive them as well. Holding a grudge does a disservice to both parties. Are we willing to continue to be Christians? If so, we may have to make the hard choice to forgive not only others, but also ourselves. When we do, we open ourselves up to receiving God’s forgiveness. </span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"> <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>What does this mean, then, for our modern context? Does it look like an abused woman forgiving her abuser? Does it look like forgiving Fred Phelps? Does it look like being willing to enter a church again, years after feeling driven out due to hatred? While it could look like any or all of those things, I hesitate to ever use the word should because I know that may not be possible for many of us. What I will say instead is that I think forgiveness looks more like being willing to move on with our lives without becoming abusive ourselves. We can break the cycle of abuse but only when we are willing to forgive. This doesn’t mean we have to ever see the person again. It does however mean that we have to be willing to let it go. Not in the sense that we can never talk about it again or that we should just shut up. Please don’t think I am ever advocating for that. Instead, I am advocating for us to love ourselves. For us to forgive ourselves. For us to find peace with ourselves and with each other. This is the true path to forgiveness. This is the true path to letting go. This is what Jesus was advocating for with each of us. </span></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>We need to stand up and speak our truth. We need to stand up and proclaim our power. We need to stand up and proclaim that we forgive our brothers and sisters for what they have done to us. We need to create a new paradigm. Let us be more willing to forgive. It might not be easy. It might take some time. Yet, as Christians, it will always be the right thing to do. It will open us up to new things. It will open us up to receiving forgiveness from others. I encourage you to leave this place today and go forth sowing seeds of forgiveness. You just might be surprised by what blooms. </span></span></div>
thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-36651435149735718702014-02-16T13:03:00.000-08:002014-02-16T13:03:49.353-08:00All You Need is Love?Sermon I preached today at my internship congregation. Scripture text is 1 Corinthians 13: 1 - 8.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>All You Need is Love?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Love conquers all. Love can build a bridge. Love’s the only house. Love will keep us together. I’ll never fall in love again. Where is love? Stop in the name of love. You can’t hurry love. Love is a battlefield. Love, love me do. Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Those are all statements that have been made about love over the centuries. Some of those statements are so well known that they have become cliches. Our culture is obsessed with the concept of love. So much so that we even have an entire day dedicated just to it in which love and affection are celebrated and those who have found love are all happy and cheerful and full of joy while those who haven’t are supposed to pretend as if they aren’t depressed by the whole notion of love in the first place.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Permit me to be a bit cynical here and stop to ask the question: why. Why Love? What is Love? Why do we even want or need love in our lives? When it comes to love, I confess I tend to be a bit cynical and bitter toward the whole thing. Perhaps I’ve had my heart broken one too many times. Perhaps I’ve been in too many bad relationships. Perhaps I’ve opened my heart too often only to see it stomped on. For whatever reason, I just find love to be a really hard concept for me, especially around February 14th. Believe me, when you’ve spent 29 consecutive Valentine’s Days on the couch in your pajamas watching TV instead of out with your significant other, the whole concept of Valentine’s Day and of love really starts to make you depressed and bitter.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yet, here I am today preaching about love. What do I, an old bitter cynic, have to say about love? For that answer, I turn to our Scripture text for today. The Apostle Paul tends to not get a lot of love, particularly in more progressive Christian circles. Some of that is deserved as he does say some very harsh things about women and gays in his writings. However, there are also some great and quite profound things that he says in his writings as well. In particular, these verses from his first letter to the Corinthians are some of the most beautiful and most profound in the whole Bible. They have been reproduced and re-used so much that they have become almost cliches themselves. They are frequently used in wedding ceremonies as a way for the bride and groom to remind themselves how they should act toward each other in marriage.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yet, I want us to hear them together today with a fresh set of eyes. I want everyone to close their eyes and listen as I read these words to you. Pretend that you have never heard them before. Pretend that they haven’t yet turned into cliches. Just pretend, if you can, that these words are being read to you just after they’ve been written. Let the words wash over you.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.<br />
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.<br />
Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Did you notice anything about these verses that you maybe hadn’t seen before? Anything jump out at you? What I noticed when I heard these words was how often the word love is used. In these eight verses, the word love is used seven times. The number seven is a very significant number in the Bible. God rested on the seventh day of creation. Jesus tells us to forgive our neighbor seventy times seven. In the book of Revelation, seven angels deliver seven scrolls to the seven churches. Indeed, the number seven is believed to be the most holy and perfect of numbers, a fact that Paul would have been well aware of while writing these verses.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The Greek word for love is “agape”, often translated as unconditional love. This agape love is the kind of love that Paul is referring to in these verses, a love so powerful and pure that it stands as perfect. God’s love for us and our love for God is a perfect kind of love. That is why the word is used seven times in these verses, because agape love is the most perfect and most holy kind of love. The kind of love that is so perfect that it is patient and kind and not boastful or rude or arrogant. It is the kind of love that never ends. It is the kind of love that more of us need to practice. It is the kind of love that more of us need to show toward our fellow human beings.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Before starting seminary, I spent a year living in Chicago serving with the denomination’s Young Adult Volunteer Program. This program is intended for young adults between the ages of 18-30 who agree to serve either domestically or internationally for a year doing volunteer mission work. They are placed with other volunteers their own age and all the volunteers are assigned to work in either churches or non-profits depending on their interests. I was assigned to work in a church, specifically a church located in the heart of what is known as “Boystown”, the neighborhood that is known as being the most gay-friendly. One of my specific duties was to serve as the volunteer coordinator for the church’s Friday night programming known as Cafe Pride. This was a program in which volunteers of the church would commit to opening the church doors every Friday night to allow the local homeless lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth to have a place to congregate and get away from the weather and police harassment. From 8 to midnight every Friday night, I saw real agape love on display as the church volunteers would provide a home-cooked meal for the youth, play games with them, watch a movie with them or just engage in conversation with them about their lives and their interests. There was never any judgment or condemnation of their lifestyles or telling them that they needed to be saved and repent of their “wicked” ways. That wasn’t the purpose of the program. It was simply a safe space for these youth and young adults to see what real, agape, unconditional love looks like. It looks like a church opening its fellowship hall every Friday night to youth who live on the streets.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>It looks like Antoinette Tuff, the brave woman who managed to talk a mentally disturbed young man out of shooting up an elementary school in Georgia this past August. At one point in her conversation with the gunman, Tuff says the following: “It's going to be all right, sweetie. I want you to know I love you, OK? I'm proud of you.” This radical approach to dealing with an attacker is widely credited with convincing the gunman to surrender to police with nobody being harmed. Ms. Tuff looked at this gunman and saw a real person. She saw someone who needed love. She saw someone who needed proof of the real, agape love. By showing him that kind of love, she also prevented a tragedy.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>That’s the same kind of love that God has for us, the created. The beloved. Our being loved isn’t a choice. It is an inherent and beautiful part of who we are. This is the kind of love that Paul is talking about in 1st Corinthians. The kind of love that is so perfect and so holy that it casts out all our hatred. It casts out all our bitterness. It casts out all our cynicism, our bigotry and our fear. It is the kind of love that can even cause an old, bitter cynic to keep believing in the power of love even when he wants to just give it all up.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Mother Teresa, a woman who fully embodied agape love in everything she did and in the way she lived her life, said “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” If we love with that all-consuming, all-encompassing agape love, we too will find this to be the case. We will find that when we do everything in love, that that love will illuminate and shine throughout all we do. We will find that there will be no more hurt, only more love. We will discover that even when we have had our hearts broken over and over again by other people that there is still love to be found in this world. We will discover that God’s agape love is so powerful that we can’t help but continue to believe that love is still a powerful and important force for good in our lives and our world.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Let us love like Antoinette Tuff or like the Friday night volunteers at a church in Chicago. Most importantly, let us love like God loves. Then, we will find that yes, indeed, all you need is love. Love bears all things. Love believes all things. Love hopes all things. Love endures all things. Love never ends. Beloved, never let your love end. It really is all you need in this world.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br />
thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-75734397477951936862014-01-05T12:07:00.004-08:002014-01-05T12:07:52.759-08:00Wrecking BallFolks, here is the sermon I preached today at my internship congregation. Scripture texts were Matthew 2: 1 - 2 and Revelation 7: 15-17<br />
<br />
<br />
The Book of Revelation is a challenging text. Biblical scholars have struggled with it for centuries as they have attempted to understand just what exactly this book is actually about. It is full of strange prophecies and visions and images that cannot easily be explained. It is usually claimed by more conservative Christians to be a text about the end of days and what will happen to the faithful and unfaithful when Christ comes back in final victory. The wicked shall be punished and the good shall be rewarded and there shall be much wailing and gnashing of teeth. The Devil himself shall be conquered when Christ comes back in final victory. Before that can happen, though, there will be a great war to end all wars and there will be many casualties. Those who believe will be saved while those who don’t shall be denied eternal rest with God and instead will suffer the eternal torment of Hell.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>That, as I said, is a conservative Christian reading of it. It has been used to justify all manner of evils in this world from holy wars to genocides to persecution of non-Christians. I’d like to, if I may, reclaim this text. Instead of labeling it as a text of terror, I’d like to offer up the idea that it is a text of grace. Let me explain what I mean.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Recently, there was some controversy in the news regarding an interview that the patriarch of “Duck Dynasty” gave in GQ magazine. For those of you who don’t know what “Duck Dynasty” is, it is a reality show on the A & E network that follows a family of duck hunters in the Louisiana bayou. The show is one of the most-watched TV shows on basic cable and frequently has more viewers than many critically-acclaimed shows like “Downton Abbey”, “The Good Wife” and “Mad Men”. In the interview, Phil Robertson, patriarch of the family, was asked about his views regarding homosexuality. Now, it shouldn’t really be that shocking that a redneck bearded straight white male from the South wouldn’t be in favor of it. What really stood out about the interview was the level of vitriol and distaste he had for it. He compared homosexuality to bestiality and cited his religious views and personal belief in God as the reasons for his dislike of it. Now, I’m not here to judge or condemn his remarks in any way. That’s not the focus of my sermon today, other than to say that if you’ve known me for more than five seconds, you can hopefully guess where I stand on his remarks.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>What I am going to focus on is the level of “Christian outrage” that was generated over his remarks. The A & E network immediately suspended Robertson for his remarks claiming that his statements did not fit with the network’s personal views. The amount of Christian outrage over Robertson’s suspension has been astronomical as Christians have rushed to Robertson’s defense even going so far as to send A & E’s CEO death threats for daring to suspend him. Many Christians have held up his views as the correct Christian view on the issue and have said that Robertson is being persecuted for his religious beliefs.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Now, here are my questions about all this. A man is suspended from a TV show because he expresses his Christian beliefs that homosexuality is sinful and wrong. Christians everywhere respond with death threats and boycotts. Over 28,000 people in the United States have died due to gun violence since the school shooting in Connecticut last December. That means 90 people have died every single day due to gun violence. Where is the Christian outrage about this? One in eight people worldwide suffer from hunger or malnutrition issues. One in 8. Where is the Christian outrage about this? The United States, the richest and most developed country on Earth, has approximately 50 million people living at or below the poverty line. Where is the Christian outrage about this? In countries like Uganda, Russia and Qatar, LGBTQ individuals are subject to imprisonment, castration and even death just because of their sexual orientation. Where is the Christian outrage toward these countries and their flagrant human rights abuses?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Perhaps we have our priorities out of sync. Perhaps we’ve let our more conservative brothers and sisters in Christ hijack the message of Christianity. Perhaps it is time we reclaim this message and what better day to do it than today.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Today is the day when Christians celebrate Epiphany, otherwise known as the day that the magi (or the Three Kings or the Three Wise men) came to deliver their gifts to Jesus. Epiphany traditionally marks the end of the Twelve Days of Christmas and the beginning of what we liturgical nerds call “Ordinary Time”. Epiphany comes from the Greek word, epiphania, which translates as “the manifestation of God into the world”. Epiphany, literally then, is the day on which we celebrate the coming of Christ into the world because Christians recognize just how important Christ’s entry into the world is for their own lives.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>What does it look like for Christ to be manifest in our world today? Earlier in the service, we sang the hymn “My Soul Cries Out with a Joyful Shout” or as I learned it, “The Canticle of the Turning.” This happens to be a personal favorite hymn of mine and one of the reasons why is because it details what will happen when Jesus Christ manifests into the world. “The hungry poor shall weep no more for the food they can never earn. You will show your might and put the strong to flight. Your justice tears every tyrant from his throne.” This is what the world will look like when Epiphany happens and Christ is manifested in the world.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>We hear this same sentiment expressed in our Scripture text from the book of Revelation. They will hunger no more and thirst no more... and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. This is the Good News that we hear from this book of the Bible. This is how we, as Christians, can reclaim the Book of Revelation and indeed the entire Bible: by declaring that it is a book full of hope and promise and grace. It proclaims that when Jesus comes into our world, there will be no more hunger. There will be no more thirst. There will be no more gun deaths or homophobia or racism. Not in the world that Jesus creates. There is simply no place for any of that in Jesus’s new world.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Just like a wrecking ball, Jesus comes in and tears down all our walls. Our walls of homophobia. Our walls of racism. Our walls of classism, sexism & transphobia. Jesus breaks on through them all and calls us to live with each other in peace and freedom. Freedom from violence and hate and bigotry. Freedom from oppression and freedom from repression. When Christ manifests himself into the world, it is truly a new day and a new world. One where indeed, the hungry poor shall weep no more. One where bigotry and homophobia no longer exist. One where our Christian outrage directs us to work for the outcasts and the displaced. The immigrants and those in poverty shall all have a place at the table in this new epiphany.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>There’s a new day coming. A day in which Jesus is at the forefront. A day in which the Christian outrage is over issues like gun violence and poverty and homophobia and bigotry and sexism. The only questions that remain: are we going to let Jesus break down those walls? Are we willing to let Jesus Christ be the wrecking ball that our world so desperately needs?<br />
<br />
thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-82322221562704723302013-12-19T12:17:00.000-08:002013-12-19T12:17:04.719-08:00Hard Candy Christmas<br />
Folks, here is the sermon that I preached last night at my internship's Blue Christmas Worship Service. May it provide you with some comfort and healing during this holiday season. Scripture text was Matthew 11: 28-30<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>In this passage from the Gospel of Matthew, we hear Jesus say, “Come to me all that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens and I will give you rest.” I don’t know about you but I sure would like to do that. The holiday season can be a very rough time for many people. I’m sure it might be that way for most of the people here tonight, which is why you are here. We hear songs of joy and peace and we feel neither joy nor peace. When you are having a difficult holiday season, hearing a song like “Joy to the World” does not make you feel very joyful. In fact, it can make you feel very unjoyful and even, dare I say it, grinchy.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yet, all around us, we see nothing but happiness and joy and mirth. The grief that many people feel at this time of the year is almost never acknowledged or appreciated. It is almost as if society would rather not think about it and expects us all to just get over it and be happy and cheerful for a few weeks. Yet, for many of us, that’s not the reality we face. In 2004, my father passed away after several years of declining health. I still have fond memories of spending Christmas with him so every Christmas since his death has been tinged with sadness. In 2005, my mentor/friend/surrogate father-figure killed himself a week before Thanksgiving. That same week, my mother fell and broke her leg and had to have major surgery. Thanksgiving that year was spent at the hospital with my mom. In 2010, I was violently mugged for the first time ever a week before Thanksgiving. Needless to say, I was having a hard time finding much to be thankful or jolly about that year. This year, I received word that a dear friend and surrogate grandmother passed away after a brief battle with pancreatic cancer and in the same week also experienced the dissolution of another failed relationship.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I think it is safe to say that when it comes to the holiday season, I know something about not feeling all that joyful or merry. Don’t get me wrong, I still love Christmas. I listen to Christmas music obsessively. I love watching Christmas movies, decorating Christmas trees, drinking egg nog, opening presents, the whole bit. However, I’m also keenly aware of the fact that for so many, Happy Holidays are anything but.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>In the song, “Hard Candy Christmas”, Dolly Parton sings about the end of a relationship but her words really could be about anyone who is experiencing a difficult holiday season for any reason. “Hey, maybe I'll dye my hair. Maybe I'll move somewhere. Maybe I'll get a car. Maybe I'll drive so far, they'll all lose track.” What we hear here is a desire for escape, for a fresh start. Doesn’t that sound so great for so many of us? When we are faced with difficulty, we do feel the need to escape or run away from it. That can take many forms. It can look like us getting on a plane and traveling across the country for a few weeks. It can look like us selling our home and moving far away from everything that reminds us of our grief. It can look like staying in our bed for three days straight and refusing to leave the house or answer the phone. It can, unfortunately, also look like us retreating into drugs and alcohol. Our grief can and does take many forms.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“I’ll be fine and dandy. Lord, it’s like a Hard Candy Christmas. I’m barely getting through tomorrow but still I won’t let sorrow bring me way down.” Here, we hear conflicting emotions. On the one hand, we hear Dolly say that she has hit rock bottom. She can barely make it through her days. On the other hand, we hear her say that she won’t let her sorrow bring her down. She will rise up and stand tall. The line hard candy Christmas is often regarded as a reference to Dolly’s childhood. She grew up in poverty and had 11 siblings. Since money was tight, at Christmas, rather than receiving presents, she and her siblings would receive hard candy instead. That was what their parents could afford to give them. It wasn’t much at all but it was all they had to give. The term “hard candy Christmas” has come to symbolize those times when we aren’t able to provide much joy to anybody so we have to make do with what we have, even when that is just a piece of hard candy.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>For many, the idea of a hard candy Christmas resonates. For those who can’t afford to give their families the presents that they want. For those who can’t afford to fly home to be with their families and instead are spending it alone. For those who are just one paycheck away from being homeless. For those who are already homeless. For all these people, a hard candy Christmas is about right. For them, there will be no presents under the tree. For many, they won’t even have a tree because they don’t have a home to put a tree in.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yes, there will be plenty of times in our lives when we too will experience a “hard candy Christmas.” It may be because we recently lost our job and cannot afford to spend extra money on presents for our loved ones. It may be because we are facing this holiday season without someone we deeply cared about. It may be because we are dealing with mental illness or an addiction of some sort. It may be because we are grieving the end of a relationship that meant so much to us. It may even be that we are lamenting the fact that we are once again facing the holiday season alone due to our spectacular inability to maintain a relationship for longer than a month! For any or all of these reasons, this could indeed be a “hard candy Christmas”. <br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>This past weekend marked the one year anniversary of the school shooting in Newtown, CT. There’s no words to express the grief that the parents of the victims have experienced over the last year. I can’t even comprehend what emotions they’ve been dealing with every day since the shooting. I’m sure that for many of them, it was and will continue to be a “hard candy Christmas”. Songs of joy and peace probably haven’t been very comforting to them over the last year. Where is their relief? Where is their rest? Who can they bring their burdens to?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Take my yoke upon you. . . For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” What comfort can we find in these verses? What Jesus is saying here is that when we trust in him, we will find ourselves with a lighter burden to carry. Come, bring your burdens to God as the song says. Does this mean that our burdens will suddenly cease to exist or that we will forget that we have them? Surely not. My dad is still dead. I still miss him almost ten years later. The families in Newtown, CT still miss their children. The homeless are still homeless. As Lea Michele, star of the TV show Glee, so eloquently stated it on “The Ellen Degeneres Show” recently, “Grief goes with you every day, whatever you’re doing.” Our grief, our sadness, our struggles will still be there. What has changed, however, is how we deal with the grief. Rather than wallowing in self-pity and refusing to leave the house, we go outside and take a walk in the fresh air. We hike up a mountain. We go visit friends. We reach out to our communities of support and they help us process everything. “Maybe I’ll learn to sew. Maybe I’ll just lie low. Maybe I’ll hit the bars. Maybe I’ll count the stars until dawn.”<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>It is at our darkest moments when we have to learn to keep going because we can’t let sorrow bring us way down. We trust in Jesus. We trust that God is there to comfort us in our grief, no matter how bleak things might seem. We trust that when we bring our burdens to God that God can handle them. We trust that even in those moments when we feel so completely lost, alone and afraid that God is there walking with us and perhaps even carrying us on God’s shoulders. Our mourning shall turn to dancing and our lamentation shall turn to joy. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not even next month or next year. But one day, you’ll see, you’ll wake up and the sun will shine again and you’ll feel a sense of joy and peace again. You, too, will be “just fine and dandy” even if it has been a hard candy Christmas.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br />
thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-6818907348266916982013-11-19T19:25:00.000-08:002013-11-19T19:25:05.077-08:00Someday, My Prince Will Come?With the holiday season approaching, I wanted to write about a topic that has been on my heart the past few weeks. I warn you that this is a subject that many people don't like to talk about. It's one that I particularly don't like to talk about. I'm going to make myself very vulnerable here and possibly say things that I've never said out loud. Also, it is entirely possible that some of my loyal readers may not like some of what I say here. That's fine but I make no apologies for how I feel. You shouldn't have to apologize for your feelings anyway. All that being said, let's discuss the subject of dating and relationships.<br />
<br />
Why do I bring this up? Because it is something that has been a part of my life almost from the beginning. I just turned 29 years old last month. Perhaps that is why this has been weighing so heavily on my heart. I've entered the last year of my 20s and I cannot even tell you how hard it is to continually hear from friends that they've started dating someone or they've gotten engaged or they're having a baby while I continue to strike out in the dating world. As I watch more and more of my friends partner up and settle down, I'm left feeling very alone and unloved. I want to emphasize here that I am very happy for my friends and I share in their joy and excitement over those kinds of things but I also can't help but feel a slight stab in my heart that I continue to feel like a failure in that aspect of my life.<br />
<br />
Yes, I am aware of all that positive stuff that is spouted about how you have to love yourself first and how you are supposed to feel like a complete person by yourself and blah blah blah. Here's the thing. I say that stuff to myself all the time. I do feel like a complete person. I do love myself (most of the time) but I'm not gonna lie, being single can still really suck. I know I like to put on a cynical, tough exterior here and say that I'm not a relationship type of person or that I don't need anyone else in my life because I don't have time for it or whatever but the truth of the matter is: deep down, I really want to share my life with someone else. It's a very human desire and how could I not want that? I'm also very aware of the idea that we shouldn't compare our lives to other peoples because that means we will never be satisfied because our lives will never be as good as someone else's. I hear that but let's be honest, that's not actually how we are wired. You can tell yourself every single day that you are perfectly happy with your life and how it is but the minute your best friend meets the love of her life and gets married, don't even try and tell me that a part of you won't be depressed because you still haven't met anyone worthy. The truth of the matter is, yes, my life is pretty great. I live in a beautiful part of the country surrounded by supportive friends. I'm in great health. I have an internship that I love and am thriving at. Yes, I have it better than a lot of people. I get that. Yet, does that mean that I can't be at least a tiny bit sad that I haven't found anybody to share my joys and sorrows with? Does acknowledging that my life is pretty great also mean that I can't acknowledge that that aspect of my life isn't so great?<br />
<br />
It's not for lack of trying, I can assure you of that. I've been in two relationships so far and they both ended very abruptly and very suddenly. The most recent one happened over the summer with someone who I really thought had potential to be a great permanent partner for me. They checked off all of the boxes on my checklist (and believe me, I am extremely picky so almost no one checks all the boxes). Sadly, it didn't last. I didn't take it well. I think I'm still not entirely over them and it is conceivable that I won't be for quite a while. I really hate the dating world and the games you have to play in it and the subtle hints you have to decode. I was so looking forward to being done with all of it. To be honest, I really don't want to deal with it all over again. My Asperger's means I have a difficult time picking up on social cues or subtle hints which seems to be what dating is all about. I don't like having to watch what I say or being afraid that I'm going to scare them off or hearing after two dates that they "just like me as a friend." Here's the thing: I'm not looking for any more friends. I have plenty of friends. I could literally not make another friend for the rest of my life and I would still have too many friends. At this point in my life, I'm searching for something more than that. I'm craving something deeper. Someone I can be intimate with in ways that I can't be with friends. Someone who I can be with forever and even potentially raise children with. Yes, I just said that out loud. I do have a desire to have children. That might shock some of you as I like to make jokes about how I hate children or don't think they are the right thing for me but the truth of the matter is, I would love to be a dad. I think I could be a pretty good one so the idea that that door might never be available to me is one that I really struggle to be okay with. My other deep, dark secret? I have a fear of dying alone. I have a fear that there will be no one at the hospital to say goodbye to me when I go. In my ideal scenario, I'd be surrounded by my partner and our kids and maybe a few really close friends as I take my last breaths on this earth. I worry that that ideal might not become reality.<br />
<br />
I don't think my coupled friends realize sometimes how unintentionally hurtful some of their rather innocuous comments can be. When they gush about their boyfriends or husbands on Facebook. When they post a picture of their huge engagement ring. When they post about their pregnancy or post pictures of the baby. While I know they mean well, these types of things are unintentionally hurtful to me because I know that that might never be my situation. My Facebook status might consistently stay at single (it has so far). I may never know the joy of being a parent. I may never propose or be proposed to. So, every time I see stuff like this on my newsfeed, I seriously want to gag or cry or just go lay down in the fetal position. Why can't people post more pictures of their cats? I love seeing pictures of cats. Why don't we brag about our goldfish more? I'd much rather see a picture of your cat than your baby. It would hurt less!<br />
<br />
I think another reason why this weighs so heavily on my heart is because I'm going into a profession where single people are heavily frowned upon (even if that's never stated directly). Churches feel much more comfortable hiring pastors that are married and/or have kids. That's the narrative they want to present to other churches. That's the narrative they want to use to recruit more families. I've heard stories of churches who outright have rejected candidates because they were single. Since it is entirely possible that I will still be single by the time I finish school and am ready to seek a call, this really worries me. Is my inability to stay in a relationship longer than a month going to affect my ability to find a job? What am I supposed to do about that? The #1 reason why many single adults stop going to church? Because it is the one aspect of their lives where they feel most acutely aware of their singleness. At work, at school, even in their families, they may not feel it but at church they are keenly aware of it. Thus, they stay away from church. What are churches doing to address this fact?<br />
<br />
I think we need to be more aware of the language we use and the words we say to singles. Someday, my prince will come. Maybe he will. What if he doesn't? What if my "knight in shining armor" doesn't exist? Is that okay? Does that make me less of a person? Am I okay with accepting this fact? What if I am meant to stay single? I've certainly been on more than enough bad dates to never want to dip my toe into those waters ever again! I guess I'm just getting to the point where I'm starting to wonder if that special someone is even out there. I can't help but feel slightly inadequate that I still haven't met anybody. I have accepted that I may never meet anyone. Maybe that's how it is meant to be. Not everyone is meant to get married or partner up. Here's the thing about that. Yes, perhaps some of us aren't meant to be with someone but do I have to be one of those someones? Why can't I be with somebody? Yes, I fully believe that I am a complete person even by myself. That doesn't mean that I can't still have the desire to have that special connection with a special person. I think what I've realized is that I'm not a dating person. I'm a relationship person. I want the relationship but not all the drama and games that go with dating. I just want that one special person that I can come home to after a long day of work and cuddle with on the couch and watch a movie. Or someone that I can vacation with or someone that I can bring home with me for the holidays and have them meet my family and feel like I have somebody special that loves me in spite of (or because of) my flaws. Sometimes, I just feel so aware of how much I desperately want that and don't have it. And, it hurts. It deeply, deeply hurts. Maybe it shouldn't but it does. Every. Single. Time.<br />
<br />thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-32450266797284747812013-09-01T12:06:00.001-07:002013-09-01T12:06:45.231-07:00Light Up the WorldFolks, here is the text of the sermon that I preached today at my internship congregation. It was my first time preaching there and it went really well! Got lots of positive feedback and really felt like the congregation enjoyed it immensely. My Scripture text was Romans 12: 4-8<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Today is Christian Vocation Sunday. It’s also Labor Day Weekend. Combined, these two days are days when we honor and celebrate the act of working. The Presbyterian Church (USA) clarifies the word vocation by defining it as the idea that God has given each of us gifts and that we are therefore called to use those gifts in a way that pleases and serves God and others. Our vocation is the way in which we respond to the many gifts God has given us; how we live our life.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>That seems to tie in well with our Scripture passage today. We hear Paul say the following words, “we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us.” What does this mean, though, for our modern-day context? What it refers to is the idea that we each have something to offer the world. Educational reformer John Dewey once said, “To find out what one is fitted to do, and to secure an opportunity to do it, is the key to happiness.” Therefore, it behooves us all to discover what it is that we are called to do with our lives. For some of us, it may be cooking. For others, it may be working in the financial sector. For others, it may be raising children. All of these, if they fit our gifts, our interests and our abilities are good, life-giving work and can be considered our Christian vocation and even, dare I say it, our ministry.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I define ministry as anything you enjoy doing that also brings joy to others and that means that if you enjoy cooking and it brings joy to others, then that is your ministry. I happen to enjoy watching movies and reviewing them and that, to me, is ministry. If you enjoy teaching children or youth, that’s your ministry. Anything can be a ministry. Anything that fits our gifts and talents and interests. I think Paul would agree with me there. We may all have different gifts but we all use these different gifts in unison to glorify and honor God, the one who gave us these gifts.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>So, what does this mean for our lives together as Christians? It means that we are all members of the same body of Christ. We may each have different gifts or even different ministries but no one is outside of the body of Christ even if their gifts or ministries might not be “acceptable” in our eyes. We each bring something different to the table. We each bring something of ourselves to the table. What we contribute may in some cases seem insignificant or small or relatively unimportant but it all is important to God and it is all acceptable to God. The work we do matters. The work we do is important even if society would sometimes like us to believe otherwise. The images we see on television and in magazines is that some careers are better or more important than others and therefore those people deserve more attention or more importance or more money or more status. We emphasize just how much more important a CEO is than a maid or how a Senator is just too busy to handle something mundane like housework or raising children.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yet, that’s not actually the case at all. In the eyes of God, there is no difference between a CEO or a maid; a Senator or a housewife. Each contributes a different but just as important gift to the Christian community. In the same way that eyes contribute something different to the body than the feet do but each is just as important to the makeup of the body, so it is with what we do with our vocations. Yes, a Senator and a housewife have radically different jobs with different responsibilities, benefits, pay grades and statuses but ultimately they both contribute in their own way to the larger Christian community and without both their contributions, the community looks and feels different.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>This is why it is of paramount importance for us to honor and respect each other’s work. It makes no difference if one is a waitress or a banker or even the President of the United States, our work is important and useful and good because it honors and serves God. This is why it becomes absolutely vital for us to appreciate all the many ways that we each contribute to the body of Christ. So, on this Labor Day weekend while some of us rest from our labors, let’s remember those who don’t get Labor Day off. Let’s respect those who work in jobs that we might consider beneath us. Let’s appreciate the hard work of those who don’t get any appreciation from society. I worked in retail for two years before coming to seminary. I worked every Labor Day, every Christmas and every Thanksgiving. It was hard, monotonous and sometimes boring work. The hardest part about it, though, was the lack of appreciation that I would receive from customers. I got plenty of complaints (and even a few profanity-laced tirades) but almost no compliments. It made me very aware of just how little we appreciate that particular sector of our society. We are just as likely not to tip our waitress who brings us our food as we are to ignore the janitor who cleans our bathrooms. In many cases, we don’t even see these people unless there is a problem. We are all too eager to complain if the bathroom is not clean enough or if our food is served cold but how often are we willing to take the time to compliment someone on their superb job cleaning the bathroom or their excellent handling of our complicated beverage order? My point is is that too often, we forget to acknowledge the work that others do for us. We forget to see them as part of the body of Christ. Instead, we complain and gripe at them because they dared to forget to put non-fat milk in our triple latte. Nothing’s worse than getting the wrong coffee at Starbucks, am I right?!<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I think I would be remiss here if I did not at least acknowledge in some way the historic event that occurred fifty years ago this week. On August 28, 1963, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his “I Have A Dream” speech in which he someday dreamed of a world in which we would not judge others by “the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Many may not realize that his now-famous and well-known speech was actually the culmination of what was titled the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. The marchers were protesting a system of economic inequality that was keeping the poor oppressed and preventing them from lifting themselves out of poverty. At the time, the national unemployment rate was 5 percent. Sadly, that number has actually gone up to 7.7 percent. For African Americans, the unemployment rate is nearly 16 percent and for Hispanics, 10 percent. Then, the federal minimum wage was 1.25 per hour. Today, it is 7.25 per hour meaning that the minimum wage has only gone up 6 dollars in 50 years. There is absolutely no reason why a woman working 40 hours a week at her job shouldn’t be able to provide the basic necessities for herself and her children. It is unconscionable that the McDonald’s Corporation, a company worth billions, asks its employees to create a budget for themselves that doesn’t allow for child care, gasoline, groceries or clothing. Meanwhile, corporate CEOs continue to rake in millions and are able to afford to buy that second house in Maui that their kids have been begging them for. Does anyone else see the irony in this?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>This is happening because we have forgotten to see each other and the work we do as valuable and important. We have forgotten to see each other as part of the body of Christ. We have forgotten to see ourselves as the body of Christ. We have lifted up and made important some people while denigrating and fundamentally denying the importance of other people. We have forgotten to let our light shine but instead hide it under a bushel because we don’t see what we do as important. We are the ones working the minimum wage jobs. We are the ones working every single weekend and holiday. We are the ones who have to work two jobs just to pay rent and buy groceries. We are the ones who, at the end of the day, are tired and worn out and exhausted and are then told that we are lazy and don’t deserve to have the same privileges as others.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I say to you that we need to start writing a new story. We need to start writing a story in which we all are equal in each other’s eyes. A story in which we see each other as part of the body of Christ. A story in which a CEO is no more nor no less important than a housekeeper. A story in which we let our own lights shine because then other peoples’ lights will shine as well. In her book, A Return to Love, author Marianne Williamson provides one of the most profound and most-quoted lines about this very concept. She writes, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Therefore, I say to you, go and let your light shine. Go and remember to see each other as part of the body of Christ. We all have different gifts but all our gifts are equal and important to our community of faith. Remember that, always. Don’t hide your light under a bushel. Instead, let it shine and brighten other people’s lives so that they may in turn do the same. Go and liberate each other from your fears. Light up the world. We already have too much darkness out there. Let’s, instead, be the light.<br />
(Sung) “This Little Light of Mine, I’m gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!”<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br />
thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7455015397514941122.post-64910569546307542082013-08-24T00:12:00.001-07:002013-08-24T00:12:16.459-07:00I Know What I Did Last Summer Hello folks, once again I must apologize for my extended absence from this here blog. Lots going on means I have had no time to blog about it even though I wanted to. It just becomes hard to write down all my thoughts. Anyway, here we go.<br />
<br />
Spring Semester ended well. It was a pretty rough semester actually, both academically and personally. I was really struggling with some personal issues all last semester and found myself having trouble concentrating in my classes because of it. I still ended up doing really well in my classes and now have the highest GPA I have ever had in my life but making it through the semester ended up being a bit of a challenge. Not really going to say anything more than that other than I am glad I got through it and I am doing a lot better now.<br />
<br />
Summer was pretty low-key. Mostly consisted of working full-time at my job and then doing as little as possible when I got home from work. I spent most of July traveling as I do every summer. Its become increasingly important to me that I travel for at least a week or two in the summer. I visited five states in 23 days, a schedule that I do not necessarily recommend as it really wore me out. Started my travels in Georgia at a retreat that has become a vital and important piece of my summer. From there, I traveled up to Indiana to take part in the Presbyterian Youth Triennium that I had been helping to plan for the last two years. It was really great to finally see all of our hard work come to fruition but the week itself was completely exhausting and difficult. I was sad to see it end but also ready to move on to the next part of my journey, Wisconsin. I stayed with some seminary friends out there and just had a really good, relaxing time exploring the town and visiting with my friends. I had never traveled to Wisconsin before and I have to say that I really enjoyed my time there. Not sure that I could ever move there as the winters are really terrible but it seems like a really great place to settle down and live. From there, I took a Greyhound bus to Chicago, IL. For those of you who don't know, Chicago was where I lived for a year before moving to California (and where this very blog really came into existence!) but I had not been back since leaving two years ago so it felt really good to be back in a city that I had come to love so much. It was so good to see friends again and explore the city that I spent so much time in. I was reminded, though, of why I left and so in that sense, it felt good to be there so that I could realize that. I realized that Chicago was a great place for me at the time I was there but that I was never meant to stay there. I already knew that but being back there just re-confirmed it for me. I've moved on and so has the city. From Chicago, I traveled to my final destination: Louisville, KY. I was there to attend the Big Tent Conference of the Presbyterian Church, specifically the Compassion, Peace and Justice Conference which was dealing with the issue of food justice, an issue that I have become very passionate about over the last year or so. It was a great conference and I had a great time seeing old friends and making new connections. I was ready to leave by the end of it so that I could get back to California after being away for so long.<br />
<br />
I arrived back in California and then a week later started my internship. For the next 9 months, I will be serving as the Pastor in Training/Intern at Christ Presbyterian Church in Terra Linda, CA which is about twenty minutes from campus. I'm full-time there Sunday through Thursday and I have my own desk, office, land-line phone and keys so I have a pretty great set-up. I'm going to be gaining practical experience with all the things that I've been learning how to do over the last two years of seminary. I'll be preaching, leading Bible Studies, serving as a youth group sponsor, creating young adult programming, teaching children's Sunday School, singing in the choir and developing Adult Sunday School options. Yeah, it is a lot. I don't deny that. However, it is all stuff that I wanted to do. They're all areas that I either enjoy doing or need to learn how to do so therefore I agreed to take on all those responsibilities. Good thing I'm a Type A! So far, I'm really enjoying being there. I have a great supervisor who is very pastoral and really good with boundaries and the church is so welcoming and friendly. I think it will be a great fit for me. I will be there until June 1st and then next September, I will be returning to full-time classwork taking the last 4 to 5 classes that I need to graduate and then graduating in May of 2015 with my Masters in Divinity. After that, who knows where I will end up? While I love California, it can be very expensive to live here so I may not be able to stay once I am no longer a student. Plus, after four years of living in the same place, I may be ready for a change. Who knows? Guess I will find out soon enough. For now, though, I'm just going to continue to enjoy my time in California for as long as it may last which may be two years or ten years or forever.<br />
<br />
So, all in all, I'd say I am doing pretty great. Dealt with some personal aches somewhat this year but I'm happy to report that I seem to have gotten past all that and am now content and satisfied with where I am in life and what I'm doing. I even have my own business cards at my internship!! How cool is that??! Anyways, I shall close this off now as I need to go to bed. Hope you are all doing well and that you had restful and good summers, like I did. I will try to be more consistent about updating this thing so that I can keep you filled in on how my internship is going. No promises, though, so bear with me!thopphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09325690802793418821noreply@blogger.com0