I was telling my therapist the other day that doing the YAV program and moving and all that entails represents the first time in my life that I have ever done something for me rather than for someone else. That's what makes me so happy that everyone has been so supportive of it. It feels good to finally be doing something for myself and receive such positive feedback to it. For far too long, I have done things either because someone else wanted me to do them or because it was what was expected of me. Now, I am finally taking charge and doing something for me and that is such a great feeling. Especially to know that so many others are supportive of my decision. It really makes me feel good and lets me know that I have made the right decision.
I would be remiss though if I did not mention how incredibly nervous I am in doing this program. It is going to require a lot of sacrifice on my part and a huge leap of faith which is something that I have always struggled to do. As one of the many people my age with a ton of debt, I am trusting that God will provide and I will be ok. I am putting the majority of my loans in deferment and trying to work out something with my credit card companies so that makes me nervous. I will be living on a $100 a month stipend which is about a tenth of what I currently make so I am taking a huge pay cut in order to participate in this program. I am also (and this part may shock some of you) giving up my car, my iPhone, my DVR and my Netflix account in order to live a simpler lifestyle. Giving these things up is huge for me and some of my friends have even questioned if I am going to be able to do it. It's a valid question as I have made clear to many that my DVR is my life partner and my Netflix account is my best friend but by leaving these things behind, I am reminded of the passage in the Bible in which Jesus asked James and John to give up their possessions and follow him. In order to be a true follower of Christ, one has to be willing to make sacrifices and for me, sacrificing these things and taking a huge pay cut is the best way I can think of to live by this principle. I will still have a laptop (just got a new Macbook last week) so I won't be completely out of it and I will have a cell phone just a really cheap one. So, I am not giving up all my possessions just the ones that have been the most important to me. This is my way of saying "Here I am Lord", I will go where you send me. I think that's enough for today. I just want to leave you with one final thought. It's a quote I found that I think will serve me well over the next year of my life. "The Will of God won't take you where the Grace of God can't protect you." May we all live our lives keeping this at the forefront. I will be in Indiana all next week for the Presbyterian Youth Triennium so won't be blogging until after I get back. Have a great week and remember that God (and I) love You!!
PS: I accidentally put the wrong link for giving online but honestly, it would be easier to just send a check as online donations are subject to a 5% processing fee!!