2010: The Year in Review

Now that we have entered a new year, I feel that it is now appropriate to take a moment and just reflect on all that I have learned about myself and what all I did this past year. 2010 marked a year of great personal growth for me although it was marked by some great tragedy as well. Overall, though, it was a pretty great year for me and I just wanted to take a moment and talk about what this year helped me realize.

• Honesty really is the best policy even when it does cause you great personal distress. Still, it remains important to be yourself and be honest about yourself.
• I finally moved away from home after years of wanting to do it and yes it was scary and I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to do it successfully. However, it turns out I really can make it in a big city.
• I finally found some sort of life direction. I no longer feel like I am drifting through life and actually feel like I have some sense of purpose.
• I started to really like myself and make peace with the person I am now. I spent too many years hating myself and now finally can actually say that I like myself and my body and mean it.
• It is possible for me to successfully live with other people and enjoy myself.
• Somehow, in the entire year of 2010, I managed to avoid getting sick. I attribute this to the fact that I started listening to my body more and started taking better care of myself. I hope to continue this pattern of good self-care throughout 2011 and maybe I can avoid getting sick again this year!!! This is made even more impressive when you consider that I got a bad eye infection in 2007, had bronchitis twice in 2008 and strep throat twice in 2009. So, the fact that I managed to dodge the sickness bullet this past year is a minor miracle.
• I've realized who my true friends are. The people that have stuck by me through everything and continue to support me no matter what decisions I make. Those are the kinds of people that I want in my life and if you are one of them, then thanks so much for your support! It really does mean a lot and I hope you will continue to support me throughout 2011 which is guaranteed to be another year full of major life changes.
• While I still love the theatre and the stage, I've realized that acting is just not meant to be my career. It was a hard thing to realize but to be honest, I really haven't missed the stage all that much. It has been almost a year since I was last in a show and I have really enjoyed exploring all the other opportunities available to me. Not saying I will never do another show again but if I do, it will be because I genuinely want to be back on stage as a way of glorifying God not myself.
• I need to take more time to just spend with God. I also need to learn to trust him more. I'm a control freak, Type A personality so this is proving to be difficult but I resolve (dare I use that word) to try and make God the number one focus in my life. After all, I wouldn't be where I am today without him.
• The years of abuse I suffered were terrible but they helped make me who I am. I hope to use my past suffering to better other people's lives. Only then can I truly break the cycle of abuse.
• I need to not be afraid to call myself a Christian. Indeed, I need to be more willing to acknowledge and label myself as such. It doesn't benefit anybody to deny my faith. Maybe by letting others know that I am a Christian, it might change other people's minds about what Christians can be. Help get the negative images out of their heads and show them a different brand of Christianity.
• I really need to do a better job of keeping in touch and reconnecting with people. I've lost touch with so many people over the years because I have been afraid to talk to them because I didn't think they would care. I need to quit that attitude. If they are really still my friends, of course they will care. If not, then they aren't really my friends and I shouldn't worry about what they think anyway. This is one I am really going to work hard at this next year. It might take some time and will not be easy but I am determined to make it happen. After all, I don't want to get to the end of my life and have nobody there to help me pass on because I was too lazy or busy or scared to keep in touch with anybody.

Well, I think that really sums it up. 2010 was a pretty good year for me, one of the best ever but I sincerely believe that 2011 will be even better. If anything, it will certainly be filled with lots of change again which is a positive thing. Thanks for following my journey so far this year. Hope you will continue to follow me throughout the next year. It's been a long, crazy ride that's for sure and it is sure to get even crazier!! Hope everyone had a Happy and Safe New Year!!