Someone to Watch Over Me

I preached again at my internship congregation. Here's the text of what I said for those who are interested! Scripture texts were Ruth 1: 15-18 & 1 Corinthians 12: 14-26


I’m about to tell you a shocking fact about myself that you probably won’t believe. It is something that many people, even my closest friends, don’t believe about me. It is something that I do my best to hide from people because of the stigma attached to it. However, I think this is as good a place as any to just outright admit it. Alright, here it goes. I am an introvert and a bit of a loner. Don’t believe me? No worries, I’m not offended. I know I fake it pretty well and make myself out to be this big extrovert who loves being around people but the truth is I actually find myself drained by being around people. I crave my solitude and alone time. I crave those moments when I can just keep to myself and not have to interact with anybody. I crave my evenings alone with just a book.
Here’s something I guess I should also mention about myself, something that perhaps openly contradicts what I just stated. For the past four years, I have lived in intentional Christian communal living. I realize that many of you in the congregation do not understand any of the words that I just said so allow me to define what intentional Christian communal living means. These are best defined as communities of people who covenant to live together and agree to share various responsibilities like chores, grocery shopping and meals. We meet together every week or so in order to discuss various issues that have come up since our last meeting but also to just update each other on our lives and what we would like for the rest of the house to pray about in our lives.
I lived by myself for most of college. I had a house all to myself during most of my adolescent years. Thus, I’ve become really good at and really used to living alone. So, what has it been like for a loner and an introvert to live in intentional community with other people? In a nutshell: an incredible blessing for my life with its share of challenges and difficulties as well.
I first moved into intentional communal living when I moved to Chicago. I had covenanted to live in community with five other people my own age. I had literally no idea what I had signed up for or what I was about to get myself into. Yes, it was rough. There were times when it was downright challenging. Even now, four years into living in intentional community, there are still times when it is rough. There’s still times when I contemplate getting my own apartment or times when I just crave more alone time or times when I just don’t want to interact with another human being the rest of the day. Yet, in the end, I have found myself feeling greatly rewarded by my communal living experience and honestly can’t even think of my life without it.
What does all this have to do with our Scripture texts for today? How does my rambling about the benefits of living in community relate to our Scripture passages for today?  In our first Scripture reading, we hear a strong statement about what community can and should look like through the lens of Ruth’s vows to Naomi. “Where you go, I will go. Where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.” Now, these just happen to be some of my favorite verses in the entire Old Testament. That’s not, however, the reason why I chose them. These verses have a lot to say about the nature of community. Naomi was urging Ruth to return to her homeland and be with her own people. This was actually the custom of the times back then so it wouldn’t have been unusual at all for Naomi to tell her daughter-in-law this. Ruth defies convention, though, and insists to Naomi that she will stay with her and will follow her even unto death. She will forsake her old ways and live in new ways because she has such respect and deep love for Naomi. Keep in mind that this was a very patriarchal culture and the very idea of two women traveling together without a man to accompany them would have been considered quite scandalous and even slightly dangerous. What can explain this desire on Ruth’s part to buck conventional norms and stay with her mother-in-law? The Hebrew word for such a concept is hesed, which is usually translated as loving-kindness. It is normally understood as a kind of love that goes above and beyond all reason or rationale. It is the kind of love that would cause a young woman to break with tradition and stay with her mother-in-law rather than return to her native land.
Hesed is also the kind of love that would cause someone to choose to live in such an unusual living arrangement like intentional Christian community. When you think about it, how counter-cultural is it for someone to do that? We live in a society that prizes individuality over anything else. A society that tells us that we should value our privacy and mocks those who choose to march to the beat of their own drummer. We have labels for those people. “Freak”; “weirdo”; “non-conformist” are all insulting labels that we attach to people who go against the grain. I mean, why would somebody choose to live in such an odd arrangement when they could just as easily live by themselves? Why would somebody defy social conventions like that? There must be something wrong with them, right? Why would a woman, who has just lost her husband, want to remain with her mother-in-law and travel to a foreign land rather than head back to the safety and security of her own land and the stability and strength of a man’s presence? Why, indeed?
Hesed, that’s why. It is the kind of love that can’t be explained or understood or comprehended. It is the kind of love that just makes you do things that might be slightly unconventional but that you know will benefit you in the long run. Things like staying with your mother-in-law or living in an intentional community that requires praying for others. These things aren’t always going to be understood by others, nor should they be. Hesed, or loving-kindness, is the only thing that could possibly explain it.
I’d like to shift now to our New Testament text and talk a bit about its contribution to the concept of community. First, though, I’d like to introduce you to another unfamiliar word. The Greek word “koinonia” has many different translations but the definition I like best is when it is translated as “fellowship” or “community”. The concept of koinonia is one that permeates the New Testament and is widely identified as the idealized state of unity and fellowship that should permeate our Christian lives together.
  We see that concept on display here in this passage from 1st Corinthians. While Paul never actually uses the word koinonia in this particular scripture passage, the idea of it is clear throughout it. To Paul, community or koinonia means that we are all a part of the body of Christ and that we all matter. Even though some of us may fulfill different functions or serve different purposes, his point remains that we are all one. “If one member suffers, all suffer together with it. If one member is honored, all rejoice together with it.”
Thus, we see here that the concept of koinonia to Paul means that we each play a role and we each have importance in the body of Christ. When one of us is hurting, we all are hurting. When one of us rejoices, we all rejoice. This is what being in community means. This is what being in community looks like. This is what being a Christian means. Rejoicing with other people’s joys and crying with other people’s pains.  That’s the type of community that we are called to live into.
How does this play out, though, in our everyday lives? More specifically, how can we do a better job of practicing the concepts of hesed and koinonia in a world that doesn’t even know what those concepts mean? For that answer, I turn to a classic George and Ira Gershwin tune. The song “Someone to Watch Over Me” is a beautiful well-known ballad about a woman who is waiting for the love of her life to come find her and be the someone to watch over her. What I’d like to focus on from that song is the concept of someone to watch over me. When taken out of the context of the song, it actually could be about how we are called to live with each other in community. We all need someone to watch over us. We all need someone to hold us accountable. We all need someone to practice hesed and koinonia with us. Naomi had Ruth. The disciples had Jesus. We, too, all have people in our own lives that can be that person for us. It could be a significant other. It could be a best friend or a parent or a sibling. My point being that even those of us who claim to be loners and introverts still have need of people to watch over us. I don’t mean that they discipline us or punish us or anything like that. Rather, these are people who are part of our cloud of witnesses. People who are part of our body of Christ. People who are our community, our koinonia.
This is what living in community has taught me. Yes, I may still be an introvert. Yes, I may still sometimes be a bit of a loner. Yes, I may still have times when I just want to be alone. Yet, living in community with other people has taught me so much about the value of community. It has taught me the value of having someone to watch over me; to pray for me; to hug me when I am at my lowest point. I saw the benefits of community when I was violently mugged a few years back. My housemates supported and helped me through that very difficult time. I saw the benefits again when one of my best friends died just a few weeks after I started seminary. Over and over during the past four years, I have received the benefits of community. It has both blessed and enriched my life in countless ways. My koinonia has shown me the benefits of hesed and for that I remain grateful.
I want to encourage you to show hesed toward others. Be like Ruth. Show others the same kind of loving-kindness that Ruth showed to Naomi. I’m not saying you have to leave everything behind and defy convention like she did but think about the ways that you can better enable others to be a part of your community.
Where is your koinonia? Do you have one? Take some time this week to sort that out. If you don’t have it, what steps can you take in your life to find it? We all need the blessings that community can provide. We simply can’t live without it.
If you take away nothing else from this sermon, take away this: hesed and koinonia. What are we doing to both affirm and support those things in our lives? Without the blessings that community and hesed has given me, I would not be the person I am now. Neither would any of us. Find your koinonia. Find someone to watch over you. “Won’t you tell them please to put on some speed? Follow my lead. Oh, how I need someone to watch over me.”

Let It Go?

I preached at my internship congregation today! Here's the sermon for those who would like to see it. Scripture text is Matthew 18: 21-35.

         I have a confession to make. It is not one I make easily or lightly. It is one that I would prefer to never state publicly but in the interest of full disclosure, I think it is necessary that I reveal this to you today. I hope that what I am about to say won’t shock you or make you love me any less but if it does, I accept that as my punishment for what I am about to tell you. Are you ready? Are you sure? It is going to be quite shocking and maybe a little scandalous. Okay, here it goes. I have a hard time with the concept of forgiveness. The old saying, “Forgive and forget”? I can do the forgetting easily enough but the whole forgive part is something I struggle with.

I suspect it is the same with many others, perhaps even many of you in the congregation. What is it about forgiveness that we find to be such a challenge? Why is it easier and sometimes better for us to continue to hold a grudge for years, rather than simply forgiving those who trespass against us? 

Perhaps I should back up a bit and first define what forgiveness actually means. According to Webster’s Dictionary, forgiveness is defined as “to give up resentment of or to cease to feel resentment against”. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? All it requires is that we give up our resentment of another. Yet, this seemingly simple act seems so hard for so many of us to do. 

Here, in this Scripture text, we hear Jesus’s words about forgiveness and how important it is to the Christian lifestyle. Peter asks him, “Lord, how often shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Seven times? Jesus replies, “No, you shall forgive him seventy times seven.” Now, Jesus isn’t saying that you should literally only forgive your brother 490 times and then at the 491st time, you can say, ok, that’s it. No more forgiveness. It is a metaphorical meaning implying that we should forgive without ceasing. We should forgive without any limitations on it. 

I have to stop here and ask, though, really? Is it really supposed to be that way? It is easy for Jesus to say that we should forgive our brother or sister when they have done us wrong, like when they talk about us behind our backs. However, I wonder if Jesus would say this to a woman who was sexually abused by her brother. Would he tell a woman who’s been raped that she should forgive her rapist? Would he tell an abused child that they should forgive their abuser? Jesus’s platitudes about forgiveness might have worked fine for the community he was in and the times he was in but they seem to bear no relation to the world we live in today. Instead, they come off as cheap and empty and hollow and don’t seem to offer much comfort to our modern day troubles.

Or do they? A few weeks ago, Rev. Fred Phelps passed away. For those of you who have somehow managed to avoid knowing who Fred Phelps is, he was the founding pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas. This church has single-handedly promoted hatred and intolerance and is infamous for their picketing at Matthew Shepard’s funeral and also at funerals of military personnel. The church has been labeled as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center and is generally seen as an extreme example of the conservative Christian movement.

Now, I’m about to say some stuff that you might find controversial or perhaps even surprising. You might think that when I first heard that Phelps was on his deathbed and had entered his final days that I was happy or excited or perhaps wanted to perform a cha-cha on his grave! You might have thought that I would be the first to throw a party to celebrate the death of a man who has done nothing but spread hate and intolerance toward me and my fellow LGBTQ sisters and brothers. I’m not gonna lie, if this had happened a few years back, I might have done just that. It would have been very easy for me to simply wish for him to be suffering in hell. I don’t think anyone would have begrudged me that much. 

Yet, here’s what I have come to realize. In order to be a Christian and a follower of Christ, it is essential that I also be able to forgive others, even those who have deeply hurt me. Does this mean Fred Phelps gets a free pass and that we can excuse everything he ever said or did? No, it does not. Let me make this perfectly clear. I do not excuse, condone or in any way endorse anything that Rev. Phelps or the Westboro Baptist Church does or says. This man spent a lifetime hating people that he probably never even bothered to take the time to get to know. He spent years spewing vitriol and promoting a false Gospel and a false God. 

Yet, and here’s the controversial part of my sermon, I forgive him. I hope that he is up in heaven partying with Jesus and Matthew Shepard and that he has found the peace in death that he so clearly never had in life. Best-selling author Anne LaMotte has this to say about forgiveness: “Forgiveness means it finally becomes unimportant that you hit back. You're done. It doesn't necessarily mean that you want to have lunch with the person.” Would I want to sit down to lunch with Fred Phelps? No, I think not. I don’t think anything productive or healing would happen there. I no longer feel the need to hit back. I no longer feel the urge to wish him suffering and misery. I no longer wish him anything but peace. 

This next weekend at SFTS, we will be presenting our Fourth Annual Production of the Vagina Monologues. This is a show about female empowerment. It is a show about women who are willing to speak up and say that they are no longer going to allow the abusers to win. It is also a show about forgiveness. In the show, there are several monologues about women who experienced sexual violence against themselves. Women who were violated, raped, abused or otherwise broken down and told to be silent because their voices aren’t worth hearing anymore anyway. Yet, what the show acknowledges is the fact that this won’t be the case for these women anymore. They are about to rise up, speak up and declare their truth. The truth that they are beautiful and wonderful people just as they are and that no one can tell them otherwise ever again. 

What is most striking about the monologues, at least from my perspective, is the fact that none of these women seek revenge against their abusers. None of them declare any type of ill will or wish any sort of harm on their attackers. This, in its own way, is an example of forgiveness. The realization that they are strong and empowered in spite of what has happened to them is an example of what is possible through the power of forgiveness. They exemplify the idea that you don’t have to hit back. You don’t have to ever see your abuser again but you also don’t have to allow yourself to wallow in sadness and shame. 

What we see in Jesus’s parable of the unforgiving servant is what happens to us when we are unable to forgive. We see a servant who is punished severely by his master because he cannot forgive his fellow servant of a relatively small debt, even after the master forgives him a relatively large debt. The master, in this case, is meant to be God. God can forgive us of anything we’ve done. That’s the very nature of God. God can forgive Fred Phelps. God can forgive an abuser. God can forgive anyone, no matter how large the debt or terrible the burden. 

Of course, we aren’t God. We are human. Humans are subject to all kinds of failings. Thus, I want to really emphasize here that it is okay to be unable to forgive. It is okay to be angry. It is okay to be mad. It is okay to be feeling whatever you are feeling. Your feelings are valid and important and need to be acknowledged. As someone who spent years being verbally abused by people close to me, I totally get that anger. I totally get that wanting to see the abuser suffer or be punished. It makes perfect sense. It may even make us feel good. At what cost, though? 

The whole concept of forgiveness in the New Testament is based on the idea that those who are able to forgive others are also able to receive God’s forgiveness. When we fail to forgive others, we also fail to receive God’s forgiveness for us. We fail to be better than our abusers. We fail to be better people. 

Anne LaMotte also has this to say about forgiveness: “Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.” We can’t continue to be in community with others if we aren’t willing to forgive them as well. Holding a grudge does a disservice to both parties. Are we willing to continue to be Christians? If so, we may have to make the hard choice to forgive not only others, but also ourselves. When we do, we open ourselves up to receiving God’s forgiveness. 

  What does this mean, then, for our modern context? Does it look like an abused woman forgiving her abuser? Does it look like forgiving Fred Phelps? Does it look like being willing to enter a church again, years after feeling driven out due to hatred? While it could look like any or all of those things, I hesitate to ever use the word should because I know that may not be possible for many of us. What I will say instead is that I think forgiveness looks more like being willing to move on with our lives without becoming abusive ourselves. We can break the cycle of abuse but only when we are willing to forgive. This doesn’t mean we have to ever see the person again. It does however mean that we have to be willing to let it go. Not in the sense that we can never talk about it again or that we should just shut up. Please don’t think I am ever advocating for that. Instead, I am advocating for us to love ourselves. For us to forgive ourselves. For us to find peace with ourselves and with each other. This is the true path to forgiveness. This is the true path to letting go. This is what Jesus was advocating for with each of us. 

We need to stand up and speak our truth. We need to stand up and proclaim our power. We need to stand up and proclaim that we forgive our brothers and sisters for what they have done to us. We need to create a new paradigm. Let us be more willing to forgive. It might not be easy. It might take some time. Yet, as Christians, it will always be the right thing to do. It will open us up to new things. It will open us up to receiving forgiveness from others. I encourage you to leave this place today and go forth sowing seeds of forgiveness. You just might be surprised by what blooms. 

All You Need is Love?

Sermon I preached today at my internship congregation. Scripture text is 1 Corinthians 13: 1 - 8.




All You Need is Love?
Love conquers all. Love can build a bridge. Love’s the only house. Love will keep us together. I’ll never fall in love again. Where is love? Stop in the name of love. You can’t hurry love. Love is a battlefield. Love, love me do. Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love.
Those are all statements that have been made about love over the centuries. Some of those statements are so well known that they have become cliches. Our culture is obsessed with the concept of love. So much so that we even have an entire day dedicated just to it in which love and affection are celebrated and those who have found love are all happy and cheerful and full of joy while those who haven’t are supposed to pretend as if they aren’t depressed by the whole notion of love in the first place.
Permit me to be a bit cynical here and stop to ask the question: why. Why Love? What is Love? Why do we even want or need love in our lives? When it comes to love, I confess I tend to be a bit cynical and bitter toward the whole thing. Perhaps I’ve had my heart broken one too many times. Perhaps I’ve been in too many bad relationships. Perhaps I’ve opened my heart too often only to see it stomped on. For whatever reason, I just find love to be a really hard concept for me, especially around February 14th. Believe me, when you’ve spent 29 consecutive Valentine’s Days on the couch in your pajamas watching TV instead of out with your significant other, the whole concept of Valentine’s Day and of love really starts to make you depressed and bitter.
Yet, here I am today preaching about love. What do I, an old bitter cynic, have to say about love? For that answer, I turn to our Scripture text for today. The Apostle Paul tends to not get a lot of love, particularly in more progressive Christian circles. Some of that is deserved as he does say some very harsh things about women and gays in his writings. However, there are also some great and quite profound things that he says in his writings as well. In particular, these verses from his first letter to the Corinthians are some of the most beautiful and most profound in the whole Bible. They have been reproduced and re-used so much that they have become almost cliches themselves. They are frequently used in wedding ceremonies as a way for the bride and groom to remind themselves how they should act toward each other in marriage.
Yet, I want us to hear them together today with a fresh set of eyes. I want everyone to close their eyes and listen as I read these words to you. Pretend that you have never heard them before. Pretend that they haven’t yet turned into cliches. Just pretend, if you can, that these words are being read to you just after they’ve been written. Let the words wash over you.
If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end.
Did you notice anything about these verses that you maybe hadn’t seen before? Anything jump out at you? What I noticed when I heard these words was how often the word love is used. In these eight verses, the word love is used seven times. The number seven is a very significant number in the Bible. God rested on the seventh day of creation. Jesus tells us to forgive our neighbor seventy times seven. In the book of Revelation, seven angels deliver seven scrolls to the seven churches. Indeed, the number seven is believed to be the most holy and perfect of numbers, a fact that Paul would have been well aware of while writing these verses.
The Greek word for love is “agape”, often translated as unconditional love. This agape love is the kind of love that Paul is referring to in these verses, a love so powerful and pure that it stands as perfect. God’s love for us and our love for God is a perfect kind of love. That is why the word is used seven times in these verses, because agape love is the most perfect and most holy kind of love. The kind of love that is so perfect that it is patient and kind and not boastful or rude or arrogant. It is the kind of love that never ends. It is the kind of love that more of us need to practice. It is the kind of love that more of us need to show toward our fellow human beings.
Before starting seminary, I spent a year living in Chicago serving with the denomination’s Young Adult Volunteer Program. This program is intended for young adults between the ages of 18-30 who agree to serve either domestically or internationally for a year doing volunteer mission work. They are placed with other volunteers their own age and all the volunteers are assigned to work in either churches or non-profits depending on their interests. I was assigned to work in a church, specifically a church located in the heart of what is known as “Boystown”, the neighborhood that is known as being the most gay-friendly. One of my specific duties was to serve as the volunteer coordinator for the church’s Friday night programming known as Cafe Pride. This was a program in which volunteers of the church would commit to opening the church doors every Friday night to allow the local homeless lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth to have a place to congregate and get away from the weather and police harassment. From 8 to midnight every Friday night, I saw real agape love on display as the church volunteers would provide a home-cooked meal for the youth, play games with them, watch a movie with them or just engage in conversation with them about their lives and their interests. There was never any judgment or condemnation of their lifestyles or telling them that they needed to be saved and repent of their “wicked” ways. That wasn’t the purpose of the program. It was simply a safe space for these youth and young adults to see what real, agape, unconditional love looks like. It looks like a church opening its fellowship hall every Friday night to youth who live on the streets.
It looks like Antoinette Tuff, the brave woman who managed to talk a mentally disturbed young man out of shooting up an elementary school in Georgia this past August. At one point in her conversation with the gunman, Tuff says the following: “It's going to be all right, sweetie. I want you to know I love you, OK? I'm proud of you.” This radical approach to dealing with an attacker is widely credited with convincing the gunman to surrender to police with nobody being harmed. Ms. Tuff looked at this gunman and saw a real person. She saw someone who needed love. She saw someone who needed proof of the real, agape love. By showing him that kind of love, she also prevented a tragedy.
That’s the same kind of love that God has for us, the created. The beloved. Our being loved isn’t a choice. It is an inherent and beautiful part of who we are. This is the kind of love that Paul is talking about in 1st Corinthians. The kind of love that is so perfect and so holy that it casts out all our hatred. It casts out all our bitterness. It casts out all our cynicism, our bigotry and our fear. It is the kind of love that can even cause an old, bitter cynic to keep believing in the power of love even when he wants to just give it all up.
Mother Teresa, a woman who fully embodied agape love in everything she did and in the way she lived her life, said “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” If we love with that all-consuming, all-encompassing agape love, we too will find this to be the case. We will find that when we do everything in love, that that love will illuminate and shine throughout all we do. We will find that there will be no more hurt, only more love. We will discover that even when we have had our hearts broken over and over again by other people that there is still love to be found in this world. We will discover that God’s agape love is so powerful that we can’t help but continue to believe that love is still a powerful and important force for good in our lives and our world.
Let us love like Antoinette Tuff or like the Friday night volunteers at a church in Chicago. Most importantly, let us love like God loves. Then, we will find that yes, indeed, all you need is love. Love bears all things. Love believes all things. Love hopes all things. Love endures all things. Love never ends. Beloved, never let your love end. It really is all you need in this world.

Wrecking Ball

Folks, here is the sermon I preached today at my internship congregation. Scripture texts were Matthew 2: 1 - 2 and Revelation 7: 15-17


        The Book of Revelation is a challenging text. Biblical scholars have struggled with it for centuries as they have attempted to understand just what exactly this book is actually about. It is full of strange prophecies and visions and images that cannot easily be explained. It is usually claimed by more conservative Christians to be a text about the end of days and what will happen to the faithful and unfaithful when Christ comes back in final victory. The wicked shall be punished and the good shall be rewarded and there shall be much wailing and gnashing of teeth. The Devil himself shall be conquered when Christ comes back in final victory. Before that can happen, though, there will be a great war to end all wars and there will be many casualties. Those who believe will be saved while those who don’t shall be denied eternal rest with God and instead will suffer the eternal torment of Hell.
That, as I said, is a conservative Christian reading of it. It has been used to justify all manner of evils in this world from holy wars to genocides to persecution of non-Christians. I’d like to, if I may, reclaim this text. Instead of labeling it as a text of terror, I’d like to offer up the idea that it is a text of grace. Let me explain what I mean.
Recently, there was some controversy in the news regarding an interview that the patriarch of “Duck Dynasty” gave in GQ magazine. For those of you who don’t know what “Duck Dynasty” is, it is a reality show on the A & E network that follows a family of duck hunters in the Louisiana bayou. The show is one of the most-watched TV shows on basic cable and frequently has more viewers than many critically-acclaimed shows like “Downton Abbey”, “The Good Wife” and “Mad Men”. In the interview, Phil Robertson, patriarch of the family, was asked about his views regarding homosexuality. Now, it shouldn’t really be that shocking that a redneck bearded straight white male from the South wouldn’t be in favor of it. What really stood out about the interview was the level of vitriol and distaste he had for it. He compared homosexuality to bestiality and cited his religious views and personal belief in God as the reasons for his dislike of it. Now, I’m not here to judge or condemn his remarks in any way. That’s not the focus of my sermon today, other than to say that if you’ve known me for more than five seconds, you can hopefully guess where I stand on his remarks.
What I am going to focus on is the level of “Christian outrage” that was generated over his remarks. The A & E network immediately suspended Robertson for his remarks claiming that his statements did not fit with the network’s personal views. The amount of Christian outrage over Robertson’s suspension has been astronomical as Christians have rushed to Robertson’s defense even going so far as to send A & E’s CEO death threats for daring to suspend him. Many Christians have held up his views as the correct Christian view on the issue and have said that Robertson is being persecuted for his religious beliefs.
Now, here are my questions about all this. A man is suspended from a TV show because he expresses his Christian beliefs that homosexuality is sinful and wrong. Christians everywhere respond with death threats and boycotts. Over 28,000 people in the United States have died due to gun violence since the school shooting in Connecticut last December. That means 90 people have died every single day due to gun violence. Where is the Christian outrage about this? One in eight people worldwide suffer from hunger or malnutrition issues. One in 8. Where is the Christian outrage about this? The United States, the richest and most developed country on Earth, has approximately 50 million people living at or below the poverty line. Where is the Christian outrage about this? In countries like Uganda, Russia and Qatar, LGBTQ individuals are subject to imprisonment, castration and even death just because of their sexual orientation. Where is the Christian outrage toward these countries and their flagrant human rights abuses?
Perhaps we have our priorities out of sync. Perhaps we’ve let our more conservative brothers and sisters in Christ hijack the message of Christianity. Perhaps it is time we reclaim this message and what better day to do it than today.
Today is the day when Christians celebrate Epiphany, otherwise known as the day that the magi (or the Three Kings or the Three Wise men) came to deliver their gifts to Jesus. Epiphany traditionally marks the end of the Twelve Days of Christmas and the beginning of what we liturgical nerds call “Ordinary Time”. Epiphany comes from the Greek word, epiphania, which translates as “the manifestation of God into the world”. Epiphany, literally then, is the day on which we celebrate the coming of Christ into the world because Christians recognize just how important Christ’s entry into the world is for their own lives.
What does it look like for Christ to be manifest in our world today? Earlier in the service, we sang the hymn “My Soul Cries Out with a Joyful Shout” or as I learned it, “The Canticle of the Turning.” This happens to be a personal favorite hymn of mine and one of the reasons why is because it details what will happen when Jesus Christ manifests into the world. “The hungry poor shall weep no more for the food they can never earn. You will show your might and put the strong to flight. Your justice tears every tyrant from his throne.” This is what the world will look like when Epiphany happens and Christ is manifested in the world.
We hear this same sentiment expressed in our Scripture text from the book of Revelation. They will hunger no more and thirst no more... and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. This is the Good News that we hear from this book of the Bible. This is how we, as Christians, can reclaim the Book of Revelation and indeed the entire Bible: by declaring that it is a book full of hope and promise and grace. It proclaims that when Jesus comes into our world, there will be no more hunger. There will be no more thirst. There will be no more gun deaths or homophobia or racism. Not in the world that Jesus creates. There is simply no place for any of that in Jesus’s new world.
Just like a wrecking ball, Jesus comes in and tears down all our walls. Our walls of homophobia. Our walls of racism. Our walls of classism, sexism & transphobia. Jesus breaks on through them all and calls us to live with each other in peace and freedom. Freedom from violence and hate and bigotry. Freedom from oppression and freedom from repression. When Christ manifests himself into the world, it is truly a new day and a new world. One where indeed, the hungry poor shall weep no more. One where bigotry and homophobia no longer exist. One where our Christian outrage directs us to work for the outcasts and the displaced. The immigrants and those in poverty shall all have a place at the table in this new epiphany.
There’s a new day coming. A day in which Jesus is at the forefront. A day in which the Christian outrage is over issues like gun violence and poverty and homophobia and bigotry and sexism. The only questions that remain: are we going to let Jesus break down those walls? Are we willing to let Jesus Christ be the wrecking ball that our world so desperately needs?

Hard Candy Christmas

Folks, here is the sermon that I preached last night at my internship's Blue Christmas Worship Service. May it provide you with some comfort and healing during this holiday season. Scripture text was Matthew 11: 28-30

In this passage from the Gospel of Matthew, we hear Jesus say, “Come to me all that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens and I will give you rest.” I don’t know about you but I sure would like to do that. The holiday season can be a very rough time for many people. I’m sure it might be that way for most of the people here tonight, which is why you are here. We hear songs of joy and peace and we feel neither joy nor peace. When you are having a difficult holiday season, hearing a song like “Joy to the World” does not make you feel very joyful. In fact, it can make you feel very unjoyful and even, dare I say it, grinchy.
Yet, all around us, we see nothing but happiness and joy and mirth. The grief that many people feel at this time of the year is almost never acknowledged or appreciated. It is almost as if society would rather not think about it and expects us all to just get over it and be happy and cheerful for a few weeks. Yet, for many of us, that’s not the reality we face. In 2004, my father passed away after several years of declining health. I still have fond memories of spending Christmas with him so every Christmas since his death has been tinged with sadness. In 2005, my mentor/friend/surrogate father-figure killed himself a week before Thanksgiving. That same week, my mother fell and broke her leg and had to have major surgery. Thanksgiving that year was spent at the hospital with my mom. In 2010, I was violently mugged for the first time ever a week before Thanksgiving. Needless to say, I was having a hard time finding much to be thankful or jolly about that year. This year, I received word that a dear friend and surrogate grandmother passed away after a brief battle with pancreatic cancer and in the same week also experienced the dissolution of another failed relationship.
I think it is safe to say that when it comes to the holiday season, I know something about not feeling all that joyful or merry. Don’t get me wrong, I still love Christmas. I listen to Christmas music obsessively. I love watching Christmas movies, decorating Christmas trees, drinking egg nog, opening presents, the whole bit. However, I’m also keenly aware of the fact that for so many, Happy Holidays are anything but.
In the song, “Hard Candy Christmas”, Dolly Parton sings about the end of a relationship but her words really could be about anyone who is experiencing a difficult holiday season for any reason. “Hey, maybe I'll dye my hair. Maybe I'll move somewhere. Maybe I'll get a car. Maybe I'll drive so far, they'll all lose track.” What we hear here is a desire for escape, for a fresh start. Doesn’t that sound so great for so many of us? When we are faced with difficulty, we do feel the need to escape or run away from it. That can take many forms. It can look like us getting on a plane and traveling across the country for a few weeks. It can look like us selling our home and moving far away from everything that reminds us of our grief. It can look like staying in our bed for three days straight and refusing to leave the house or answer the phone. It can, unfortunately, also look like us retreating into drugs and alcohol. Our grief can and does take many forms.
“I’ll be fine and dandy. Lord, it’s like a Hard Candy Christmas. I’m barely getting through tomorrow but still I won’t let sorrow bring me way down.” Here, we hear conflicting emotions. On the one hand, we hear Dolly say that she has hit rock bottom. She can barely make it through her days. On the other hand, we hear her say that she won’t let her sorrow bring her down. She will rise up and stand tall. The line hard candy Christmas is often regarded as a reference to Dolly’s childhood. She grew up in poverty and had 11 siblings. Since money was tight, at Christmas, rather than receiving presents, she and her siblings would receive hard candy instead. That was what their parents could afford to give them. It wasn’t much at all but it was all they had to give. The term “hard candy Christmas” has come to symbolize those times when we aren’t able to provide much joy to anybody so we have to make do with what we have, even when that is just a piece of hard candy.
For many, the idea of a hard candy Christmas resonates. For those who can’t afford to give their families the presents that they want. For those who can’t afford to fly home to be with their families and instead are spending it alone. For those who are just one paycheck away from being homeless. For those who are already homeless. For all these people, a hard candy Christmas is about right. For them, there will be no presents under the tree. For many, they won’t even have a tree because they don’t have a home to put a tree in.
Yes, there will be plenty of times in our lives when we too will experience a “hard candy Christmas.” It may be because we recently lost our job and cannot afford to spend extra money on presents for our loved ones. It may be because we are facing this holiday season without someone we deeply cared about. It may be because we are dealing with mental illness or an addiction of some sort. It may be because we are grieving the end of a relationship that meant so much to us. It may even be that we are lamenting the fact that we are once again facing the holiday season alone due to our spectacular inability to maintain a relationship for longer than a month! For any or all of these reasons, this could indeed be a “hard candy Christmas”.
This past weekend marked the one year anniversary of the school shooting in Newtown, CT. There’s no words to express the grief that the parents of the victims have experienced over the last year. I can’t even comprehend what emotions they’ve been dealing with every day since the shooting. I’m sure that for many of them, it was and will continue to be a “hard candy Christmas”. Songs of joy and peace probably haven’t been very comforting to them over the last year. Where is their relief? Where is their rest? Who can they bring their burdens to?
“Take my yoke upon you. . . For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” What comfort can we find in these verses? What Jesus is saying here is that when we trust in him, we will find ourselves with a lighter burden to carry. Come, bring your burdens to God as the song says. Does this mean that our burdens will suddenly cease to exist or that we will forget that we have them? Surely not. My dad is still dead. I still miss him almost ten years later. The families in Newtown, CT still miss their children. The homeless are still homeless. As Lea Michele, star of the TV show Glee, so eloquently stated it on “The Ellen Degeneres Show” recently, “Grief goes with you every day, whatever you’re doing.” Our grief, our sadness, our struggles will still be there. What has changed, however, is how we deal with the grief. Rather than wallowing in self-pity and refusing to leave the house, we go outside and take a walk in the fresh air. We hike up a mountain. We go visit friends. We reach out to our communities of support and they help us process everything. “Maybe I’ll learn to sew. Maybe I’ll just lie low. Maybe I’ll hit the bars. Maybe I’ll count the stars until dawn.”
It is at our darkest moments when we have to learn to keep going because we can’t let sorrow bring us way down. We trust in Jesus. We trust that God is there to comfort us in our grief, no matter how bleak things might seem. We trust that when we bring our burdens to God that God can handle them. We trust that even in those moments when we feel so completely lost, alone and afraid that God is there walking with us and perhaps even carrying us on God’s shoulders. Our mourning shall turn to dancing and our lamentation shall turn to joy. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not even next month or next year. But one day, you’ll see, you’ll wake up and the sun will shine again and you’ll feel a sense of joy and peace again. You, too, will be “just fine and dandy” even if it has been a hard candy Christmas.

Someday, My Prince Will Come?

With the holiday season approaching, I wanted to write about a topic that has been on my heart the past few weeks. I warn you that this is a subject that many people don't like to talk about. It's one that I particularly don't like to talk about. I'm going to make myself very vulnerable here and possibly say things that I've never said out loud. Also, it is entirely possible that some of my loyal readers may not like some of what I say here. That's fine but I make no apologies for how I feel. You shouldn't have to apologize for your feelings anyway. All that being said, let's discuss the subject of dating and relationships.

Why do I bring this up? Because it is something that has been a part of my life almost from the beginning. I just turned 29 years old last month. Perhaps that is why this has been weighing so heavily on my heart. I've entered the last year of my 20s and I cannot even tell you how hard it is to continually hear from friends that they've started dating someone or they've gotten engaged or they're having a baby while I continue to strike out in the dating world. As I watch more and more of my friends partner up and settle down, I'm left feeling very alone and unloved. I want to emphasize here that I am very happy for my friends and I share in their joy and excitement over those kinds of things but I also can't help but feel a slight stab in my heart that I continue to feel like a failure in that aspect of my life.

Yes, I am aware of all that positive stuff that is spouted about how you have to love yourself first and how you are supposed to feel like a complete person by yourself and blah blah blah. Here's the thing. I say that stuff to myself all the time. I do feel like a complete person. I do love myself (most of the time) but I'm not gonna lie, being single can still really suck. I know I like to put on a cynical, tough exterior here and say that I'm not a relationship type of person or that I don't need anyone else in my life because I don't have time for it or whatever but the truth of the matter is: deep down, I really want to share my life with someone else. It's a very human desire and how could I not want that? I'm also very aware of the idea that we shouldn't compare our lives to other peoples because that means we will never be satisfied because our lives will never be as good as someone else's. I hear that but let's be honest, that's not actually how we are wired. You can tell yourself every single day that you are perfectly happy with your life and how it is but the minute your best friend meets the love of her life and gets married, don't even try and tell me that a part of you won't be depressed because you still haven't met anyone worthy. The truth of the matter is, yes, my life is pretty great. I live in a beautiful part of the country surrounded by supportive friends. I'm in great health. I have an internship that I love and am thriving at. Yes, I have it better than a lot of people. I get that. Yet, does that mean that I can't be at least a tiny bit sad that I haven't found anybody to share my joys and sorrows with? Does acknowledging that my life is pretty great also mean that I can't acknowledge that that aspect of my life isn't so great?

It's not for lack of trying, I can assure you of that. I've been in two relationships so far and they both ended very abruptly and very suddenly. The most recent one happened over the summer with someone who I really thought had potential to be a great permanent partner for me. They checked off all of the boxes on my checklist (and believe me, I am extremely picky so almost no one checks all the boxes). Sadly, it didn't last. I didn't take it well. I think I'm still not entirely over them and it is conceivable that I won't be for quite a while. I really hate the dating world and the games you have to play in it and the subtle hints you have to decode. I was so looking forward to being done with all of it. To be honest, I really don't want to deal with it all over again. My Asperger's means I have a difficult time picking up on social cues or subtle hints which seems to be what dating is all about. I don't like having to watch what I say or being afraid that I'm going to scare them off or hearing after two dates that they "just like me as a friend." Here's the thing: I'm not looking for any more friends. I have plenty of friends. I could literally not make another friend for the rest of my life and I would still have too many friends. At this point in my life, I'm searching for something more than that. I'm craving something deeper. Someone I can be intimate with in ways that I can't be with friends. Someone who I can be with forever and even potentially raise children with. Yes, I just said that out loud. I do have a desire to have children. That might shock some of you as I like to make jokes about how I hate children or don't think they are the right thing for me but the truth of the matter is, I would love to be a dad. I think I could be a pretty good one so the idea that that door might never be available to me is one that I really struggle to be okay with. My other deep, dark secret? I have a fear of dying alone. I have a fear that there will be no one at the hospital to say goodbye to me when I go. In my ideal scenario, I'd be surrounded by my partner and our kids and maybe a few really close friends as I take my last breaths on this earth. I worry that that ideal might not become reality.

I don't think my coupled friends realize sometimes how unintentionally hurtful some of their rather innocuous comments can be. When they gush about their boyfriends or husbands on Facebook. When they post a picture of their huge engagement ring. When they post about their pregnancy or post pictures of the baby. While I know they mean well, these types of things are unintentionally hurtful to me because I know that that might never be my situation. My Facebook status might consistently stay at single (it has so far). I may never know the joy of being a parent. I may never propose or be proposed to. So, every time I see stuff like this on my newsfeed, I seriously want to gag or cry or just go lay down in the fetal position. Why can't people post more pictures of their cats? I love seeing pictures of cats. Why don't we brag about our goldfish more? I'd much rather see a picture of your cat than your baby. It would hurt less!

I think another reason why this weighs so heavily on my heart is because I'm going into a profession where single people are heavily frowned upon (even if that's never stated directly). Churches feel much more comfortable hiring pastors that are married and/or have kids. That's the narrative they want to present to other churches. That's the narrative they want to use to recruit more families. I've heard stories of churches who outright have rejected candidates because they were single. Since it is entirely possible that I will still be single by the time I finish school and am ready to seek a call, this really worries me. Is my inability to stay in a relationship longer than a month going to affect my ability to find a job? What am I supposed to do about that? The #1 reason why many single adults stop going to church? Because it is the one aspect of their lives where they feel most acutely aware of their singleness. At work, at school, even in their families, they may not feel it but at church they are keenly aware of it. Thus, they stay away from church. What are churches doing to address this fact?

I think we need to be more aware of the language we use and the words we say to singles. Someday, my prince will come. Maybe he will. What if he doesn't? What if my "knight in shining armor" doesn't exist? Is that okay? Does that make me less of a person? Am I okay with accepting this fact? What if I am meant to stay single? I've certainly been on more than enough bad dates to never want to dip my toe into those waters ever again! I guess I'm just getting to the point where I'm starting to wonder if that special someone is even out there. I can't help but feel slightly inadequate that I still haven't met anybody. I have accepted that I may never meet anyone. Maybe that's how it is meant to be. Not everyone is meant to get married or partner up. Here's the thing about that. Yes, perhaps some of us aren't meant to be with someone but do I have to be one of those someones? Why can't I be with somebody? Yes, I fully believe that I am a complete person even by myself. That doesn't mean that I can't still have the desire to have that special connection with a special person. I think what I've realized is that I'm not a dating person. I'm a relationship person. I want the relationship but not all the drama and games that go with dating. I just want that one special person that I can come home to after a long day of work and cuddle with on the couch and watch a movie. Or someone that I can vacation with or someone that I can bring home with me for the holidays and have them meet my family and feel like I have somebody special that loves me in spite of (or because of) my flaws. Sometimes, I just feel so aware of how much I desperately want that and don't have it. And, it hurts. It deeply, deeply hurts. Maybe it shouldn't but it does. Every. Single. Time.

Light Up the World

Folks, here is the text of the sermon that I preached today at my internship congregation. It was my first time preaching there and it went really well! Got lots of positive feedback and really felt like the congregation enjoyed it immensely. My Scripture text was Romans 12: 4-8


Today is Christian Vocation Sunday. It’s also Labor Day Weekend. Combined, these two days are days when we honor and celebrate the act of working. The Presbyterian Church (USA) clarifies the word vocation by defining it as the idea that God has given each of us gifts and that we are therefore called to use those gifts in a way that pleases and serves God and others. Our vocation is the way in which we respond to the many gifts God has given us; how we live our life.
That seems to tie in well with our Scripture passage today. We hear Paul say the following words, “we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us.” What does this mean, though, for our modern-day context? What it refers to is the idea that we each have something to offer the world. Educational reformer John Dewey once said, “To find out what one is fitted to do, and to secure an opportunity to do it, is the key to happiness.” Therefore, it behooves us all to discover what it is that we are called to do with our lives. For some of us, it may be cooking. For others, it may be working in the financial sector. For others, it may be raising children. All of these, if they fit our gifts, our interests and our abilities are good, life-giving work and can be considered our Christian vocation and even, dare I say it, our ministry.
I define ministry as anything you enjoy doing that also brings joy to others and that means that if you enjoy cooking and it brings joy to others, then that is your ministry. I happen to enjoy watching movies and reviewing them and that, to me, is ministry. If you enjoy teaching children or youth, that’s your ministry. Anything can be a ministry. Anything that fits our gifts and talents and interests. I think Paul would agree with me there. We may all have different gifts but we all use these different gifts in unison to glorify and honor God, the one who gave us these gifts.
So, what does this mean for our lives together as Christians? It means that we are all members of the same body of Christ. We may each have different gifts or even different ministries but no one is outside of the body of Christ even if their gifts or ministries might not be “acceptable” in our eyes. We each bring something different to the table. We each bring something of ourselves to the table. What we contribute may in some cases seem insignificant or small or relatively unimportant but it all is important to God and it is all acceptable to God. The work we do matters. The work we do is important even if society would sometimes like us to believe otherwise. The images we see on television and in magazines is that some careers are better or more important than others and therefore those people deserve more attention or more importance or more money or more status. We emphasize just how much more important a CEO is than a maid or how a Senator is just too busy to handle something mundane like housework or raising children.
Yet, that’s not actually the case at all. In the eyes of God, there is no difference between a CEO or a maid; a Senator or a housewife. Each contributes a different but just as important gift to the Christian community. In the same way that eyes contribute something different to the body than the feet do but each is just as important to the makeup of the body, so it is with what we do with our vocations. Yes, a Senator and a housewife have radically different jobs with different responsibilities, benefits, pay grades and statuses but ultimately they both contribute in their own way to the larger Christian community and without both their contributions, the community looks and feels different.
This is why it is of paramount importance for us to honor and respect each other’s work. It makes no difference if one is a waitress or a banker or even the President of the United States, our work is important and useful and good because it honors and serves God. This is why it becomes absolutely vital for us to appreciate all the many ways that we each contribute to the body of Christ. So, on this Labor Day weekend while some of us rest from our labors, let’s remember those who don’t get Labor Day off. Let’s respect those who work in jobs that we might consider beneath us. Let’s appreciate the hard work of those who don’t get any appreciation from society. I worked in retail for two years before coming to seminary. I worked every Labor Day, every Christmas and every Thanksgiving. It was hard, monotonous and sometimes boring work. The hardest part about it, though, was the lack of appreciation that I would receive from customers. I got plenty of complaints (and even a few profanity-laced tirades) but almost no compliments. It made me very aware of just how little we appreciate that particular sector of our society. We are just as likely not to tip our waitress who brings us our food as we are to ignore the janitor who cleans our bathrooms. In many cases, we don’t even see these people unless there is a problem. We are all too eager to complain if the bathroom is not clean enough or if our food is served cold but how often are we willing to take the time to compliment someone on their superb job cleaning the bathroom or their excellent handling of our complicated beverage order? My point is is that too often, we forget to acknowledge the work that others do for us. We forget to see them as part of the body of Christ. Instead, we complain and gripe at them because they dared to forget to put non-fat milk in our triple latte. Nothing’s worse than getting the wrong coffee at Starbucks, am I right?!
I think I would be remiss here if I did not at least acknowledge in some way the historic event that occurred fifty years ago this week. On August 28, 1963, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his “I Have A Dream” speech in which he someday dreamed of a world in which we would not judge others by “the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Many may not realize that his now-famous and well-known speech was actually the culmination of what was titled the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. The marchers were protesting a system of economic inequality that was keeping the poor oppressed and preventing them from lifting themselves out of poverty. At the time, the national unemployment rate was 5 percent. Sadly, that number has actually gone up to 7.7 percent. For African Americans, the unemployment rate is nearly 16 percent and for Hispanics, 10 percent. Then, the federal minimum wage was 1.25 per hour. Today, it is 7.25 per hour meaning that the minimum wage has only gone up 6 dollars in 50 years. There is absolutely no reason why a woman working 40 hours a week at her job shouldn’t be able to provide the basic necessities for herself and her children. It is unconscionable that the McDonald’s Corporation, a company worth billions, asks its employees to create a budget for themselves that doesn’t allow for child care, gasoline, groceries or clothing. Meanwhile, corporate CEOs continue to rake in millions and are able to afford to buy that second house in Maui that their kids have been begging them for. Does anyone else see the irony in this?
This is happening because we have forgotten to see each other and the work we do as valuable and important. We have forgotten to see each other as part of the body of Christ. We have forgotten to see ourselves as the body of Christ. We have lifted up and made important some people while denigrating and fundamentally denying the importance of other people. We have forgotten to let our light shine but instead hide it under a bushel because we don’t see what we do as important. We are the ones working the minimum wage jobs. We are the ones working every single weekend and holiday. We are the ones who have to work two jobs just to pay rent and buy groceries. We are the ones who, at the end of the day, are tired and worn out and exhausted and are then told that we are lazy and don’t deserve to have the same privileges as others.
I say to you that we need to start writing a new story. We need to start writing a story in which we all are equal in each other’s eyes. A story in which we see each other as part of the body of Christ. A story in which a CEO is no more nor no less important than a housekeeper. A story in which we let our own lights shine because then other peoples’ lights will shine as well. In her book, A Return to Love, author Marianne Williamson provides one of the most profound and most-quoted lines about this very concept. She writes, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Therefore, I say to you, go and let your light shine. Go and remember to see each other as part of the body of Christ. We all have different gifts but all our gifts are equal and important to our community of faith. Remember that, always. Don’t hide your light under a bushel. Instead, let it shine and brighten other people’s lives so that they may in turn do the same. Go and liberate each other from your fears. Light up the world. We already have too much darkness out there. Let’s, instead, be the light.
(Sung) “This Little Light of Mine, I’m gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!”